Granddaughter showing preference for other grandmother and ignoring me

I think you are being a bit precious. The other grandmother is there for 2 months, you "have" your granddaughter for the rest of the time. Maybe the cheery disposition is the key as to why your GD is enjoying time with her other grandmother and no doubt the visiting grandmother will be enjoying her time with her granddaughter for the brief time she is there. I'm sure when things are back to you being the only grandmother present your relationship will return to how it was. However, as your granddaughter gets older you do need to realize that she will spread her wings and you will need to share her more. does not mean she loves you any less, just that the dynamics of life have changed.

Where Flora said she doesn’t know what’s happening to her girl, I knew the moment that I read it that there would be comments picking that sentence apart. So, as that sentence has already been put under the microscope I’ll give my two cents and hopefully someone will hesitate from derailing this thread into another episode of ‘let’s assume the absolute worst of the original poster and then criticize them for it’.

Coming at this from a reasonable standpoint, Flora clearly said “my girl” as a term of endearment, as her dilemma has to do with the striking difference that she sees in her granddaughter, her granddaughter suddenly behaving in a way that is far from her normal, so there is “her girl” that she knew very well and now there is what appears to be another girl in her place who acts much differently than before. Hence Flora saying she doesn’t know what’s happening to her granddaughter. Of course, the change in behavior is completely normal as the girl wants to make the most of the limited time she has with this particular grandmother.

The unreasonable way to interpret the quoted sentence, the way that scolds Flora for her innocent choice of words to total strangers on the internet (and therefore comes with no baggage or existing hard feelings to give rise to the offense that an unreasonable people will experience after reading it), so the way that has already happened in this thread and will continue on I’m sure, assumes that Flora (or anyone else who says anything like “my [insert person]”) meant with 100% certainty that her granddaughter is HER girl and not anyone else’s girl, and definitely not the other grandmothers girl, that Freda is the sole rightful owner of her granddaughter and therefore no one else can have her. This manner of interpretation also comes along with years of off-putting rigidity, cold and calculated critics, and silently mouthed behind-the-back apologies on behalf of their loved ones for having to expose others to such a lovely person. .

Not every bit of phrasing needs to be dissected as if an alien would upon its strict by-the-letter understanding of the English language; ie without any nuance whatsoever.

Flora, I’m sorry you’re hurting. No need to worry though as she is still the girl you know her to be, and it’s good for her to connect with her other grandmother. It’s her trying to fit all the fun times she has with you year round into a small two month period with the grandmother she doesn’t get to see much. Be happy for her and most importantly support her, ask her how seeing her long distance grandma was, what was her favorite part of the visit, etc. She will be very thankful for it.

And remember, “This too shall pass”.

I understand why you would feel upset. However it is completely natural for your granddaughter to want to spend time with her other grandparent, who she does not see as often as she sees you.

I would recommend that you work through these feelings now because, as we know with teens, she will start to move away from family as center of her universe to friends as the center of her universe. You will be left behind more often.

Please do not make her feel guilty about this, even if it is not intentional.

I understand how you are feeling, but try to distract yourself with other enjoyable things until the other GM leaves. My son and his wife spend a lot of time with her family and their girls love them. Sometimes it's hard for me, but I love my son and I know he loves me. When I'm with his young girls, we have a wonderful time and they tell me they love me. My feelings of being left out of that other part of their life is sometimes painful but I don't want to burden them or my son with how I sometimes feel. I'm fortunate to have other children and their children to also love and enjoy.

Your gd is NOT your girl.

This is not a competition, please do not make it so

Also, presents do not have agendas attached to them - you gave her a phone or a phone for her to call you?
Those are two very different things - the former is ok, the latter is wrong

Don't be upset about this of course your GD is excited about a visit from a GM from Australia!! Take a step back and leave your GD to be with her other GM - this must be a very precious time for them. Things will settle down when the visit is over. I don't want to sound harsh but you are really overacting about this , your GD is the child here not you ! You say you are ' utterly sad about what is happening with my girl ' She is not your girl she is your GD. All that is happening with your GD is very normal - she is thrilled to be with a GM she hardly sees. Please give her privacy and space to spend time with her GM . You won't lose her ,I hope you begin to feel more positive and less sidelined. I wish you well , be happy for her and smile ☺️ all will be well.

She has the advantage of being a novelty and perhaps seems a bit "exotic", but as others have said she will soon be hundreds of miles away and your normal relationship with your granddaughter can resume, as long as you keep your feelings to yourself

Awww FloraRose you sound so upset.
I'm sure things will settle back down again when the other grandma returns to Australia.

Try to pin a smile on your face for now and don't take it to heart.
Maybe take a step back and don't go on so many of the outings, let your granddaughter have some 1:1 time with her other grandma.

This lovely lady's time with your shared granddaughter is brief, so be glad for them both that they can enjoy each other's company for a few short weeks.

No child will respond to the sense of ownership you demonstrate, and you will experience more hurt if you expect so much. Love her and enjoy her and your relationship will flourish; anything else and you will damage what you have. You may feel hurt and excluded but as long as the child is not actively rude you are best off saying nothing and leaving her mother to do any necessary talking. And sadly she is not your girl.

It’s a fascination with something new. Someone different to talk to. A grandparent who hasn’t been seen for ages and suddenly appears. Please don’t take it to heart. I know you’re upset but the other grandma will be gone soon and the novelty will wear off.

Im not being harsh but I assume that the other GM is going back to Oz ? So if you bide your time and just try to keep the relationship ticking over your relationship will hopefully return to as it was shortly . We can all be guilty of being swept along by the novelty of a seemingly more interesting visitor from afar . Just take a back seat for a while and be careful . I hope your relationship soon evolves into a new special bond .

I think you’re overthinking this and taking it far too much to heart. If her other grandmother lives in Australia and she doesn’t see her often it’s a novelty, so of course she will want to spend more time with her, and it’s nice for them to have time to bond. Don’t be jealous, or at least don’t show it, or you may permanently damage your relationship with her. There’s nothing wrong with her being close to both her grans.