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Grandparenting

Should I provide Childcare??

(107 Posts)
Visgir1 Sun 11-Jun-23 08:22:05

Me thinks that's a No IMO.. . 4 days you will have the baby more than the parents.
By all means help but from friends experience and including myself 4 days is too much.
You need to maintain your job that's income and self worth. Your illness as well can lead to bad days with a baby there, more stress.

My friend does 3 days and she regrets it. Also it has put her relationship with her daughter on rocky ground, with her daughter wanting things done her way, and the Grandma not complying to these exact rules.

I look after my grandson from 3.30 - 6 pm and 10 - 6pm over 2 days that's enough for me as I also work 2 days a week. Luckily Grandad is around he was a godsend when I got my Hip replacement last year.
You need to have a frank conversation with your daughter, see what you can sort and support.
Good luck

Mizuna Sun 11-Jun-23 06:37:53

It's lovely to be involved with grandchildren isn't it LouLou? But as you know the baby will grow into a boisterous toddler! I looked after my granddaughter from age six months until she was five years old, three days a week, and that was quite enough and I had no health issues. What you are being asked to do sounds very tiring, however enjoyable it would be otherwise. And it does sound as if you would miss your job. All the best in making your mind up!

Madgran77 Sun 11-Jun-23 06:35:37

One day a week is a sensible compromise. You daughter and SIL either accept that offer for they dont really ...but why wouldn't they? This one day will enable you to build lovely routines and a relationship with your grandchild without being totally exhausted.

Oopsadaisy1 Sun 11-Jun-23 06:24:51

I think you have answered your own post!

Childcare will be for 4 years, with the best will in the world as you aren’t well at the moment I can’t see you being fit enough to look after a toddler, plus you will miss socialising.

Opt for one day a week and let the parents sort out the rest.

LouLou23 Sun 11-Jun-23 06:21:45

Hopefully this comes as a reply to Rosie! Thanks for your input. You are so right about the one day a week and then filling in here and there. Even that is a stretch on our energy isn't it? I did something similar with my last grandson. I had to chuckle reading your words, that you can't watch a baby if you are in your recliner! Really, it is you can't sit in your recliner if you are watching a baby, lol. And yes I would have to give up my 12 hour a week job. I feel selfish comparing them, but I would be working for my daughter for twice the hours (about 24) for what I make in my little job for 12 hours, sitting and answering the phone. I do it for extra income and to get out of the house and socialize. I also get free Veterinarian Care for my cats as it is a Vet clinic. I thought I would be happy being able to stop working this job, but now I'm not so sure.

rosie1959 Sun 11-Jun-23 06:09:17

With the best will in the world LouLoo23 from how you describe your physical condition it would be far too much for you.
I have looked after my grandaughter from age 6 months for one day a week I am in good health and reasonably fit but it was tiring especially when she was a baby. My daughter has always been happy with this and for the other 4 days she was in full time nursery. I am always about to step in for the odd times and now take and pick her up from school one day a week.
You have had your children and now your life is your own help out by all means but not for extended periods.
You cannot rest in your recliner when you have a baby to look after.
You also have your own job which I presume you enjoy would you have to give thus up?

LouLou23 Sun 11-Jun-23 05:28:05

Hi there, I am new to the site and encouraged to find some discussion on this subject. I did want to get some specific feedback though on my situation. My daughter recently asked me if I would take care of her baby 3-4 days a week all day, as she has to go back to work after 4 months after the baby is born. My jaw dropped. She is not open to a flexible arrangement (her OCD) so its either Montessori Daycare or me watching my grandchild and her and her husband taking one-two days off from work a week. I would love to help her and be with my new grandchild. I help raised my youngest daughter's son as she was a single Mom. But that was 10 years ago and not only is my energy level much less, but I've developed several conditions that cause chronic pain, one being fibromyalgia. I am fine as I have learned to manage it all and have learned to push through the pain and fatigue. I am honored she would entrust me with her baby and envision being the perfect Grandma and Mom watching the baby and supporting my daughter and son in law! I have a 12 hour a week job now answering the phone at a medical clinic, which is a very easy, low stress job. Watching the baby would be twice as many hours for half the pay. And then there is the endurance and pain level. I usually am in my recliner about 2 or 3pm each day recovering and resting, to manage my pain levels. I am so divided and not thinking clearly. Any input would be appreciated.