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Grandparenting

Grandchild's Christmas Presents

(18 Posts)
Dalfie5577 Mon 26-Dec-22 21:02:43

Yesterday, Christmas day, my grandson opened a present from me and Mr D and his mother, our DIL, said 'Oh he's already got one exactly the same as this he might as well leave it here' ie our house.
Firstly I was taken aback as I was always taught to say thank you enthusiastically/politely even I already had the same gift or indeed didn't like it - ie good manners.
And secondly I have been asking since September, with nothing forthcoming, for present ideas as kiddies already have so much these days and I didn't want this exact scenario to happen!
I didn't know how to respond to her without sounding rude.
What would you have said in the same situation?

Hithere Mon 26-Dec-22 21:45:33

"I am happy to exchange for anything that you might need"
"Here is the receipt, just in case you want to get him anything else "

Fleurpepper Mon 26-Dec-22 21:49:35

Just so incredibly rude!

Sallywally1 Mon 26-Dec-22 21:56:04

Being. A Wimp who hates conflict I would probably have smiled sweetly and said what a good idea (whilst fuming inside).

I wonder why people are so rude nowadays? It seems to be getting worse

Norah Mon 26-Dec-22 21:57:29

"Oh, I'm sorry. Here is the £50 cost. Save or buy something different."

Dalfie5577 Mon 26-Dec-22 21:58:53

Sallywally1 that is EXACTLY how I felt and reacted!

Glorianny Mon 26-Dec-22 21:59:57

How old is your grandson? Perhaps leave it this year but begin negotiations with him about presents and cut out your DIL. Most children now know what they want and will tell you.

VioletSky Mon 26-Dec-22 22:04:25

I'd have suggested I return it and offered to take him out to lunch and a little shopping spree together

OnwardandUpward Mon 26-Dec-22 22:34:47

Always a good idea to keep reciepts for that reason.

Good idea. It is unfair when parents won't tell you what to buy. I had that happen on my GC's last birthday. The thing I asked them if they wanted, they made a point of buying and then didn't help me out. What I decided to do from now on is buy some small gifts and give money. I had these ready on Christmas day in case I should be blessed with their presence.

I was not.

silverlining48 Mon 26-Dec-22 22:47:56

Small gift and money is the way for me.
They love getting g money. Well my two do.

LOUISA1523 Mon 26-Dec-22 22:47:59

Its plain rude...I would try to be the bigger person....but probably fail miserably and say something

cornergran Mon 26-Dec-22 22:59:10

Your reaction is understandable, it was at the least tactless of the adult.

I think the suggestion of a trip out for lunch and shopping is an excellent one. It worked well with two of our grandchildren until they became teenagers when their wishes were beyond our budget and they became very happy to receive a cash gift as a contribution along with a couple of small wrapped surprises to ensure there was something to open.

We still go out for a lunch before Christmas , a bit of a grandparent tradition we all enjoy.

PaperMonster Tue 27-Dec-22 11:29:55

I don’t think you’re a wuss saying what you did. I think that was the best option and I don’t think parent was being rude not getting back to you - probably got a million and one things on the go. My daughter does a present list - then Grandmother doesn’t want to buy anything from it because the things on the list aren’t bloomin worthy enough. Just try a different approach next year. No probs!

Judy54 Tue 27-Dec-22 17:00:22

One of our Nephew's when he was younger opened our gift and threw it on the floor saying " I have already got one of those". To which I replied "Well now you have got two". Have to say he has grown into a delightful Man and helps us out in lots of ways.

ParlorGames Tue 27-Dec-22 17:04:23

I would have had to bite my tongue very hard.......! Next year, buy a small gift so there's a pressie to unwrap and give the balance in cash....sorted!

Bridgeit Tue 27-Dec-22 17:15:50

Tell them that instead of giving presents , you will save for or open an account for them to access when they are old enough to do so. Best wishes

Forsythia Tue 27-Dec-22 17:19:25

Buy him Premium Bonds instead. Or,ask your son what his child would like for Christmas rather than your DIL.

Dalfie5577 Tue 27-Dec-22 19:25:46

Thank you all for your sound advice and responses. I think next year I will go down the small gift and money route - unless I'm advised differently of course!
Just a little footnote: my grandson, who is four years old, upon hearing his mother's comments said to me 'I wanted two of those Nanny!` . . . Can't little children be wonderful sometimes? smile