How often do you see you grandchildren

I have a lot of grandchildren. I try and spend time and see them regularly but I was diagnosed with MS last year after four years of debilitating symptoms. I’m in a lot of pain everyday, my mobility has been effected and I’m tired. I’m currently in the middle of intensive neurological rehabilitation. So it’s been very difficult to have the same relationship I used to with my grandkids and children. I used to provide some childcare for the older ones while my kids worked or studied. Days out, babysitting. I loved it. But I’m now unable to do much actual caring as I’m in need of a lot of care myself. I struggle to even lift my youngest. It’s been heartbreaking for me and I’m receiving therapy.

One of my daughters has really tore into me this week. She had to give her job up because she said she didn’t have the kind of childcare she wanted. Her mil had her baby one day a week and her partner had baby the other day. But she jacked her job in on the Monday as baby kept her awake all night and she’s tired. I think (as she won’t actually say) that she wanted me to take baby overnight so she could get a good sleep then mind baby all next day till after her shift. I just physically cannot do it.

She said I don’t make an effort to see them, I’m not present enough when I am with them.

I actually see them around twice a week. More than I get to see my other grandchildren.

It’s been a tough cycle of this with my daughter for many years even before she had her baby. Something goes wrong in her life, I somehow get the blame, she’s then disrespectful and nasty. Then she expects me to forget anything ever happened. It’s exhausting and really damaging our relationship.

What does your relationship with your grandchildren look like? How often do you see them and what do you do together?

Thanks I’m just feeling guilty and not sure if I’m being unreasonable.