Husband doesn't want me to look after grandchild once a week

Delila

Well at least you’re acknowledging that there are two people who “want what they want”, and not just the OP, Lathyrus.

If one party blocks a way forward, the other party may have to make a choice between two opposing options, albeit reluctantly.

However, that’s how things looked from the original post, but things have probably been resolved by now. Perhaps the blockage wasn’t immovable, and harmony has been restored.

Yes, it's called compromise 🙂
Circumstances change, reasonable people adapt to changing circumstances.

opinion of their own

She is talking about leaving him Callistemon.

Choosing between them if he isn’t happy about what she wants.

Don’t you think that suggests her feelings for him have changed.

You don’t walk away from someone you love just because they don’t agree with what you do and have an opinion of your own.

You walk away because you don’t care any more.

Well at least you’re acknowledging that there are two people who “want what they want”, and not just the OP, Lathyrus.

If one party blocks a way forward, the other party may have to make a choice between two opposing options, albeit reluctantly.

However, that’s how things looked from the original post, but things have probably been resolved by now. Perhaps the blockage wasn’t immovable, and harmony has been restored.

I agree with Fleurpepper

And yes - conjecture and supposition.

Suggesting compromise by some of us seems to enrage some posters.
I do not understand why.

And as for someone suggesting that loving a new baby means you've moved on and don't love your partner any more, well words fail me ........

I agree GSM, the OP has gone beyond what might have been expected of her when she “offered to help out” two years ago. Now she’s not unreasonable to expect some consideration in respect of the birth of her first grandchild.

Well that’s the problem isn’t it.

Two people who want what they want albeit for different reasons.

The OPs next move was to “chose between them”

That’s not much of a negotiation or compromise.

We don’t know if he offered anything different. Only what she is determining to have. Or leave.

Germanshepherdsmum

Working full time for two years goes beyond offering to help out. She may not have received a salary but I would be very surprised if she hadn’t had the benefit of profits from completed projects. Remember we have only one side of the story.

I've done books for over 55 years, no salary. However we do eat on year end profits, buy clothing, home, holidays - many businesses work on a year end profit not a weekly/monthly pay plan.

Germanshepherdsmum

VioletSky

OP spends a few hours a week with grandchild

Husband says her life revolves around grandchild

So not healthy

I wonder, does OP have friends or any other interests at all or is it just a life of being available to husband 24/7 without a break

For all we know, she might talk incessantly about the grandchild and constantly be messaging the parents about them and shoving photos and videos in his face. That would justify a comment that her life revolves around them.

Wow, talk about conjecture!?! OP certainly did not mention this at all.

A compromise means both discuss and agree. That is the ideal- what if one party a) refuses to discuss sensibly and b) does not agree to any compromise?

Working full time for two years goes beyond offering to help out. She may not have received a salary but I would be very surprised if she hadn’t had the benefit of profits from completed projects. Remember we have only one side of the story.

VioletSky

I'm still here

I don't agree with the sort of marriage that resents a few hours a week with a grandchild and it concerns me

That's not "nasty"

No nasty is suggesting that the OPs husband forcibly prevents her from accessing others and frighten s her so much that she has to hide in a lockable room.

That’s nasty.

Me too Blondiescot

Maybe OPs husband would feel differently if they were his biological children

But it being a second marriage does not mean OP has to abandon her own family in his favour

Both of us are guilty of conjecture there GSM

VioletSky

What happens if someone wants to leave their marriage?

They can't because business commitments?

Clearly not, because they have 'obligations'. Anyway, like I said, I'm just thankful I'm not in the kind of relationship some people on here seem to have.

I'm still here

I don't agree with the sort of marriage that resents a few hours a week with a grandchild and it concerns me

That's not "nasty"

GSM, for clarity, the OP “offered to help out”, she didn’t commit herself to working full-time for the duration of the current project. As discussed before, she has since worked for her husband’s company for two years without pay.

She must have made a significant contribution during those two years as her husband now says he’s not happy about her dropping one day a week. It doesn’t sound as though she’s been a passenger in the marriage or in her husband’s business.

VioletSky

OP spends a few hours a week with grandchild

Husband says her life revolves around grandchild

So not healthy

I wonder, does OP have friends or any other interests at all or is it just a life of being available to husband 24/7 without a break

For all we know, she might talk incessantly about the grandchild and constantly be messaging the parents about them and shoving photos and videos in his face. That would justify a comment that her life revolves around them.

Another flounce (sigh)

Good. What you’ve just suggested should be reported.

Reported

Post references now withdrawn post

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Delila

Offering a compromise is just the start, usually followed by negotiation, then, hopefully, mutual agreement.

Negotiations come first and then hope you teach a compromise.

Because compromise takes the agreement of all.

One person can’t offer a compromise.

What one person offers is an opening stance. The other person responds with their position, which might be agreement or not.

Then they negotiate snd hopefully reach a compromise. It’s an end not a beginning.

Yes, you're more than happy which is great Blondiescot. I was more than happy when Mr. S. decided it was time to retire and close our business.

The OP's husband isn't happy, that's the point. Perhaps her offer to work one day over the weekend wont work for their business so they may need to find another way to make it work.

Is it really helping the OP for her husband to be described in the way he has? I doubt it. Is that going to enable her to think about what's best for them as a married couple, their business, her D and her GC? I doubt that too.

He hasn't said 'no', he's said it will affect their work and be difficult and for that, he's been demonised by some posters.

I agree with Lathryrus that some posters and the OP don't seem to have grasped the possible financial implications.

OP spends a few hours a week with grandchild

Husband says her life revolves around grandchild

So not healthy

I wonder, does OP have friends or any other interests at all or is it just a life of being available to husband 24/7 without a break