Son and Daugher-in-law hosting skills....

He’s your son! Surely you can find a way to chat about it pleasantly? Or just leave it be.

I expect the guests enjoy his company and nip into the nearest takeaway on the way home.

It's really not important.

He's your son! Will he have any memories, happy or not, of your family hosting guests when he was younger? Does his partner and/or her family enjoy hosting, or absolutely dread and hate it?

V petty

Do you enjoy the visits otherwise?

It would get me mad if my mother took over my host role in my own home.
I would avoid doing that again.
Other guest can fend for themselves and ask for a drink if they want

Just be glad you get an invite ?

???- I had to laugh only because it reminded me of my son’s house warming party - everyone they met in the pub the previous day, was invited - oh just “pop in “…..as a result, by the time family got there, nothing was left - a sausage here, a sandwich there, some crisps. We just put it down to amateur planning. Things have improved since ?

Maybe the next time you have them round for a meal you could exaggerate the important issues (in your opinion) subtly. That sounds like a contradiction in terms but I'm sure you get the gist!

I’m with all the ‘he’s your son!’ folk.
Just tell him! ‘Next time remember to serve drinks’ and ‘There wasn’t enough food last time, make sure that you get more’
I thought that was what mothers were for?!

Talk to him, he obviously doesn’t realise, perhaps he’s not much interested in food. Do it in a lighthearted way, but talk to him.

Is this real !
As others have said he s yours

Can he afford to host these gatherings? Is money a factor?

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I blame the Parents

I wouldn’t do the “subtle hinting” some people have suggested - he’s your son and if it needs saying , say it!
Most children learn by example ,but this time it seems to have passed over his head.

It’s good of him to invite you but, as others have said, he’s your son. I’d just have a motherly word, in a jokey way. I wonder if they can afford it and if they can’t it’s very kind of them to have you round anyway.

Some of these replies are a bit sharp in my opinion!
We have a relative who is similar- not a great host- again in my opinion.
Slow at greeting or helping with bags unloading car etc, slow at offering drinks or snacks. Does produce nice meals though. We always make good welcomes for visitors so it rankles
Maybe take a few items/ ask your son if he’d like anything bringing before a party or get together - ask him have you got enough for ?……,.
When you’re there - ask him if he’d like you to offer people a drink or whatever.

Calendargirl

Can he afford to host these gatherings? Is money a factor?

I thought that might be an issue, too. Some young people - who don't appear impoverished on the outside - are struggling. I wonder if the OP has thought of that - the 'potluck dinner' serving size indicates it might be?

If it were my son, I'd ask him outright and offer to help out financially with social events - but I know in advance that he wouldn't take offence at being asked. Some young men might not be happy with such questioning though.

I would take something along with me.....maybe dessert if its dinner your invited to,along with a bottle of something. This is quite a traditional thing to do and wouldn't hopefully cause offence.

Perhaps he and his wife are very short of money. They want to entertain but cannot afford the food.

Once with a lot of others at a party there was barely any food or drinks suplied by the hosts and it soon disappeared.
There were more people coming after the theatre .
He hastily disappeared to find a late night shop that was open to buy more food and drink.
Afterwards it decided that there were two options to what had happened either they had underestimated what people would eat,or they were expecting people to bring food as well as drink unasked,in both cases they were nieve.
The next time there was plenty and more for everyone.
If you want a get together but cannot afford it you admit it by saying we'll host if everyone brings something to eat and drink or you invite as they used to to a Dutch supper/bring and share night.
I would ask them what their catering intentions were and make them plane to those attending.
I have been to wedding s where it is announced that if you stick to wine or beer it is free if you want spirits you buy your own. No one objects when it is made clear.

Our DD has the opposite situation. She puts out a massive spread, their guests eat and drink like horses, but never invite them to theirs!

Agree that they are probably a bit hard up. I personally wouldn't say anything. Maybe take a few bottles of soft drinks when you are going over.

FindingNemo15

Our DD has the opposite situation. She puts out a massive spread, their guests eat and drink like horses, but never invite them to theirs!

... not nice!

Your DD must make a mental note of those guests - and make sure not to invite them again.

Maybe they can't match the competition

I thought “ Pot luck” means the guest is to bring along a course, which is a good idea if the host is squeezed financially. Maybe you could offer to provide something toward the main course as well as the starter or pudding