9 o’clock birthday invitation!

Summerlove, or that the person complaining about a party being planned around one single person wants the party planned around one single person.

I guess they don't see the irony in that though.

I find it interesting how many adults think a child who still naps is more adaptable to change than they are

9am is a bit early! and simply to accommodate a child’s nap time!!! Their choice of course and in your position I would go with the flow. Children can adapt to a change of routine providing of course there are no special needs. I find that having a birthday party at that time of day purely to ensure there is no disruption to nap time a bit too much! Having said that you will enjoy party I am sure.

PECS for some of us I think it is a result of covid and feeling like we have missed out on so much. My child hasn’t met most of my family until their first birthday party. The party was purely so people could meet them

Is this thread really about the birthday party or about a parenting style which is felt to be inappropriate?

I am sure there are other people here who held family get togethers for their children's birthdays separately to the occasion when their friends came? I think today birthday parties, cake smashes, etc etc are held for much younger children. I don't think I had a party before I started school nor did I have one for my children's friends until they were at school.
Is it all part of the guilt some parents are made to feel because they cannot be full time carers for their children?

My Grandson was 3 in February and he certainly understands the concept of Birthday parties, He's been to quite a few recently and they have all been morning parties. They have all been held at venues never at home. Soft play seems a very popular venue. Personally I didn't attend my GS's even though it was local. I see nothing wrong with the parents not wanting to interfere with his nap time. I find it odd that an adult would be put out they're unable to attend. He'll probably be extremely Hyper and you'll dodge a bullet by not attending. You can visit at a more appropriate time when he is less Hyped up.

9am for a child’s party is just weird. Should be after the nap not before imo.

It is the parents attempt to celebrate their child's 3rd birthday with close family & friends.
A 'just' 3 yr old will have little understanding of the concept of birthday or party!
Choosing a time when the child will be at his best socially and be happier to see less familiar faces and engage with visitors seems sensible!
I do not think all those people wedded to afternoon parties with jelly, ice cream & cake or who feel this is pandering to a child's wishes are necessarily right.
I agree that if child's parents knew it was a long/ early journey for grandad & step grandma they could have chatted that through with them & explained the thinking..but we don't know the relationship between the adults.
If said child usually sleeps at 11:30 for a couple of hours that would rule out a lunchtime gathering. Why have people there to celebrate a child's birthday if child is sleeping when you are there..or being kept awake, grizzling & unhappy? Maybe other toddlers are coming for a tea party in the afternoon. To answer the OP I do not think this is a case of project child, just good enough parents trying to please people & celebrate a little boy's birthday.

This is hardly about a 3 year old child’s birthday party! I wouldn’t go. There are going to be just 3 children and 8 adults. The poor little 3 year old is NOT going to enjoy a bit of it.

It's Ok.

Sorry, my brain didn't connect the dots
(Lowering my head in shame)

Hithere, you know me! It is freedom. I had to change my user name. Still trying to get my old one back.

Iamaround
As a European living in the US for decades, I am sadly too familiar with that.

Do not let that deter you from posting.
Welcome to GN

Hithere, some people really detest Americans. The OP even stated she was Danish and didn't speak English well. Still accused of being an American.

I am around
Rofl with the grammar police

I am going to give an alternate opinion. And yes, I am in the US so I am quite sure the grammar police with descend.

When my kids were little, I did everything I could to adhere to nap schedules. My oldest (still) sleeps horribly and missing a single nap would wreak havoc for days. That is not coddling a child, it was self preservation and if someone had judged my decision based on the viewpoint that I am coddling my child based on a time for a party, they would have been uninvited. A tired cranky birthday child will not make for a very fun party for either the birthday child nor the guests.

The polite thing to do IMO is to decline if it doesn't work for you.

How I don’t know how a second or subsequent child can have rigid nap times. I know my second didn’t- he had to fit in with his older brother’s nursery and meal times.

The hosts have decided on the time of the party, because it suits them as well as their child. You can decide to go - or tell them” it doesn’t work” for you.

I can see this time of 9 am being good for young families, but not perhaps for older relatives. I would have invited older relatives to come later in the day, eg in the afternoon. Personally, I don't understand this obsession with parties with older relatives invited, but that is just me. I think young children would cope better without crowds of people around.

I think the issue is not essentially about the early start, it’s more about everyone having to fit into a rigid schedule that’s right only for one person. Perhaps the schedule could have been changed for one day to a more suitable time. It’s about being overly child centred at the expense of everyone else. I think it’s a valid concern.

If you’re only 3/4 of an hour away, I don’t see what the problem is rather than upset the child’s routine, which may well make him/her crouchy on his/her birthday.

There are some quite unpleasant and negative views on this thread. I see why so many people find their parents and in laws hard to deal with! So judgemental about other’s parenting, I don’t expect opinions are hidden very well in some cases, either…

A couple of years ago we were invited to "Breakfast with Santa" with our three year old granddaughter, I think it was for 10am. So we got ourselves organised, stayed in a nearby hotel the night before, and had a great time.
As did our granddaughter, which was more to the point...

Set your alarm clock, get up and go, a breakfast party sounds fun - enjoy yourselves.

My son at that age was up at 4.45am in the morning. For a child's birthday it's lovely to start a birthday day off with family? I would go, enjoy, take part and then reflect in future years ! Children love family get-togethers, know that family is always there for the important times in their lives. Is it really that difficult to get up early for one important day? ?