Missing grandaughter so much

Smileless2012

^9 pages of supposition about the mother here^ really!!! We know from the OP that this father has missed a child support payment and as a consequence is unable to see his 5 year old D.

Supposition is a belief held without proof or certain knowledge; an assumption or hypothesis and posts of that nature have been made about the father, not the mother.

Supposition is a belief held without proof or certain knowledge

Exactly - you have no idea if the mother is “using the child as a weapon” because you have no idea what the history is here, or what has gone on in the past.

You assume the mother is “using the child as a weapon”, but on the information the OP provided about the extent she enables contact to take place between her son and his daughter, I see this a “straw that broke the camel’s back” type situation.

Why is my viewpoing “supposition” and invalid, whilst yours is not?

9 pages of supposition about the mother here really!!! We know from the OP that this father has missed a child support payment and as a consequence is unable to see his 5 year old D.

Supposition is a belief held without proof or certain knowledge; an assumption or hypothesis and posts of that nature have been made about the father, not the mother.

Smileless2012

Those who feel in cases like this that a child is being used as a weapon are expressing their point of view, just as those who disagree are doing.

The supposition on this thread is found in the disparaging comments made about the father.

I’ve read 9 pages of supposition about the mother here, and very offensive comments, however, only when people start to question the father’s role, and comment about his role in the situation, do those comments become “supposition” and disparaging”.

Hilarious!

Those who feel in cases like this that a child is being used as a weapon are expressing their point of view, just as those who disagree are doing.

The supposition on this thread is found in the disparaging comments made about the father.

Why do you think the mother stopped contact?

I’ve already tried to provide an alternative to the ”using her child as a weapon” viewpoint, but apparently any viewpoint that doesn’t demonise the mother is ”going off into supposition” and therefore invalid, and despite 9 prior pages of supposition about the mother’s intentions, only when someone tries to provide an alternative, less offensive viewpoint to “women think they have the whip hand and aren't afraid to crack it even if it hurts their child.”, only then is it supposition. Hilarious!

If you have one ounce of integrity and honesty

That is really a bit much.

Rosie51

And yet again VS uses "lol". Amazing what makes you "laugh out loud" I see only sadness for a little girl, her daddy and her grandmother, but you do you.

Laughing at the comments of others or my own jokes, not OP and not the child

Please don't come at me with your perception of who I am when we both know you are just trying to score points and there are no prizes here

And again it is you doing it, we know nothing of Mum and OP to her credit hasn't described her grandchild as an object

And yet again VS uses "lol". Amazing what makes you "laugh out loud" I see only sadness for a little girl, her daddy and her grandmother, but you do you.

But no one knows that about mum.

Lovely grandma has been doing the majority of the work here and she deserves credit for it, not Dad.

Perhaps mum is tired of shenanigans and Dad not being able to take care of those responsibilities himself

It's a reasonable conclusion from OPs words

Also the determination to call children objects doesn't reflect well and is very off putting

Shenanigans indeed!

VioletSky

I have more concern for a person who sees a child as a chess piece in a struggle between them and another

Again, it is the person saying it who sees the child as an object and is expressing that

There must be a better way

The one using the child is the mother. See my post of 01.19 28 and tell me why the weekend visit was stopped. Safeguarding or punishment? Has to be one or the other!

The shenanigans are indeed non stop lol

GG65 Why do you think the mother stopped contact? Was it because she suddenly thought daddy and grandmother were safeguarding risks? Or was it to "punish" dad for a missed child support payment? If you have one ounce of integrity and honesty you'll admit it was the latter which is using her child's access to her father as a weapon.

I have more concern for a person who sees a child as a chess piece in a struggle between them and another

Again, it is the person saying it who sees the child as an object and is expressing that

There must be a better way

GG65

Rosie51

the mother is “using her child as a weapon”. It is so blatantly obvious that the child IS being used as a weapon. Do you really assert that the child has been consulted on this, that the child has agreed "if daddy doesn't pay I don't want to see him or granny"? The mother is making this call, she alone is responsible for denying her daughter access to the daughter's father and grandmother. She is abusing her own child for revenge.

So, now the mother is an abuser?

Yes if she denies her child's wish for contact with her father and grandmother. What would you call this blocking of contact? There is no suggestion the "no contact" is child suggested.

No. I’m serious. These are my first posts in over a year. I truly forgot the shenanigans are NON STOP.

GG65

Now I remember why I haven’t posted on here in over a year.

Non. Stop. Shenanigans. 🤣 😴

The last refuge of those who have no reasonable reply.

Rosie51

^the mother is “using her child as a weapon”.^ It is so blatantly obvious that the child IS being used as a weapon. Do you really assert that the child has been consulted on this, that the child has agreed "if daddy doesn't pay I don't want to see him or granny"? The mother is making this call, she alone is responsible for denying her daughter access to the daughter's father and grandmother. She is abusing her own child for revenge.

So, now the mother is an abuser?

Now I remember why I haven’t posted on here in over a year.

Non. Stop. Shenanigans. 🤣 😴

the mother is “using her child as a weapon”. It is so blatantly obvious that the child IS being used as a weapon. Do you really assert that the child has been consulted on this, that the child has agreed "if daddy doesn't pay I don't want to see him or granny"? The mother is making this call, she alone is responsible for denying her daughter access to the daughter's father and grandmother. She is abusing her own child for revenge.

Callistemon21

^Perhaps you can redirect your message to the appropriate person.^

I did.
🙂

No, sorry, you haven’t.

Why are you singling me out for making suppositions, when all I did was provide an alternative to a disgusting supposition that has gone completely unchallenged by you, that the mother is “using her child as a weapon”.

GG65

Callistemon21

I could imagine maybe again

I can imagine all kinds of scenarios but how does that help the OP?

How does it help the OP to be told her DIL is using her granddaughter as a weapon?

Withholding her daughters contact with her father is using her daughter as a weapon. Do you imagine for one second the daughter has been asked "if daddy doesn't pay child support do you want to not see him and granny?"

Perhaps you can redirect your message to the appropriate person.

I did.
🙂

Callistemon21

^I could imagine^ maybe again

I can imagine all kinds of scenarios but how does that help the OP?

How does it help the OP to be told her DIL is using her granddaughter as a weapon?

Callistemon21

GG65

maybe Maybe

Maybe is supposition. We don't know any of that.

Yes, we do only know one side of the story but better to stick to the facts as we know them as Yvonne asked for advice.

Advice was given at the beginning and now this is going off into suppositio and fantasy.

Was this message meant for me?

I seem to remember that @icanhandthemback kicked off the suppositions on page 1 when she proposed the idea the mother was “using her daughter as a weapon”. I simply offered alternatives to that supposition.

Perhaps you can redirect your message to the appropriate person.