Funny things grandchildren come out with

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

My granddaughter Emelia, on the death of Prince Philip: The Queen might be a little bit happy because she was probably bored with him after all that time. ?

Although I had five children, my favourite expression came from a little boy I childminded. He insisted that the things that cleared the rain on the car were Windwipe Screamers.

When one of my grandsons was about 6 he was waiting to get food at a family buffet and his uncle said to him "Are you as hungry as me?" Jordan looked puzzled and replied "How would I know how hungry you are?"

Good point!

My friends little 2 yr old asked her mum for some crisps. She said " Me want some crisps" Her mum corrected her by saying" Say I want some crisps" She answered "I want some crisps ........ and ME want some too".

My neighbour's little boy (then about 6yrs) came back from a birthday party. His mum asked him what they had to eat. He said he had a new thing called COLD SORE (coleslaw)!!!

My 5 year old grandson said this week that he thinks his two year old brother wants to be a ghost when he grows up because he keeps putting his blanket over his head!

A very small niece was visiting a very elderly step-great-grandfather, who had no hair at all - he’d lost the lot after a pilot son was killed during WW2.

Niece said, ‘You haven’t got any hair!’

He was a jolly old chap and not all put out. ‘Where’s it gone,,
then?’
She thought for a moment: ‘Up to Jesus?’

When my Mum was a Housemother at a children’s home in the 1960s, one little lad had become a Monitor at school and very proud of the fact. He had his SW visiting him to see how he was getting on. My Mum said to him now tell Miss …. what you are, his reply-loved and beautiful as this is what my Mum told all her charges.

Ahhh all so lovely and funny.
I have the pleasure of looking after children, I’m a Registered Childminder.
One of my Mindees didn’t say Butterfly, they used to say ‘Butterflier’ how sweet! Xxx

Well, it’s so surreal it’s funny. My grandson wanted to know why his other grandmother talked about me All The Time! “What does she say?” I asked, totally bemused and unaware of any issues. “That you’re a witch!” Just be aware that I get on really well with my daughter in law! Now every time i see her I wish a had a spell to turn her into a toad?

This is a really old one - told me by my student landlady back in the 60s!

It was very soon going to be one of her grandchildren’s birthdays, but another, still only 3, said, ‘I know it’s not my birthday, Grandma, but I really would like an umbabella!’

(She got her wish. ❤️)

DD lives a train ride away so don't see her as often as we would like but her 15 year old Daughter, when she was a toddler, burst into tears one day we were there, we had no idea why, but she couldn't be consoled......when we finally got her to speak all she said was "Granma no eyes" it took us a while but then realised that I had taken my glasses off and she had never seen me without them before. So for a very long time I was known as grandma no eyes.

I asked my granddaughter if she knew what an attic was she replied ‘I think we’ve got one somewhere in the roof’ bless her

Qwerty

I make Flapjacks with my granddaughter. We'll say to her younger brother, " Do you want a flapjack?" One day he came in and said, "Can I have a flap please?" It dawned on me as his name is Jack he thinks of them as "flaps"! He's older now but we sometimes call them "flaps".

That’s just reminded me of another of GS’s amusing comments.

He loves as children do to play with cardboard box. He was playing inside a large box and told me to put the flaps down. He said I want to be a flapjack in a box! It seems to have stuck as we always refer to them now as flapjacks in a box.

I was in mcdonalds with my grandaughter and she couldn't get the lid off a bottle of juice....I tried but couldn't get it either....I said to her I'd ask the man at the next table to open it....She replied......No granny I will never need a man to do anything for me.....she tried again and opened it....Bye she way she is 11.....

And a dd of just a little over 3 was once talking absolutely non stop in my parents’ car after they’d picked us up from Heathrow.

At one point my mother turned round and asked her, ‘Where do you get all your talking from?’

Dd thought for a second before replying, ‘From my mouf!’

A niece of barely 2 once really made us laugh. She was strapped in at the back while my sister reversed the car down the drive. As she waited to see all was clear before backing into the road, niece piped up, ‘OK left!’

When my son was young he said a minor swear word. I asked 'where did you get that word from' he said 'from out of my throat'.

When youngest son was little he called sausages, sodigers. He’s now 26 and a butcher by trade, would you believe, but at home we still call them sodigers!
His brother when aged about 5 was complaining that his foot had gone fizzy which I thought was an excellent way to describe pins and needles

My 5 year old GD told her mum whose father just turned 93 that he had done well to last this long. I wonder does she think the same about me. I am 72.

I make Flapjacks with my granddaughter. We'll say to her younger brother, " Do you want a flapjack?" One day he came in and said, "Can I have a flap please?" It dawned on me as his name is Jack he thinks of them as "flaps"! He's older now but we sometimes call them "flaps".

One of mine, now a Dad himself, asked aged 7, “is it true that old ladies like you don’t understand computers because you Think you don’t “
Actually, I was computer literate having worked with them since the 70’s. But now I’m long retired, spend time each month teaching basic computer skills to youngsters in their 60’s and guess what? I always start a new class off by saying “ You won’t understand computers unless you stop thinking you won’t understand them”
The grandson who said it to me, thinks it hilarious.

I was listening to my grandchildren having a very in depth conversation after school. One says: "nobody is perfect, there was only one person who was perfect on earth, can you please tell me who who that was?"
After some deep thought the other replies. “Was it uncle D……? Grandchild 1 says, "no, it was Jesus! Uncle D…… isn't perfect! ".
uncle D….. looks like the grandchildren had rather high expectations of you!!

I used to have a stoma, grandson knew all about it and I had explained to him how it worked. He announced in the supermarket in a very loud voice, my granny doesn't poo in the toilet she just goes in a bag while she's watching tv!