Son and Daugher-in-law hosting skills....

Whenever it’s one of my grandkids birthday I always turn up with cupcakes and something else so not too much pressure on the parents. One of my other daughter inlaw parents always come with homemade pies and soup. And my other daughter inlaw parents also turn up with sandwiches and drinks Have you ever thought he could have being skint and didn’t want to say or struggling with having ppl in the house with covid etc. I always ask when I’m invited are you ok for Money anything I can bring and always get no we fine or could you make such and such but I always do that and more but that’s me and I love to bake.

Another name for pot luck is Jacobs join. Perhaps, as people say your son has not got a lot of money to spend on hosting friends but likes to have them round.

Next time he invites, say you didn’t think there was enough food/drink last time. And offer to bring something if he wants you to. And ask to be reimbursed.

Just turn up with a few bottles, especially soft drinks if many are driving. A huge plate of sausage rolls and just say hope you don’t mind but needed to make room in my fridge and freezer.
Nobody offended and all fed and watered.
If it’s just a family dinner then ask what you can bring.
I really wouldn’t point out their lack of hosting skills, it may knock their confidence.

Next time ask what he'd like you to bring. Then you could ask what food he's serving. Ask if he has sorted drinks and snacks or could that be your contribution.

My son is very similar(not togood socially) so whenever he invites me I offer to bring drinks and/or cake etc.

When invited to any family gathering I always say How Lovely and what can I bring. Have never been known to arrive empty handed and no offence ever taken.

At least you get asked!
My son and his wife have been married 15 years and we've never been asked for a meal. Neither have her parents.

Nightsky2

M0nica

noun: potluck

a situation in which one must take a chance that whatever is available will prove to be good or acceptable.
"he could take pot luck in a town not noted for its restaurants"
North American
a meal or party to which each of the guests contributes a dish.
plural noun: potlucks
"a potluck supper"

Two countries divided by a single language.

Thank you MOnica…..I did wonder what a “potluck” dinner was.

In French we call it 'Souper Canadien' - very popular.

I knew it was I never learn

Lulu

Yes, very sexist.

Where is his wife in all this, I know it is sexist but most women do take some interest in what goes on the table. In fact lets face it they usually do all the work whichever side of the family are turning up. Could it be the cost? Taking a starter or pud is quite common and usually very welcome.
I would be careful if you have word with him as it may be that his wife will suddenly take exception to you trying to sort out their household.

M0nica

noun: potluck

a situation in which one must take a chance that whatever is available will prove to be good or acceptable.
"he could take pot luck in a town not noted for its restaurants"
North American
a meal or party to which each of the guests contributes a dish.
plural noun: potlucks
"a potluck supper"

Two countries divided by a single language.

Thank you MOnica…..I did wonder what a “potluck” dinner was.

noun: potluck

a situation in which one must take a chance that whatever is available will prove to be good or acceptable.
"he could take pot luck in a town not noted for its restaurants"
North American
a meal or party to which each of the guests contributes a dish.
plural noun: potlucks
"a potluck supper"

Two countries divided by a single language.

Social skills are usually learned from parents I would have thought.
He’s your son so just spell it out, tell him he needs to provide bigger portions for guests. Don’t you take a bottle of something when you go there as that’s what most people do when invited to dinner, lunch, bbq’s, birthday parties etc.,. Just make sure when you tell him that he’s on his own as you don’t want DiL to hear you.?

Maybe he is oblivious to it, you have not told him, you served the soft drinks and portioned the food so there was enough.

How would he know there is a problem.

Maybe he hasn't the money for a lavish spread? Or just feels that he is happy spending time with people and not bothering about the food.
My ex brother in law used to invite us for barbecues and there was just enough meat to go round , one bowl of salad between about 8 plus bread. Another brother in law used to make sure that he ate before he went!
Or you could do like my mother in law did - just turn up with food for all !
Or why not just ask what you can take?

BlueBelle

Is this real !
As others have said he s yours

Just tell him to do a 'Johnson' BYOB

I thought “ Pot luck” means the guest is to bring along a course, which is a good idea if the host is squeezed financially. Maybe you could offer to provide something toward the main course as well as the starter or pudding

FindingNemo15

Our DD has the opposite situation. She puts out a massive spread, their guests eat and drink like horses, but never invite them to theirs!

... not nice!

Your DD must make a mental note of those guests - and make sure not to invite them again.

Maybe they can't match the competition

Agree that they are probably a bit hard up. I personally wouldn't say anything. Maybe take a few bottles of soft drinks when you are going over.

Our DD has the opposite situation. She puts out a massive spread, their guests eat and drink like horses, but never invite them to theirs!

Once with a lot of others at a party there was barely any food or drinks suplied by the hosts and it soon disappeared.
There were more people coming after the theatre .
He hastily disappeared to find a late night shop that was open to buy more food and drink.
Afterwards it decided that there were two options to what had happened either they had underestimated what people would eat,or they were expecting people to bring food as well as drink unasked,in both cases they were nieve.
The next time there was plenty and more for everyone.
If you want a get together but cannot afford it you admit it by saying we'll host if everyone brings something to eat and drink or you invite as they used to to a Dutch supper/bring and share night.
I would ask them what their catering intentions were and make them plane to those attending.
I have been to wedding s where it is announced that if you stick to wine or beer it is free if you want spirits you buy your own. No one objects when it is made clear.

Perhaps he and his wife are very short of money. They want to entertain but cannot afford the food.

I would take something along with me.....maybe dessert if its dinner your invited to,along with a bottle of something. This is quite a traditional thing to do and wouldn't hopefully cause offence.