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Grandchildren out of control

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denbylover Sat 19-Mar-22 18:54:49

Hi, it seems to me that the unruly children have the power here, their Mother unfortunately little or none. If nothing changes, nothing changes. What a great pity 2 children have the capacity to spoil what could/should be precious family time. V3ra has made what seems to be the answer, if yr daughter is unable to discipline her son’s effectively, that is to have the 2 families visit separately. Your other daughter might be making this the preferred option soon anyway. A great pity as some behaviour modification could ensure you all enjoy each other’s visits at the same time. I can understand you want to have family unity, but, it’s got to be enjoyable for all.

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V3ra Sat 19-Mar-22 18:36:10

Why not invite the two families to stay with you separately? You could have an enjoyable visit from your younger daughter and her family.
I'd be concerned they'll become increasingly unwilling to visit in years to come. Having to suffer this bad behaviour is not fair on them or a good example to their own children.

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Dressagediva123 Sat 19-Mar-22 18:24:07

Hi everyone- I don’t normally post on here but an ongoing problem has presented itself again this week.
Both of my daughters and GC all live outside the UK - we all got together last week and different parenting issues caused tensions between us all again.
One daughters sons are unruly , they fight constantly ( 12 & 8 ). Constantly swearing at each other - I have tried to intervene and was told in no uncertain terms to back off and leave it up to my daughter- she constantly tells them off about their behaviour but they don’t listen / she threatens them but doesn’t carry out the consequence.
The little one seems very angry and screams his discontent etc - upsetting the rest of the children. My other daughter and her husband find it really difficult as they parent in a very different way - their children are well behaved as a consequence.
I really would like to say to my eldest that we would be happy to take some of the burden off her by asking the children to stop (what ever they are doing ) whilst they are staying with us.
I am reminded of an old African saying that ‘ it takes a village to bring up a child ‘ but she seems intent on cutting us out out of any involvement at all , when it comes to discipline. Any helpful suggestions would be welcome - thx

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