Oops

Oh my goodness, you have got yourself into a pickle

Calling children "brats" is not likely to go down well

Here is my advice, please take it or leave it

What you need to do is communicate your concerns to your daughter (primarily) amd your SIL

You need to explain that you love them and love spending time with them but perhaps a shorter visit next time as the extra noise and mess was tiring

Next visit you need to explain again your concerns about your grandchild and the dog before hand and ask that they handle any problems with their child quickly and explain to him how the dog should be treated. Also say that you will do your best to create a safe space for dog and child to be seperate when there is any chance they won't be fully supervised

And definitely apologise for the Google search, as a moment of frustration. Get that done as soon as possible, don't let it fester

I’m amazed you hadn’t had a conversation about children and dogs previously as the children are 2 and 4. Why not? Never mind the messiness, difficult though that is to accept - the children’s safety is at stake if they don’t know how to interact with dogs and they are not supervised at all times. Your daughter and son in law have to take their share of responsibility for what might have happened, or may happen on a future visit if their children are not properly disciplined.

Is it a boy thing ? My 2 granddaughter's never bothered our Jack Russell. They are 13 and 11 now and still love our dog and respect our house . Grandson is completely different, he's 5 now . But as soon as he could walk he chased and terrorised our poor dog, she still hides from him . He touches everything we ask him not too and can't be left alone without getting up to mischief. We had one of those balloon pumps over the weekend, when our backs were turned he tried to inflate our poor guinea pigs !!!

Sorry but however lovely they are I feel the dogs should have been put behind a safety gate with a strange 2 and 4 year old around…children of 2 and 4 don’t disrespect dogs but they don’t know how to be safely around them so if you have guests it’s up to you to keep the dogs out of their hands

Your post is a bit muddled is English your first language ?

Not sure what you were googling ? Was it how to discipline grandchildren If so, if their parents were present it’s not up to you to discipline them if they behave badly you speak to the parents and ask them to sort them out

If they got bitten by your dogs it wouldn’t be the dogs fault or the children’s fault but yours and their parents for not keeping them safely apart
Please be more prepared for the next visit suddenly having a 2 and 4 year old around is going to seem like riots if you aren’t used to any noise or muddle
Good luck for next time

I agree GSM but it is hard to monitor toddlers all the time. Children of 2 &4 soon forget what they have been told.
Is it possible to keep your dogs apart from the children at least for some of the time Adgm and have shorter visits. Explain to your daughter and son in law that you were stressed about the children and dogs when you made the Google search.

I've had to keep my dog on a lead during GCs visit, but I'd rather do this than risk their safety.

That’s appalling Debbie. I would suggest that child needs to be taught how to treat animals with respect. The exclamation marks suggest you found his actions amusing.

I don’t think I would ever consider taking two young children to a home with two dogs.
Not saying anything against children or dogs, just not a good mix.

Adgm, - your lack of action and control is really worrying. I keep my toddler/younger grandkids well away from my dog - unless both are very well supervised.

There's a baby gate in the hall and the dog (sometimes me too) can rest peacefully in the living room - while family or guests with children use the kitchen diner and sun room. Once the children are asleep in bed, the gate can be open. It's my house, my rules - and non negotiable!

Let’s be clear our dogs are small gentle dogs - without provocation they would never ever behave badly and haven’t done during the grandchildren’s early years. I guess the point is surely children need to be taught don’t go near a fire don’t go near a road don’t go pull a dogs ear? Surely children should be taught not to do dangerous things? If children feel they can do anything they can feel
In a park situation they can go up
any dog and pull push and it will
Be safe. Shouldn’t they learn boundaries?

Gosh, this post made me angry. So, OP, who do you value most, your dogs or your grandchildren? Have you seen how many children are attacked by dogs? Your grandchildren are too young to understand how to treat animals so no good blaming them for being unruly. Yes, the parents should have taken some responsibility, but you saw the danger. It is your home, your dogs, your grandchildren - and you knew they were not safe. So why were the dogs not locked away from the children? What were you going to do? Wait until one of the dogs bit the toddler’s face off?

grannyrebel7

I've had to keep my dog on a lead during GCs visit, but I'd rather do this than risk their safety.

We do whatever it takes don't we?

However I think that Adgm's dogs might be happier going on their own little holiday to a nice pet sitter's house while the children are in residence 🐶🐶

My grandchildren are my priority. So does this mean I allow him to to pull push them? Would you allow your grandchild to push pull your hair? Or would you say no that’s not allowed? Do children not need boundaries of any type these days! I adore my grandchildren but I also have a log burner so I say ooooo don’t let me be strict go up burn yourself! Children need rules to keep them safe because we love them so much and want to keep them safe.

My dogs are the safest softest dogs but any dog can be scared if they are pulled pushed kicked. I just allow this? Go ahead kick my dogs and let’s see what they do? Go ahead touch the fire go ahead run on the road - children need to know how to be safe surely? Let’s see how it goes if they run up to a dangerous dog in the park if they know no rules

The dogs SHOULD NOT be in a position to be pulled or pushed
You should have kept the dogs away from the grandkids For goodness sake don’t you understand you are the house owner you are the dogs owner it’s up to you to keep the dogs under strict supervision at all times

How the parents have taught the children around dogs cats roads or whatever is not for you to query

They are your two dogs and you need to make your house safe for visitors, be it an hour, a day or a week

Your post comes across that you are more worried about the dogs than the little kids

Adgm

My grandchildren are my priority. So does this mean I allow him to to pull push them? Would you allow your grandchild to push pull your hair? Or would you say no that’s not allowed? Do children not need boundaries of any type these days! I adore my grandchildren but I also have a log burner so I say ooooo don’t let me be strict go up burn yourself! Children need rules to keep them safe because we love them so much and want to keep them safe.

If your grandchildren pull your hair there is surely no risk of you savaging them. You are in denial. How many times has the owner of a hitherto placid dog expressed disbelief that their gentle pet had bitten a child? Hopefully you’ve got some sort of guard around the log burner too.

Surely if you have young children to stay You Have to make the house safe? your responsibility is to safety, not sitting there to say ‘ I told you so’ to such young children.
Dogs should be separated from the children, log fires should be behind a fire guard fixed to the wall.
Gates should be in the gardens to stop children running into the road. If they are in the park they should be kept close and not allowed to run after strange dogs.
If the children are with you then it is up to you to keep them safe, if the parents are with you you must all keep the children safe using whatever measures are available to you. It takes more than 1 conversation with toddlers to make them understand. You see the problems, so it’s up to you to prevent them.

This is crazy! I am not not worried about the dogs! Surely children should be taught to respect? What if they pulled pushed you? Are you saying children should be able to do what they want and adults just follow along? No / don’t kick pull any animal it’s not nice. If my grandsons come to your house and slap your grandchildren is that your fault or theirs?? When does discipline come into this!!

Adgm

Let’s be clear our dogs are small gentle dogs - without provocation they would never ever behave badly and haven’t done during the grandchildren’s early years. I guess the point is surely children need to be taught don’t go near a fire don’t go near a road don’t go pull a dogs ear? Surely children should be taught not to do dangerous things? If children feel they can do anything they can feel
In a park situation they can go up
any dog and pull push and it will
Be safe. Shouldn’t they learn boundaries?

This comment makes me very uncomfortable

Your grandchildren are only 2 and 4 and you are blaming them and don't actually seem to want to take any responsibility for your dogs or your Google search

You seem more concerned about your dogs and angry at small children

You are the dogs owner, it is your home and you are the person who will be held responsible if there is an incident and possibly forced to put your poor dogs to sleep

You are in the wrong here and you must face that

I did keep them safe! They were in a separate room or in the garden. But it seemed to be fun game to go chase them round the garden or go sit in their beds. And my sil said oooo be careful but didn’t say noooo
Don’t do that! Hence me not knowing what to do or what to say

Keep the dogs away from the children or don’t have the children to visit. You can’t have both and be safe.

Simple.

My dogs slept in a separate room with a key lock or in the garden. My son in law thought nothing of it to let them in the room and then let them chase them round the garden. I was literally saying all the time let’s leave the dogs aloe but it was a fun game for them and I just do t see what I should have r allowed that! They literally didn’t want any part of it and there was no need to go near them!

This is crazy! I live on a busy road shall I say unless you csn teach the boys to not run on the road don’t visit. When did discipline end.

Caramme

Gosh, this post made me angry. So, OP, who do you value most, your dogs or your grandchildren? Have you seen how many children are attacked by dogs? Your grandchildren are too young to understand how to treat animals so no good blaming them for being unruly. Yes, the parents should have taken some responsibility, but you saw the danger. It is your home, your dogs, your grandchildren - and you knew they were not safe. So why were the dogs not locked away from the children? What were you going to do? Wait until one of the dogs bit the toddler’s face off?

Well quite.

OP I think you are seriously missing the point. Two very small children not used to dogs (and why should they be?) do not behave appropriately with them - well, there's a surprise! The responsibility here lies with you fairly and squarely.

They are not brats - they are small children. They did not "disrespect" (lord preserve us!) your dogs ; they simply behaved like children - what were you expecting?

The children and dogs should have been kept completely apart, as the responsible dog owner grandparents on here would do without a second thought.