Husband doesn't want me to look after grandchild once a week

Just found this thread. I agree with the great majority who have commented. My daughter takes care of her grandchildren (ages 2 and 1) one day a week, to give her daughter a chance to work full time on her job. Several other days of the week, the kids are in baby care near home, an excellent "baby school" and the rest of the time, home with Mom or Dad. It seems to work out fine for them.

I can't imagine my son-in-law objecting to his wife doing this, given how much pleasure it gives both her and the babies. Your husband sounds like he has some serious emotional issues. And as others have said, he has absolutely no right to make this decision for you.

I have no idea how many different kinds of business partnership there are GSM, that’s why I’m asking you what sort this is.

It seems a reasonable question as you say that the OP is legally in partnership with her husband, and this should affect her decision regarding spending a day a week with her new grandchild.

"Anyway I don’t propose to post further on this thread because my idea of honouring obligations seems light years away from others’."

Not all others

How many different kinds of business partnership do you think there are? Working together full time is not helping out.
Anyway I don’t propose to post further on this thread because my idea of honouring obligations seems light years away from others’.

No doubt you do know, GSM, so maybe you could tell us what sort of business partnership this is?

The OP’s involvement in the husband’s company is on a voluntary “helping out” basis.

Even if it damages the financial viability of the project? I have been a director of a property development company and know how easily a project can turn from profit to loss. Such as ‘taking just a little longer’ to complete a project as NutRocker suggests.

So I am always in favour of having time with grand kids or in my case great grandkids, because it is a source of great joy and keeps us young, however. If you were not retired and had a job you would not be able to just take a day off to babysit. What you did not tell us, is this renovating that you do with your husband seen by him as your new job? Or is it just a retirement hobby? If you went into it seeing it as a job then I can see why he is not happy, if it is not then there is no reason you should not give up a day to your grandchild.

If someone loves and cares for you they will want to help you achieve what makes you happy.

Wanting to spend time with your grandchild and support your daughter in practical ways is lovely and is perfectly normal. I would not allow a man to get in the way of that. Enjoy!

The husband was working alone. Now they work together full time. Maybe, just maybe, I know a bit about partnership law.

I don't understand at all why he wouldn't welcome your dear 1st gd as much as you, and want to dote on her! Why couldn't the renovating of your properties just take a bit longer whilst you spend precious time with her? She is only a baby for a short while, and you will never be able to get that back. There will always be another property.

It’s not a business partnership. When they married it was already the husband’s company, and apparently remains so.

When the OP retired she offered to help out and she’s been doing so for two years without a salary.

What sort of business partnership is that?

As my dad used to say blood is thicker than water, your daughter is blood he’s your water if any man tried to control me like that I’d be kicking him to the curb. My kids and grandkids come first before any man you shouldn’t not need permission if you in a 50-50 unit. Tell you you will be having grandchild he can like or lump

He is being totally unreasonable and seeking to impose the model he has chosen for seeing his biological
Grandchildren onto you with your biological gc. You need to put a stop to this now before it becomes entrenched - do you want a relationship with your gc that’s remote like the one he’s got with his gc? Personally I would tell him to take a running jump and let
go completely of any idea of working a day at the weekend to compensate. You don’t have to compensate for caring for your gc. He’s trying to gaslight you and for yourself
and all other people in your position you should stand up to that. By the way I’m a psychotherapist and I see this so often. It only gets worse unless you stop it.

Jealousy! Long and short of it. And why the hell are you ASKING him? Just say that this lovely baby is your grandchild and this is what you WANT to do and this is what you’re GOING to do ! Let him crawl away and sulk if that’s his choice!

The OP is legally in partnership with her husband.

There is no indication that he was renovating properties before she retired.

Drawing a salary in such a business can be impossible. Profit comes when a project is sold or let. Much of it is often ploughed into the next project to avoid finance costs.

There is no indication that OP does not benefit financially from the business.

Tell him to 'FLOAT right off '

The OP took early retirement and has spent the following two years working full time with her husband renovating properties. She receives no salary for this; profits may go into the husband's business or into family finances.

"The husband has said "looking after her grandchild one day a week will affect our work and is not happy for me to do it."
He has also said " If I spend more than a few hours a week with my grandchild he says my life revolves around her ."

First, it is foolish to work for anyone unpaid, unless you are a partner and share the profits. Establish your position in writing.
Secondly, he managed without you until two years ago.
Thirdly. many people retire early because of family commitments, usually grandchildren. You retired early and gave your husband two years unpaid labour.
Fourthly, he has made it clear he resents the time you spend with your first grandchild.

Will this business collapse without your labour, or are you saving him money?

Providing you and he are not in dire financial straits, I would give him notice of your intentions, calmly and rationally, and when the current project is finished give your daughter one day a week to look after your grandchild, and do not work on Saturday to cover for it.
I would also have financial arrangements put on a sound footing and draw a salary, even if you save it all and possibly feed it back eventually into this (joint) business.

‘^We have been working together for 2 years full time renovating properties.^.
That is a business partnership and OP has undertaken the obligations one business partner has to another. Her partner says that taking a day off each week will affect their work.

Thank goodness when I was in a business partnership we took our obligations to one another and our joint business very seriously. If we hadn’t it would have failed.

Baby rabies

Blondiescot

Hithere

If it was the dh who wanted 1 day for his hobby and it wasn't negotiable with the OP

The dh would be crucified here for his selfishness

Hardly comparable. Looking after a family member isn't a hobby.

It’s what someone wants to do. How they want to spend their time.

What’s the difference?

Sounds like your husband maybe a little jealous of the relationship you have with your daughter and you naturally want to help your daughter and spend time with your granddaughter, you sound like a really lovely mum and grandma, so where's the middle ground for you and your husband?
You are bending over backwards to allay his fears over your house renovations but that doesn't make him happy either!
I had a partner and we both had children and grandchildren and I made it clear from day one family come first and he said he agreed with that, in reality he was only paying me lip service, which was fine if he or both of us spent time with his family but when it came to me spending time with my family he really didn't like it one bit. Ultimately it was what broke out relationship I couldn't carry on putting up with his nasty mean comments about my family and him wanting my attention 24/7.
Take it from someone who has been there. If you love your daughter and you're new granddaughter you should not care about anyone else's opinion. Life is very short and you will never get this time back with your granddaughter, do what makes you happy and stop worrying about Bob The Builder.

Hithere

If it was the dh who wanted 1 day for his hobby and it wasn't negotiable with the OP

The dh would be crucified here for his selfishness

Hardly comparable. Looking after a family member isn't a hobby.

If it was the dh who wanted 1 day for his hobby and it wasn't negotiable with the OP

The dh would be crucified here for his selfishness

He sounds a controller if it comes to choosing let it be your grandchild x