To young to be an interest grandparent

If anyone is interested a quick google reveals it was Shirley Lady Porter, who went to Israel after the debacle.

There isn't a cap here.
Would they evict someone for getting a well paid job?

Tenancies can't pass through families here.

I didn't think there was an earning cap on social housing?

JaneJudge

I don't think people did make a mint. A lot of people paid rent for years. The concept itself is fine but they needed to be replaced, which they weren't and now we have ex council houses being rented out privately with not enough regulation for silly prices
These lot are much much worse than Mrs Thatcher

Well, I know one family who did. Gorgeous house, single row in the countryside. Backed onto fields. Sold to an elderly couple, both of whom who died within the next five years, allowing their DS to inherit.

There is good social housing provision in my village to satisfy local need, and the tenancies mainly pass through the family. The new ones, flats and houses tend to go to young parents with local connections as I realised when ridiculously young former pupils arrived at school to register their children.
No affordable houses for people who earned too much to qualify but not enough to afford the enormous deposit on a starter home.
Perhaps this young couple isn't as stupid as we all think: no home, forced to live between parental homes, no savings, unable to afford rent; they would be at the top of the list if they had grown up here.

Mrs Thatcher was trying to woo the population prior to an election. Does anyone remember the well known Lady ?who was head of Westminster council selling council homes for £1 ? A total scandal.
Can’t remember her name though.

JaneJudge

fwiw people in HA houses with secure tenancies are still allowed to buy their homes

Yes, they are.

The concept itself is fine but they needed to be replaced
Yes, the money should have been used to build more.

fwiw people in HA houses with secure tenancies are still allowed to buy their homes

I don't think people did make a mint. A lot of people paid rent for years. The concept itself is fine but they needed to be replaced, which they weren't and now we have ex council houses being rented out privately with not enough regulation for silly prices
These lot are much much worse than Mrs Thatcher

Where are all the council houses?
Long time passing,
where are all the council houses?
long time ago. ?
All the council houses got sold for a quid and none were replaced. We know a few people who made a mint when they resold fir the local going rate. The rest and those coming along after just lost out.
Thanks Mrs Thatcher ( not) .

Lomond
I know this is easier said than done but please put all plans on the back burner. An awful lot can happen between now and July. I won’t spell that out but I’m sure you get my meaning.

You say your son is ‘entitled’ and has had everything he has ever wanted do you think that could have something to do with him being too immature to leave home at the age of 20 ?He and the girlfriend are both full time workers but spend all their money on themselves does this fit in with him having had a life of entitlement (probably she has too)

The biggest gift you can give you son is to start taking rent and food money teaching him how to budget and how the cook, wash, clean

Do you not realise that you are feeling too young to be a grandmother because you had a child at 16 If you a had had a first child at the same age as your son 20+ you would have been a grandma in your 40 s The girlfriend is 21 so they are both old enough to be able to be a family but if they have both been spoilt throughout their childhood how can they suddenly come up to the mark
I do wish you luck I m not sure how it will pan out but I don’t think your bitterness towards the girlfriend is necessarily going to be helpful to anyone including yourself hopefully it’s just shock and disappointment and will pass with time

Yep.
I'm not sure where all these council houses are.

You'd think I'd know, really, wouldn't you?

A council house? I was on the list for 12 years, and that was with a child.

Surely they can rent a flat and put
names down for a council house. As your husband has a good job can you lend the some money to start them off?.

It's how you feel OP you are just being honest, you do not have old fashioned views.
Stick to your guns and let the girls Mother have her and the baby full time living with her.It was her desition to stop taking contraception. Saying that your son must step up too as it is his responsibility, but it is not yours.

Another one surprised you think son is too immature to leave home at 20. If not now - when?You say he's working, so presumably should be able to afford some kind of accommodation. If he did move out, on his own, and girlfriend stayed with her parents, they could work out whatever kind of shared parenting they wanted, but not in your house.

Why do they not stay full-time at her parent's house? I would rather have an unpleasant time saying they are not living here than put up with them all moving in for who knows how long.

It would make me very angry that their decision to have this child impacts so many other lives.

Is it coincidence that the thread beneath this one is entitled: 'Where have all the Dads gone?'

We were in this situation many years ago. My son was 21. They need to grow up fast ! I don’t know why your assuming he’s not mature enough to leave home? Our son left home into a very small rented house locally, they were both working full time with small wages. They managed, we bought them a washing machine a fridge and the odd bag of groceries here and there . By the time the baby was born they’d grown up beyond belief. Very hard to watch but so glad they survived. He’s a fantastic grandson, now grown up so very proud of them all.

I would be expecting this couple to find a rented flat of their own.
,I left school at 15 and left home, not to return, in the mid 60 s at 17 with no financial support from parents or anyone eise. I worked full time in London and lived in a bedsit with a greedy electric meter fir light and heat. My £5 wage didn’t last the whole week so when I ran out of money i had to into bed with a coat on to keep warm. This was an almost weekly thing. It was normal for me and everyone else who were doing the same.
I didn’t complain, it never crossed my mind that my parents should help with money and they never offered, I was independent and expected nothing.
Today’s youngsters have such high expectations of the expensive things they want, not need, the new kitchen/ bathroom, the particular brand clothes they buy, the area they have to live, fancy phones, holidays etc Etc. That’s fine if they did not expect their parents to stump up, and so we do. I am as guilty as anyone, but the first time my mum gave me any money at all was when I was 53.
Yes things are different now but do we not infantilise our adult
children by providing the things they want, not need, does that help them to stand on their own two feet? They are babied into their 30s, years after they reach adulthood. It does them no favours and does not let them learn how to manage what they have.
No doubt many will disagree with me, but how I lived as a young teenager, (I was not an adult til 21 ) was not unusual., many others did the same. We learned a lot about budgeting, the value of money and the pride of independence.

My son is in no place to leave the nest yet. Be it all he's going to be a father he has zero maturity to leave home at the moment.

Is there a reason for his 'zero maturity?

Are you expecting his girlfriend to live with her parents and the baby while your son stay with you?

You are entitled to think and feel however you want to.
Apart from your son's expectations and entitled views, is your house big enough to accommodate his new family? Did he actually ask you how you felt or if you would be ok with them living part time at your house? It seems one hell of an ask. It also sounds like you've got your hands full already.
It's so unfair in this day & age to 'expect' anything, everybody is struggling. I'm afraid I'd be saying 'if you're starting a family you need to take on the responsibilities too', it's not everyone's idea of fun having an extra person move in, not least with a baby.
I wouldn't want to lose my son but they've out themselves in this position, time to be adults. Let him move in with her parents & see how that works ?‍♀️, I think they're very niave. They can visit you xx

i did not expect to become a gran at anytime, my son is with a beautiful woman that has a child and she did not want anymore, 4 years ago they told me they were expecting, i said that is great but he/she will call me by my first name, now everytime i see that smile my heart just melts, the child is b right as a button but non verbal and probably autistic, i would give anything to hear them say gran. the choice with your grandchild is yours, does your husband feel the same? they will need to find a place of there own unless her mum is happy for the baby to stay full time. why can't you have another child if that is what you want? i think you might regret not wanting anything to do with the child and possibly loosing your son because of it. i have had 2 lots of cancer over the last 3 years and my grandchild is why is i keep fighting.