HOW WOULD YOU HANDLE THIS?

Just realised it’s an old thread !

The issue is with the daughters behaviour which sounds like serious anxiety. There is a reason for this it might be deep rooted and difficult to come out but its the cause of insecurity.

It could affect the GC as parents moods can rub off and influence children’s behaviour. A serious rational talk with the daughter is long overdue don’t let it be passed off. If you mind your GC you are responsible for her welfare at the time it’s only fair you voice your opinion.

Old thread.
Wonder what happened?

No Way! Her house, her rules!

Just do it, if you want to have GD.

It is of course a bit weird, but she may simply be over-anxious. Unless she thinks you are planning a rave!

Hithere

Her daughter her rules

There could be a reason why your dd wants a cam, maybe it is the first sleep over and dd or gd is anxious

Not worth fighting it

Maybe, but in this case, it's the OP's house - so her house, her rules. I'd be putting my foot firmly down and telling her what to do with the camera!

Hithere

Her daughter her rules

There could be a reason why your dd wants a cam, maybe it is the first sleep over and dd or gd is anxious

Not worth fighting it

But also Nicolette2022's house, Nicolette2022's rules.

I can not see any reason a 7 year-old needs to be watched while in her room.

I do not think the camera at your house is a trust issue. If that were the case the cameras would only be at your house. I would not take it personally.

More concerning, IMO, is that the mother is allowing her child to have NO privacy. I would quietly dig into why that is.

It is my opinion that the ease of tracking and cameras has created an entire generation of helicopter moms. These kids are growing up not knowing how to do the simplest things for themselves. It is sad really.

Is this not a kind of abuse?? How long are the parents going to be using this camera in the child's room. What about when she undresses to get into pjs will she start to feel embarrassed as to who can see her as she gets a bit older. I think this is very wrong.

Sorry, above post meant for earlier comment. We used to look after GD several times a week whilst my daughter worked so it's especially insulting so will not be having her overnight whilst this camera is still a must. It doesn't sit right with us either and seems to be making her more anxious, particularly about being on her own. We will remain having her for the day only although this is becoming more and more of an issue. My daughter is so unpleasant to deal with that it is a source of great stress when doing drop off and pick up. I am not sure how much longer either of us can take and it tends to be a big grey cloud which hangs over the entire day as dropping GD off approaches.

Oh I think that would make things so much worse between us. I do see your point though.

My daughters have baby cams, and they are very useful. You can mute them easily too.. I have access to one of them, as one daughter has ME. I can keep an eye on things from 10 miles away, and raise the alarm if necessary. Particularly if her husband works away.

I do think 7 is generally too old, unless there are specific problems. However, they are her wishes, so you may have to go along with it. It’s just one night isn’t it? And you get to keep the relationship going.

I agree it is far too overprotective. However I would allow it and try and forget it is there and just behave as naturally as possible. If your DD sees all is well she will drop the camera after a few visits.

Your post says *A lot's been going on in their home" and I wonder if that's why your daughter is being so careful? Have there been problems with sleeping? perhaps even sleep walking? Perhaps if you agreed you could get closer to your daughter and what is really behind her anxiety.

If the only way I got to lay eyes on my gc was to agree to this scenario, I would do it.
It keeps your contact with your gc and reasonable relations with your daughter that enables that contact.
Personally I would like to understand why the camera was necessary in the first place but it doesn't seem like you're able to have that conversation with your daughter at the moment so would leave it for now.
At some point your gc will start to object.
If at that point your daughter doesn't remove the camera then you can help your gc navigate that.
For the sake of your relationship with your gc (which sounds really important to her) go along with this nonsense for now.
Good luck ?

*as others have said

Baby monitors - clue is “baby”. Age 7 seems old for monitoring and others have said, when will this stop? Interesting comments about sanctity of privacy, as surely many people who are now grandparents will have shared bedrooms when they were children. On balance I think is strange behaviour but then I tend to think it strange that some/many adults also feel the need to track partners/AC movements at all times.

Just go with the flow & make light of it.
It sounds like contact with you is essential for her, so do it for her. Best wishes .

This is very wrong. Why on earth would anyone monitor a healthy 7 year old this way? I would not agree to this surveillance.

This is not good! I would not agree to anything like that unless child had a severe medical reason. When will these parents stop spying on the grandchild I wonder. Child protection issue perhaps?

nadateturbe

It sounds very unhealthy and its not normal for a child to be observed in this way and to never have privacy.. I feel it will harm the little girl mentally. I would be seeking advice from Social Services.

I agree with this. It's very suspect behaviour and - I'll be shot down in flames for this - I feel it's approaching child abuse. Every child needs to know they have a private space which is theirs alone.

it is deprivation of someone's liberty to film them in their own bedroom without their consent

It is extremely unhealthy for you and the child. It bespeaks a lack of trust in you which should not co-exist with letting you care for the child at all. If I did not trust a grandparent I would never let the child be in their care at all. That is just common sense.

It is wrong to force you and the child to live in a panopticon as though you were prisoners or incipient criminals. It’s bad for the grandchild as well because it does not permit them any zone of safety or privacy and implies that all places not under the direct control of the mother are unsafe.

This is really bad. I hope you can get to the bottom of why your daughter is behaving so oddly.

I would just let her put the cameras there she obviously thinks it's in her daughters interest and if it settles her nerves whilst she's left then what harm does it cause. A few weeks she won't even check on them anymore. I know how intrusive it may make u feel but tbh we are always on camera somewhere or another. Xxxx

No way ... its not Big Brother or 1984 ..