HOW WOULD YOU HANDLE THIS?

No .. sounds like 1984 ...

Totally agree Pepper.

Im sorry but the first time I'm ever in a house filled with cameras, would be my last. I'm not talking 'Ring doorbells' or baby monitors. There is something wrong when we need to monitor others movements 24/7. What happened to trust? What happened to privacy? This is controlling.

Using a baby monitor or going in now and again is different to a camera being in her room all the time.
Unless there is a good reason I would be seeking advice on this. I find it very disturbing.
My daughter's ex wanted to track his 11 year old movements when he is out with friends to make sure he was were he said he was. There was no particular reason for this. My daughter was shocked and told him not to. Children need some freedom to be themselves.

It is a bit strange but your DD is the mother and I would just go with it. Maybe your DGD does wake up distressed at night. Maybe she sleep walks. Maybe there is a concern about when your DD was a child that you are unaware of. It's not worth falling out about and if it is only in the bedroom it shouldn't. infringe much. My DGC had baby monitors (not video ones) when they were young. DGS2 still has his and he is 4. 8yo and 5yo no longer have them. DD2 has a Eufy door camera due to abusive ex (suggested by community police) and sometimes I forget as it records when you go in and out the outside doors and I have to remind myself not to talk to myself in the back garden when I hang washing out ?

Bluebelle lots of people have baby monitors? You don't know anyone who uses one? I feel like the o ly one ho didn't have a baby monitor. Most of them have cameras now.

I really don't see any reason to suggest the granddaughter will still have a camera in her room as a teen or won't be allowed friends!

I have read all the posts, some sympathising with mums point of view, but I still think it’s wrong.
A bedroom is a sanctuary to a child, however little they are, it’s their space
I would always tap the door before entering my childrens rooms, and do the same with my grandchildren.
I know it’s becoming common, some friends went to babysit their daughters dogs while they were away, and realised at some point that there were cameras everywhere, and they could be watched via their daughters phone, I don’t think they’ll be volunteering for that job again.
Back to our little girl, unless there is a reason we aren’t aware of, I think it’s a big invasion of her privacy.
I was trying to think how I would have felt, and although I don’t think I was doing anything naughty, it would have completely inhibited my imaginative play.

Violetsky I know a lot of young mums and grandmums and I ve never heard of this, so to say it’s standard today I think is a big overstatement (unless it’s a class thing and it’s a new trend with the well off)

If a mum is so anxious that she has to watch her child all the time even when they are asleep then she is suffering from a anxiety problem which will rub of on her children and she needs help

Does she have a camera in her classroom where much more harm could come to her ( bullying, being picked on, falling, injury) than sleeping in bed how on earth do they manage school without her watching

I don’t think the daughter has a problem with the grandparents care, I don’t think she is spying on them but she has a huge problem with her own parenting her own anxieties and she needs help

Will this be such a habit that when the kid is a teen in a few years time she ll be spying on her in her bedroom chatting to her mates ( if she’s allowed to have any ) poor poor child

Why are people making this a generational thing? I get that spy cameras weren’t available until fairly recently, but it’s the principle we’re talking about here, not just the actuality. At 7, my children knew that I would knock before going into their room if they were in it - it’s about respect, I think.

I do still wonder if it might be the child who wants her mummy to watch over her, and if that’s the case, fine. If she’s still feeling like this when she gets much older, I would be starting to get concerned though. Most children would have separated more than this by 7, I think, but they are all different. By 8 or 9, I’d be thinking there was a problem, but if the relationship is still difficult I’d maybe not push it. I wouldn’t allow cameras to be on me in my own home at any point though.

Yes, pics were not mentioned here - privacy is

Different generations clearly do not have the same definition to privacy

Again, cameras may only stream, excluding recording

Pure speculation on theoretical harm based on personal opinions of a different generation to the parent here (OPs daughter)

I'm not disrespecting my child's privacy by walking in and checking on him, soon enough he may not need/want that and I will respect his choice then. No reason to suggest this won't be the case with the camera.

Won't help OP have a good relationship with either daughter or granddaughter too

there's lots of ways to be a good parent

Hmmm.... and I'm not at all sure that removing all privacy from a child is good parenting. Even at 7 years old, a girl needs her privacy and dignity. Heaven knows what she'll be telling her counsellor in years to come.

It is a way bigger lack / breach of a privacy when a non parent/guardian posts pictures of a minor in the internet, without parents consent

Eh?? There's no mention of photos on Facebook in the OP is there? I don't understand what this has to do with the weirdness of having cameras aimed at a sleeping child all night?

Not allowing a child any privacy wouldn't top my list of good ways to parent.
My opinion, obviously, but I find it very weird.

"weird" in this case is an opinion not a fact MissA there's lots of ways to be a good parent

Filming a 7 year old is weird.
It doesnt sound at all healthy for the little girl.

This is quite standard these days, some people have cameras throughout the house.

Let her watch her daughter remotely, if that makes her comfortable for her daughter to stay overnight, then that's what you do.

You have a busy life but remember these are opportunities for you to spend quality time with the grandchild. If you view it as putting yourself out or doing a favour for your daughter then that makes it a transaction and feels like strings attached.

If this were not a normal behaviour, ie: she didn't use the camera at home, I'd say you were right to feel off about it but actually, this is normal life for her.

To have a good relationship you need to respect her rules, if you don't you will be seen as untrustworthy because she makes them as the parent.

Some parents are anxious, been there, still doing that but you can still be a great parent that doesn't suffocate children... My AC are pretty confident and resilient

Also you know, some children like the comfort of this, mum is there even if she isn't. I have a very tired little boy who brings himself down the stairs if I haven't gone up and given him a hug and turned his light off when he is ready to sleep.

Don't worry about it, enjoy time with your granddaughter, it's a new digital age

That's irrelevant Hithere. There's no mention of photos on the internet.

I'm not so sure about that.
I'd rather someone saw my face on social media than watched me in my bedroom.
Out of preference, neither, of course.

It is a way bigger lack / breach of a privacy when a non parent/guardian posts pictures of a minor in the internet, without parents consent.

Many grandparents are outraged when they are informed they cannot do it or called out

What a strange world for children if parents are doing this.
It's not right. Children should not be treated this way. Its an invasion of privacy to which everyone is entitled. Parents need to get a grip.

My son and d.I.l. also have this system. TBH, I only realised it, when I let my grandson stay up with me, past his bedtime. I thought it was a little treat for him. Then suddenly, I heard this voice “ S, why are you not in bed?” I nearly fell off the sofa. I think they have cameras in every room ?- of all the times I’ve been there, I had t noticed it. You’d think they’d tell me?

It sounds very unhealthy and its not normal for a child to be observed in this way and to never have any privacy

This. Frankly, it sounds rather sinister and creepy. Big Brother is watching.

Was your daughter abused as a child? Would you know if she was? You don't nessesarily know the full story here. I doubt your daughter is being nefarious, it's more likely that she's scared. You might find that fear irrational, and perhaps it is, but that's your daughter, instead of thinking badly of her why not allow some compassion, give her the benefit of the doubt etc?

maybe your daughter has anxiety issues.
i don't see it as intrusive into your home, as she does the same in her own home.
is she scared of intruders ?
if you really want to help the child, why don't you agree to it, so as to have the child come stay over with you.
if the home situation is unsettled, surely it would benefit her to have some more stable environment and less anxious adults around her, even if only occasionally.
i think you should put your GD's welfare first, and swallow your pride and dispute with your daughter.