Missing grandaughter so much

The child needs to eat regardless of if he has a job or not. Teach him to be an adult and take responsibility for his child. If he doesn’t work, then he can sell something.

The child need to eat regardless of he is has a job or not.

Oh well, gotta keep the brain and conscience well oiled lol

Germanshepherdsmum

I can’t believe posters are still slugging out their views on fairy stories like exhausted boxers. It’s unbelievable. Ffs just let it be.

Quite.

"Estrangement Bingo" - fill in the usual spots!

I can’t believe posters are still slugging out their views on fairy stories like exhausted boxers. It’s unbelievable. Ffs just let it be.

Of course Smileless

I do not agree and I think it's in OPs interests to hear different views

Yes I know VS you've said so several times, but when I think it's appropriate to refer to children as being used as weapons I will do so.

This thread is becoming unnecessarily combative and unnecessarily personal.
I founds The suggestion from VioletSky that disagreements be resolved in pm’s (my words) surprising. I’ve read about posters receiving unpleasant pm’s and that was my initial response. Why continue issues in pm?

Passive aggressive lol’s and have a nice day at the end of posts that clearly don’t intend to cause laughter or nice days add nothing positive to discussions.

Smileless2012

It's your post @ 18.05 "which was very obviously about my personal experience" VS that I responded too.

Yes I was answering you Smileless, I forget to put names in at times but again it was you who brought up your personal situation to me

I really don't agree with describing children as objects and I really don't think it is healthy for you to view it that way

Hopefully those children are happy and supported well by the adults around them

It's your post @ 18.05 "which was very obviously about my personal experience" VS that I responded too.

Smileless2012

Yeah I get that 1yleLyle, what I don't get is why you keep telling people that you're not interested and you don't want to interact with them, when you're interacting by telling them so.

No one has suggested that the OP tell her son that the mother of the child is using her as a weapon VS. No one has suggested that the OP tell the mother of her GD that's she's using her as a weapon. I and others have expressed our opinion that that is what she is doing.

I don't regard our GC as objects but have, and will always say that those children have been used as weapons by our ES and his wife.

Smileless it started here, I'm responding to you

I didn't say it was inappropriate to talk about it, I said it's quite different, am happy to talk to you about it

I responded to your post @ 18.05 VS which was very obviously about my personal experience, so if you don't think it appropriate to talk about my situation on this thread, don't comment on my situation yourself.

Obviously your situation is not the same as OPs Smileless so what you feel about yours cannot be applied here

I think it would be healthier for you not to do that

There is not much to be gained for you from guessing a strangers motives

The relationship wasn't broken until they broke it VS and it's not a matter of assigning the worst possible motives. It is what it is and the circumstances of our estrangement are well documented here on GN as you well know.

We are not alone in having our family torn apart by the coercive control of an AC's partner, it happens all the time unfortunately.

If someone genuinely believed they had to estrange in order to protect their children, they wouldn't put in writing just a couple of months before doing so that they would never stop you from seeing your GC, because they know how much you love them.

That's so true DiamondLily and you have to be estranged by the child you love and as a result lose your only GC to understand the emotional devastation that brings.

Yes, people adapt to loss and no, it isn't easy but regardless of how well you adapt, the loss never goes away.

I think, like most things, you have to "be it to see it". Until you have become a grandparent, you don't really understand the emotional pull or how the relationship should be.

Of course, people adapt to loss, but it isn't easy.

Glorianny,

You keep mentioning having the last word. Clearly it’s a priority for you.

lyleLyle

Glorianny,

I am not sure what the point of your interactions with me are at this point. It’s clear you don’t either, hence the observation of your replies being a compulsion. Your replies are a choice. You have other choices, one being to ignore. You choose otherwise as if you simply can’t help yourself. That’s compulsion. Have a nice day!

It takes two you know. And I think my earlier observation about the last word was spot on. Still I do hope you understand now tha tall my posts are not for you.

VioletSky

Furniture happiness is probably not as important as future happiness

Oh let's have happy furniture as well there is too muh misery in the worrld and a happy sofa could be comforting

Glorianny,

I am not sure what the point of your interactions with me are at this point. It’s clear you don’t either, hence the observation of your replies being a compulsion. Your replies are a choice. You have other choices, one being to ignore. You choose otherwise as if you simply can’t help yourself. That’s compulsion. Have a nice day!

Furniture happiness is probably not as important as future happiness

I think when you are at a stage where you can't communicate well, you don't really know the person any more. That leads to assigning motives that might not be there

You might be thinking your grandchildren have been weaponised (I still dont like that or think its healthy but hey ho) against you

They might be thinking that they are protecting their children from having any part in a broken relationship with people they cannot get along with.

Most people who estrange feel right to do so. Whether you agree they are right or how you feel about it doesn't change that at all, they felt strongly enough to walk away.

If you are looking to assign the worst possible motives to their decisions, it won't help resolve things with them and when you move past a place of wanting resolution, it won't help you to hold on to motives you cannot be sure of, that can only hurt you now... your opinions of their motives can't hurt them or impact them, they stopped hearing you.

So maybe some things need to be let go of, for yourself. It has nothing to do with them, it's your life and potential for furniture happiness that matters now

lyleLyle

Glorianny,

I am as indifferent toward whomever you are as I am your opinions on the OP. The only narcissistic behavior I see here is someone whom I never initiated a conversation with compulsively replying to everything I say, attempting to force debate on a disinterested other party. You are a random stranger on the internet. There is literally nothing you can assume or think about me that will be of any consequence whatsoever. Have a great day

lyleLyle if I am replying to you I will always quote the post I am replying to. If I am posting generally I will just post. I do hope that helps clear up your obvious misunderstanding. There is absolutely nothing compulsive about my replying and I'm certainly not trying to force a debate. To interact or not is entirely your decision. The fact that you think all my posts are aimed at you is your problem.

I don't expect you to understand VS and I hope you never do because the only way you could would be to experience it.

Relationships are a two way street aren't they. You can't have a good or any relationship with your GC's parents if they don't want one with you.

That's the point isn't it. Our GC had no say and the OP's GD has no say either. I agree, that children are there for the ones who love them and there's a need to come together in their best interests.

Our ES and his wife were not, and are not prepared to do so despite how much we love our GC.

"We know how much you love ..... and wont stop you from seeing him"; but they did didn't they.

Rosie51

^You can’t make me care about what you think.^

I don't think anyone is trying to make you care about what we think. I find you totally incomprehensible and a bit deluded, and you don't have to tell me you don't care, I know you don't. Insincerely wishing those you interact with (despite your assertion you don't want to interact with anybody) "Have a great day" says so much about your character.

And after all of that said, none of it matters to me. Have a great day!

If people have personal problems they want to resolve with someone perhaps they could take it to PM before this thread is lost to the OP