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Grandparenting

disagreements over paddling pool

(38 Posts)
nuttylady Wed 20-Jul-22 08:53:34

I have 11 grandchildren coming over for the day on Sunday and 3 parents but one of the parents has said I'm not to put the paddling pool out as she doesn't want her children going in it in case any of the other children get too boisterous around her children. Her children are 2, 5, 7 and 10. the other children are 3, 5, 8, 8, 10, 11 and 11. One of the other parents has now kicked off saying if she don't want her kids in it then she can stay home. All i want is a whole day of fun, love and laughter. So, do i put the pool out or not put it out?

Spinnaker Wed 20-Jul-22 09:03:02

I'd put the paddling pool up if the weather's hot. Why should one adult spoil the summer pleasure of kids splashing around in the water. It might do her kids some good to have a bit of rough and tumble. Provided it's all supervised so that nothing gets out of hand it's all part of summer play and growing up.

MawtheMerrier Wed 20-Jul-22 09:05:11

Oh dear! Sounds very ungrateful or overprotective on the part of the parents - unless there’s a history?
How about two “sessions” -“under 8’s” and “8 and overs? “
On the other hand, you could pray for rain.

denbylover Wed 20-Jul-22 09:05:36

If it were me, and the weather warm, I would put the p.pool up. Tell the parent what you plan to do, then the choice is theirs. Why spoil the fun of the remaining children.

V3ra Wed 20-Jul-22 09:11:14

Put the paddling pool up to one side of the garden, if there's room, so there's space to play on the lawn as well.
Each parent can decide if their children are allowed to go in the pool or not ?
Have there been issues before with some of the "other" children being "too boisterous" for this parent's liking? ?

Elegran Wed 20-Jul-22 09:11:29

Tell her that 11 children without a way to enjoy themselves would be more of a danger than 11 children with a paddling pool.

Put it out, but near the seat where the objector is sitting. She can keep an eye on her darlings to make sure that no other child comes within an yard of them.

There won't be enough space in it for all 11. Can you put out a whole load of other containers filled with water, like buckets and bowls, with a collection of small plastic jugs, beakers, sieves etc etc, so that some of them can be safely playing there and avoid the mayhem at the pool?

Have plenty of towels available!! And warn everyone to bring spare dry clothes. Have shade, too. Water cools them down so that they don't notice they are getting sunburnt.

Kim19 Wed 20-Jul-22 09:12:03

Do what YOU want and are happy with.

dogsmother Wed 20-Jul-22 09:17:23

My home, my rules. Please don’t be bullied.

Oopsadaisy1 Wed 20-Jul-22 09:22:32

Unless it’s a huge pool 11 children would be unsafe, why not split their time into sessions ?

Under 5s for 20 minutes
7-9 for 20 minutes
Over 9’ s for 20 minutes

You could have a hose with the sprinkler on for the ones that aren’t in the pool.

Obviously they all have to be supervised anyway so there shouldn’t be any fights.

Stick to small pool toys, not huge inflatable hammers that they can clout each other with. (saw this recently at a relatives house, 2 children + huge toys =lots of tears).

Elegran Wed 20-Jul-22 09:28:43

Lots of policing needed for keeping the right children to the right shifts, Oopssadaisy, and tears from those hauled out of the pool. Several water stations, widely separated, with smaller ones directed to different places from the bigger ones. An adult or two also playing and keeping a bit of order would be useful. Enroll some Dads for that.

Shelflife Wed 20-Jul-22 09:30:20

Put the pool out! 11 GC coming , what a great gesture from you. I agree with the parent who said " if she does ' nt like it she can stay at home "

Smileless2012 Wed 20-Jul-22 09:32:17

If this parent doesn't want their children to be in a garden with other children and a paddling pool, the don't need to come do they.

If it were me nuttylady, I would tell them that there's going to be a paddling pool and if they decide not to come you'll understand.

Oopsadaisy1 Wed 20-Jul-22 09:37:27

Elegran give them cake, or a small treat when their time is up, there should be plenty of adults around to police it.

Like being at school, blow a loud whistle and shout ‘everybody out’ (actually that was Miriam Karlin in The Rag Trade)

Beautful Wed 20-Jul-22 09:38:29

Families !!!

Your decision ... shame to spoil the day because of 1 person ... tell her you are putting it up if the weather is nice ... her decision whether to come or not then , you have told & pre warned her what you intend to do ... your home not hers !!! As long as the children are not left outside alone with the pool & are supervised at all times ... thats the main thing ... Enjoy your day

Beautful Wed 20-Jul-22 09:42:34

Oopsdaisy1 !

Brilliant idea ... about a whistle ... or even a loud voice ... may be even better to sort them into age groups so not over powering for the younger ones ... either way ... ENJOY ...

Jaxjacky Wed 20-Jul-22 09:48:13

11 GC’s and 3 parents, you’re brave.

Urmstongran Wed 20-Jul-22 09:53:41

Good sensible advice Maw!

Riverwalk Wed 20-Jul-22 10:02:59

Paddling pool in the street!

Photo of Leeds in today's New York Times grin

Baggytrazzas Wed 20-Jul-22 10:49:50

Is there space for a second pool so that everyone who wants to be in can be and the youngest can be in one ? 4 in one pool, the other 7 in the other, if they all want to go in at once which they might not? No need for timed sessions.

HowVeryDareYou Wed 20-Jul-22 10:55:59

Put the paddling pool up. The mother sounds over-protective. Is there any way you could have a small pool for the youngest? Otherwise, let each group in age have timed sessions.

wildswan16 Wed 20-Jul-22 10:58:50

Just put the pool out. If anyone doesn't like it they can go home taking their disappointed children with them.

No need for complicated timed sessions. Children need to learn how to play together sensibly - and they usually do.

They aren't all going to be in at one time, they'll be running in and out and playing other stuff too. If it stays hot the grown-ups will probably be in it too.

BigBertha1 Wed 20-Jul-22 11:09:07

nuttylady I hope I don't offend you by saying you have given them too much choice. its your house if you want to put the paddling pool out and half of Chipperfields Circus its up to you. Don't tell them in advance of your plans.

Callistemon21 Wed 20-Jul-22 11:20:26

11 children in a paddling pool?

It could get a bit overcrowded and I can't see the water staying in it for long.

Do you have a garden sprinkler? Ours used to love dashing in and out of the moving spray. It could involve lots of squealing, though.

Mine Wed 20-Jul-22 13:47:35

Put your paddling pool out before family come I'm sure your family will sort it out among themselves no matter what grandparents suggest...Great idea bout the sprinkler.....

MissAdventure Wed 20-Jul-22 13:52:25

Of course children will be boisterous.
Any child getting too lairy can be taken out of the pool for a bit.

Some families have 11 or more siblings.