Oops

Yes my ‘common sense’ told me this but my sil saw no problem with letting the boys into their locked room and chase them around the garden. I just wanted thé visit to go well and didn’t want to have to be strict but I was so worried

Next time they come you say - very clearly - that you wish to keep the children and dogs apart and you have put them in a safe room and the children are not allowed in there. End of.

It is not about brats or faulty discipline; it is about these children being failed by the adults around them.

The children do not need the discipline - the adults do.

Exactly - I make arrangements to let the dogs sleep in a locked room
And go outside when my grandsons where inside. But my sil allowed them on the sleeping room and then chase them around the garden! I said constantly be careful but he thought it was fun! It was very stressful

What do you mean “ wanted to know what’s the rules as in disciplining grandchildren and putting foots down with them and somehow I ended up with my grandchild is a brat and my son in law saw my google search it”
You Googled ?
You’ve had children you’ve got grandchildren, whatever happened to common sense and life experience?
Dogs and toddlers should be kept apart on visits - safety gate or closed door for everybody’s safety. Yes children need to learn how to behave around dogs but unless they are used to each other, discretion is essential. 100%supervision may be enough with a staid, calm “bombproof” dog and an older child who leaves the dog alone, but I would never ever take risks.
And I don’t need to Google some imagined rules!

The children are the parents responsibility

The dogs are yours

The dogs and the children are not to blame here

You are all adults, communicate and come to a better arrabgement between yourselves

You are missing my point - I did keep them apart and made plans to do
So. But my sil allowed them
In the locked room with them and allowed them to go outside and chase and catch them round the garden. Am
I not allowed to
Say no this behavior?

Caramme

Gosh, this post made me angry. So, OP, who do you value most, your dogs or your grandchildren? Have you seen how many children are attacked by dogs? Your grandchildren are too young to understand how to treat animals so no good blaming them for being unruly. Yes, the parents should have taken some responsibility, but you saw the danger. It is your home, your dogs, your grandchildren - and you knew they were not safe. So why were the dogs not locked away from the children? What were you going to do? Wait until one of the dogs bit the toddler’s face off?

Well quite.

OP I think you are seriously missing the point. Two very small children not used to dogs (and why should they be?) do not behave appropriately with them - well, there's a surprise! The responsibility here lies with you fairly and squarely.

They are not brats - they are small children. They did not "disrespect" (lord preserve us!) your dogs ; they simply behaved like children - what were you expecting?

The children and dogs should have been kept completely apart, as the responsible dog owner grandparents on here would do without a second thought.

This is crazy! I live on a busy road shall I say unless you csn teach the boys to not run on the road don’t visit. When did discipline end.

My dogs slept in a separate room with a key lock or in the garden. My son in law thought nothing of it to let them in the room and then let them chase them round the garden. I was literally saying all the time let’s leave the dogs aloe but it was a fun game for them and I just do t see what I should have r allowed that! They literally didn’t want any part of it and there was no need to go near them!

Keep the dogs away from the children or don’t have the children to visit. You can’t have both and be safe.

Simple.

I did keep them safe! They were in a separate room or in the garden. But it seemed to be fun game to go chase them round the garden or go sit in their beds. And my sil said oooo be careful but didn’t say noooo
Don’t do that! Hence me not knowing what to do or what to say

Adgm

Let’s be clear our dogs are small gentle dogs - without provocation they would never ever behave badly and haven’t done during the grandchildren’s early years. I guess the point is surely children need to be taught don’t go near a fire don’t go near a road don’t go pull a dogs ear? Surely children should be taught not to do dangerous things? If children feel they can do anything they can feel
In a park situation they can go up
any dog and pull push and it will
Be safe. Shouldn’t they learn boundaries?

This comment makes me very uncomfortable

Your grandchildren are only 2 and 4 and you are blaming them and don't actually seem to want to take any responsibility for your dogs or your Google search

You seem more concerned about your dogs and angry at small children

You are the dogs owner, it is your home and you are the person who will be held responsible if there is an incident and possibly forced to put your poor dogs to sleep

You are in the wrong here and you must face that

This is crazy! I am not not worried about the dogs! Surely children should be taught to respect? What if they pulled pushed you? Are you saying children should be able to do what they want and adults just follow along? No / don’t kick pull any animal it’s not nice. If my grandsons come to your house and slap your grandchildren is that your fault or theirs?? When does discipline come into this!!

Surely if you have young children to stay You Have to make the house safe? your responsibility is to safety, not sitting there to say ‘ I told you so’ to such young children.
Dogs should be separated from the children, log fires should be behind a fire guard fixed to the wall.
Gates should be in the gardens to stop children running into the road. If they are in the park they should be kept close and not allowed to run after strange dogs.
If the children are with you then it is up to you to keep them safe, if the parents are with you you must all keep the children safe using whatever measures are available to you. It takes more than 1 conversation with toddlers to make them understand. You see the problems, so it’s up to you to prevent them.

Adgm

My grandchildren are my priority. So does this mean I allow him to to pull push them? Would you allow your grandchild to push pull your hair? Or would you say no that’s not allowed? Do children not need boundaries of any type these days! I adore my grandchildren but I also have a log burner so I say ooooo don’t let me be strict go up burn yourself! Children need rules to keep them safe because we love them so much and want to keep them safe.

If your grandchildren pull your hair there is surely no risk of you savaging them. You are in denial. How many times has the owner of a hitherto placid dog expressed disbelief that their gentle pet had bitten a child? Hopefully you’ve got some sort of guard around the log burner too.

The dogs SHOULD NOT be in a position to be pulled or pushed
You should have kept the dogs away from the grandkids For goodness sake don’t you understand you are the house owner you are the dogs owner it’s up to you to keep the dogs under strict supervision at all times

How the parents have taught the children around dogs cats roads or whatever is not for you to query

They are your two dogs and you need to make your house safe for visitors, be it an hour, a day or a week

Your post comes across that you are more worried about the dogs than the little kids

My dogs are the safest softest dogs but any dog can be scared if they are pulled pushed kicked. I just allow this? Go ahead kick my dogs and let’s see what they do? Go ahead touch the fire go ahead run on the road - children need to know how to be safe surely? Let’s see how it goes if they run up to a dangerous dog in the park if they know no rules

My grandchildren are my priority. So does this mean I allow him to to pull push them? Would you allow your grandchild to push pull your hair? Or would you say no that’s not allowed? Do children not need boundaries of any type these days! I adore my grandchildren but I also have a log burner so I say ooooo don’t let me be strict go up burn yourself! Children need rules to keep them safe because we love them so much and want to keep them safe.

grannyrebel7

I've had to keep my dog on a lead during GCs visit, but I'd rather do this than risk their safety.

We do whatever it takes don't we?

However I think that Adgm's dogs might be happier going on their own little holiday to a nice pet sitter's house while the children are in residence 🐶🐶

Gosh, this post made me angry. So, OP, who do you value most, your dogs or your grandchildren? Have you seen how many children are attacked by dogs? Your grandchildren are too young to understand how to treat animals so no good blaming them for being unruly. Yes, the parents should have taken some responsibility, but you saw the danger. It is your home, your dogs, your grandchildren - and you knew they were not safe. So why were the dogs not locked away from the children? What were you going to do? Wait until one of the dogs bit the toddler’s face off?

Let’s be clear our dogs are small gentle dogs - without provocation they would never ever behave badly and haven’t done during the grandchildren’s early years. I guess the point is surely children need to be taught don’t go near a fire don’t go near a road don’t go pull a dogs ear? Surely children should be taught not to do dangerous things? If children feel they can do anything they can feel
In a park situation they can go up
any dog and pull push and it will
Be safe. Shouldn’t they learn boundaries?

Adgm, - your lack of action and control is really worrying. I keep my toddler/younger grandkids well away from my dog - unless both are very well supervised.

There's a baby gate in the hall and the dog (sometimes me too) can rest peacefully in the living room - while family or guests with children use the kitchen diner and sun room. Once the children are asleep in bed, the gate can be open. It's my house, my rules - and non negotiable!

I don’t think I would ever consider taking two young children to a home with two dogs.
Not saying anything against children or dogs, just not a good mix.

That’s appalling Debbie. I would suggest that child needs to be taught how to treat animals with respect. The exclamation marks suggest you found his actions amusing.

I've had to keep my dog on a lead during GCs visit, but I'd rather do this than risk their safety.