Kissing grandchildren?

It does make you wonder how we managed to survive doesn't it and raise our own children to adulthood.

I'm with you, Fleurpepper. And I wonder what happens with baby number 2? How do these super-anxious parents cope with a toddler or young child in the house alongside the newborn? How do you avoid the baby getting all the germs from the older child(ren)?
Or is this super anxiety only a first time thing?
I really find it OTT, but of course don't say a word and go along with it with a smile!

VioletSky

Phillipa babies put fret in their mouths, they touch their heads and pit fingers in mouths...

This is why you also wash your hands before holding a baby and don't let them put their hands in your mouth.

You can transfer 2 million germs kissing a little foot

Rather over the top

How many germs are on sofas, cushion etc in/on play equipment at baby sensory classes etc?

My daughter gave birth 14 weeks ago and had a very traumatic birth both her and our beautiful first and only grandchild had to stay in hospital for 5 days and during this time the well meaning but persistent nursing staff have lots of advise on not kissing babies due to the herpes virus and sudden infant death syndrome consequently my daughter who is 37 and a professional has been terrified of something untoward happening to her precious daughter.
At first I thought she was OTT but I now understand this and it is her baby and her rules times have changed significantly since I and lots of you lovely grandparents gave birth.

Oh FGS!

Good post GrannyGravy.

Phillipa babies put fret in their mouths, they touch their heads and pit fingers in mouths...

This is why you also wash your hands before holding a baby and don't let them put their hands in your mouth.

You can transfer 2 million germs kissing a little foot

Everyone, just to re-iterate, I was not talking about kisses on the face! Maybe a peck on her gorgeous head of one one of her feet.... literally nothing that was going to be a big deal!
Anyway we've not kissed her at all, but I have had delightful playtime with her, gooing at her and getting lovely smiles in return so all is goo.

There are generational differences to every facet of life. I don't see a difference, in the OP, to how I raised my children (eldest 60). All in what makes the mum and dad comfortable.

DillytheGardener

Madgran77 my thoughts too. There are generational differences but I think there are also many things that are universal to all mums, such as the panic of being given your first born and being overwhelmed with their vulnerability and reliance on you to make sure you make the right decisions and keep them safe.

Exactly. I have no idea why "huge generational differences" needed commenting on really. There are generational differences in lots of yhings but also many "huge" similarities!

I’m a bit OCD about cleanliness. I absolutely would insist on a child washing their hands after using the bathroom, and before eating. We also routinely wash our hands when returning home from anywhere else, and we like visitors to do likewise, but don’t insist.

We are a tactile family, lots of hugs and kisses whatever age.

I would not kiss a baby or GC of any age on the lips. Nothing wrong with kissing their heads, cheeks or that beautiful sweet spot of a newborn’s neck ❤️?

If one of our DiLs had requested no kissing we would have abided by her rules.

Sago I’m definitely not ocd about cleaning, but I did ensure my children washed their hands after using the bathroom. That story made me feel a bit sick ??

I don't remember kissing my grandchildren when they were young. Lots of cuddles, certainly, but no kissing.
I think it's sensible to do what the parents want; it's their baby after all, and you want to keep the peace.

We had neighbours who were OCD when it came to their children and hygiene.
We were BBQ ing at their home one summer when their youngest child of about 5 begged to use the porta loo that was for the builders who were working on an extension for them, they were so particular the workmen were not allowed to use the lavatory in the house.
The parents relented and in he went, came out and continued to play, suddenly mum screamed out “stop you can’t have washed your hands”
The darling child to our joy said “ It’s fine I licked them clean”????

Madgran77 my thoughts too. There are generational differences but I think there are also many things that are universal to all mums, such as the panic of being given your first born and being overwhelmed with their vulnerability and reliance on you to make sure you make the right decisions and keep them safe.

Hithere

Another huge generational difference

Another huge generational difference

To answer: yes it's normal not allowing babies to be kissed by non-birth-family.

I think we can lay to rest the whole "babies need socialization" argument. Babies do not need to be around anyone other than parents for socialization in the first year.

www.babycenter.com/baby/baby-development/developmental-milestones-socialization_6576

This is absolutely about kissing a baby, not being over protective.

Pippa000

My grand son was infected with the cold sore virus as a baby and spent 9 months in hospital three of those on life support when he has suffered from complete systems failure and was put on the emergency liver transplant list. So kissing any child under a year is not advisable

What a terrible experience for all of you. I hope he is fully recovered.?

How awful Pippa poor little mite... and poor parents and family.

Good post Violet. I think those who say the children will be insecure or unsociable are missing the point of the benefits of great interaction from primary caretaker from birth.

My grand son was infected with the cold sore virus as a baby and spent 9 months in hospital three of those on life support when he has suffered from complete systems failure and was put on the emergency liver transplant list. So kissing any child under a year is not advisable

Actually, in the first year, babies don't need to socialise outside of immediate family at all, the first year is when babies develop a secure attachment to their primary caregivers and if they only spend the first year with a single parent they won't be harmed at all as long as the parent is engaged.

That's also the time they are focused on physical development.

At about 6 or 7 months they may not want to be held by anyone except their primary caregivers, this is completely normal.

At about 1 year they may experience some separation anxiety, also completely normal. They are old enough to really focus on play with other children or adults then and if they have a secure attachment to a parent they will look to them to ensure new people and situations are safe.

Having family around in the first year is great but the focus should be the primary caregiver/s and a baby certainly doesn't need kisses from others to socialise.

The kissing is a bit off the point, the over protective parents are the point. It doesn’t matter if the baby is kissed or not, but it matters if the parents are too over protective.

My children are all adults now. My dad was never one for kissing and hugging them (or anyone else for that matter). It certainly didnt effect his relationship with them. He was kind and gentle and they were all very attached to him. In fact when he was very old and had dementia (they were grown up at this point) they all helped cared for him and were with him holding his hand when he died. Whether he had kissed them or not when they were children didnt matter at all.