Grandson visit with girlfriend

how long do they want to stay.
i think 15 is too young to have an unknown youngster staying with you.
she is underage, in every sense.
what if she became ill, or had an accident. or asked for some medicament.
you would have to take on some parental responsibility that may put you in an awkward position.
i would not have her to stay.

I'd be ok with it if they were a little older. But she's under age.
So not in my house . Not at 15.

Fifteen is under age.
He has offered to sleep on the sofa, which seems sensible.
You are trusting him to behave responsibly; why should you be concerned about being thought 'old-fashioned'?

This attitude, 'they are going to do it anyway' actually means, 'I don't want to take any responsibility.' and 'I'm a free-thinker, me.'

From earlier comments it sounds as if my attitude will not be appreciated. I would not be the moral police and would ask the parents to imagine the youngsters were out in the great outdoors camping together (i.e. ignore me). PI would hope that if the teenagers were even remotely contemplating sex that they had good contraceptive advice. As a teenager in the seventies, I cannot believe that youngsters nowadays are less knowledgeable than we were. I don't care if couples are serious, or married or strangers in the night but I do care about unwanted pregnancies.

Oreo

There are some really innocent people on this thread

That's unfair. We all know what teenagers are like - but that doesn't mean that they won't behave respectfully when visiting grandparents!

There are some really innocent people on this thread

wildswan16

I can't see the problem. Boy is on the couch. Girl is in a bedroom. Do you not trust either of them? If they did want to have underage sex then there are plenty other places they could choose to do so.

Just give them both a stern look (with a grin on your face) on the way to bed and remind them that you are both very light sleepers.

There aren’t plenty of other places other than outside.

I can't believe some of the comments I am reading! The lad has asked to visit and bring his girlfriend with him - that is all. Just because they are both under the same roof does not mean they are going to be at it like rabbits! If he had asked for them to sleep in the same room you would be perfectly entitled to say "not in our house" but he hasn't

Joseann

I'm not sure I would agree to it. The sofa suggestion is all well and good, but how are you going to police it at 2 am?

You can’t!
Do the kids think they can have an easy time of it staying with grandparents? Do you live somewhere say, near the sea so it would be a holiday for them? Or do you live only a bus ride away from them? Why would they want to stay with you rather than a day visit other than for obvs reasons?
I would say no to it as the girl is under age and it puts responsibility on you.

I think a lot of posters are over reacting. Why assume they are having sex ?
I would think that their parents will have spelled it out very carefully to them what they expect .Ithink you must trust them .What a compliment that your grandson wants to come and stay with you. Do you think he would want to betray your trust ??Doesn't sound like it to me.

Contraception?

Someone-parents-grandparents-anyone please- needs to be informing him of the consequences of sex, even consensual sex, with a minor.

It is statutory rape and he could easily end up on the sec offenders list.

It won’t matter that she was enthusiastic and willing, she cannot give consent so legally it would be rape.

If another adult has aided that in any way they too can be convicted of a sexual offence,

It doesn’t matter whether you think they’d do it anyway. That’s the law, that’s the penalty.

You don’t think it would happen. Look up sex offender convictions.

Who would it a lad in a position where his whole life could be ruined? 😱😱😱😱

I would trust my grandson to keep his word and sleep on the sofa.

I think it's important not to put any pressure on them. The girl is 15. Yes, they may already be having sex, but equally they may not, and if you are too blasé about it they might feel that there is no good reason to say no when they aren't ready (and that applies to your GS as well as to the girl).

I'd be surprised if they were expecting you, as the grandparents, to say it was ok, so they are probably coming to stay with the expectation of separate rooms.

I can't see the problem. Boy is on the couch. Girl is in a bedroom. Do you not trust either of them? If they did want to have underage sex then there are plenty other places they could choose to do so.

Just give them both a stern look (with a grin on your face) on the way to bed and remind them that you are both very light sleepers.

If both sets of parents are in agreement I wouldjust welcome them in and trust them..The point has already been made about separate rooms,and agreed with him

I agree with VS as well

I would be delighted that my grandson wanted to come and stay. They are probably lovely young people who wouldn't dream of embarrasing you and you could have a lovely time with them.
I am not naive, I have six grandchildren and two great grandchildren. None of them would have seen this as an opportunity to misbehave. So long as you check that their parents are okay with this then go ahead and enjoy the visit

I would treat the girl as just another friend, you don't know if they are having a sexual relationship and if they are then it could happen anywhere, unlikely to be in the grandparents house.

The girls parents trust her, do you trust your grandson?

If you don’t want them having sex in your house, surely you’d just tell them that.

Grandparents' bedroom door left wide open is a very good idea.

When I first met my DH we occasionally stayed overnight at his parents house. By then we were both 22. They went to bed quite early and we would stay up and watch the late night movie. Each time his father would go to the bathroom and complain that we were still up.

I slept in the spare room and DH on the sofa. There's absolutely no way would we have indulged in any sexual behaviour!

They will be fine.

While they are under your roof, you are responsible for them. Can you trust them to spend the night apart, or will they betray your hospitality? What are your own personal morals on this subject?

Yes, Fleur.

Riverwalk

The girl is 15, below the age of consent - I know the boy is only 16 but it is still unlawful.

And I wouldn't be facilitating sex between the two.

It is not unlawful to come and stay with Granny, one sleeping on the sofa and one upstairs in the spare room.

If they are going to, they are going to. Letting them stay is not facilitating anything at all.

Calendargirl

What if it were your 15 year old grandaughter wanting to come and stay with her 16 year old boyfriend?

Would the answers be the same?

Yes, of course.