To betray or stay quiet

Thanks Madgran - yes I missed the hidden message there, so this discussion is now pointless as she's told. She did the right thing imo is it was indeed a really nasty video

I certainly think MerylStreep is over-dramatising things - while that level of grooming does happen, there’s no reason to assume it’s what is happening here.
The point is it MIGHT be happening and it is for tge parents to establish that! That is shy the OP is right to tell the parents

I have a nine year old grandson, and I’m pretty certain he wouldn’t go looking for anything unsavoury, everything is football related.
If he did receive something inappropriate and sent it to me, I would assume he wanted me to see it and do something about it.
Which, would be to tell his mum, at no point would he be in any trouble.

surely parents should be closely supervising, checking on internet/phone usage at this age.

Discord is basically like a chat room - so it could have been a closed group chat of just his friends, or with strangers. He may not even have interacted with them, someone just shared the link and that’s where he got it from. It does sound like he needs a conversation about internet safety, but it sounds unlikely that your son wants to discuss any of this with you.

I certainly think MerylStreep is over-dramatising things - while that level of grooming does happen, there’s no reason to assume it’s what is happening here.

welbeck

be wary of forwarding anything offensive; you may commit an offence thereby.

The OP told us that she doesn’t have the video.

welbeck

be wary of forwarding anything offensive; you may commit an offence thereby.

A good point welbeck

VioletSky

Idk about that

This sort of thing isn't drama

Certainly isn't, it is real life

be wary of forwarding anything offensive; you may commit an offence thereby.

Idk about that

This sort of thing isn't drama

Yes there is.

It not going well is the parents responsibility, she did what she had to do. Up to them

Yes and she has done that and it hasn't gone well Madgran

But if this happens to anyone else, there is a lesson to learn

VioletSky

It's a safeguarding concern

You pass it on straight away.

You don't reply to it and give grandson the chance to delete it

You don't have a conversation with grandson about it before the parents giving the opportunity for them to beg

You don't run to an Internet forum for it to be discussed

You don't send a message to son that contains your personal description of something he can't see.

What you do is forward the video with a "grandson sent this by accident and I thought you should know

Because otherwise you just started a big drama in an already problematic relationship with someone who already doesn't trust your word

Well yes I agree with uou VS

However by the time the OP posted she had already had a discussion with grandson and, it appears, deleted the video. She can't go back and redo her initial response, therefore going forward the answer to her question "Do I tell, or do I keep quiet" is "Tell"

It's a safeguarding concern

You pass it on straight away.

You don't reply to it and give grandson the chance to delete it

You don't have a conversation with grandson about it before the parents giving the opportunity for them to beg

You don't run to an Internet forum for it to be discussed

You don't send a message to son that contains your personal description of something he can't see.

What you do is forward the video with a "grandson sent this by accident and I thought you should know

Because otherwise you just started a big drama in an already problematic relationship with someone who already doesn't trust your word

Get real 👍MerylStreep

Quokka

Firstly deal with your grandson yourself. Make it quite clear your disgust and your disappointment then open a meaningful discussion.

Then convince him to tell his parents himself.

That’s just about the worst thing you you can do.
What better way to make a child curious.
You seem to have missed the point that this video was sent to him He was probably on a site chatting to his friends when a piece of slime purporting to be a child had his contacts.
Get real.

and why would some express disgust/disappointment to the child ??

Quite!!!

i think some people need to read up on child safety and the internet.
there seems to be a lack of awareness in some quarters.
and why would some express disgust/disappointment to the child ??

VioletSky

Why are you talking to me not them then?

I was responding to your comments! I have already responded to other posters!!

As I said though, no point debating it. I still hope the OP finds a way through and most of all I hope the 9 year old child gets supported appropriately

Hithere

We do not know if the father already knew of the video and addressed with his son

No we don't! All we know is what we have been told! So .....

Smileless2012

So are some posters suggesting that the OP put her relationship with her son above the interests and welfare of her 9 year old GS, in case her adult son, father of this boy doesn't like what she has to say?

Unbelievable.

Yes it IS unbelievable isn't it Smileless And somehow it is supposed to be the OP who is at fault, not the parents apparent response , from the information given, which is all we can go on!! Honestly I am SO astounded! 😳

VioletSky

Why are you talking to me not them then?

To Madgran

Why are you talking to me not them then?

We do not know if the father already knew of the video and addressed with his son

VioletSky

Madgran

She has already told her son and it hasn't gone well and he hasn't listened...

He has treated it like drama and ignored it

Obviously the explanation hasn't gotten the point across

Yes I know!

My comments were referring to the fact that some posters appeared to be ignoring the fact that this is a 9 year old child. As I have said its up to the OPS son how he responds, its not the fault of the OP for telling him and her telling him is not therefore a "big mistake" as suggested by some posters!!