My MIL b/day was Boxing Day and she said all through childhood people bought her only one present (for Xmas Day and birthday).
She hated it as I'm sure twins hate having to share
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Twin grandchildren first birthday - advice please
(56 Posts)My twin grandsons are coming up for their first birthdays. They were very premature so won’t really be aware, however, are there any grandparents of twins out there who can advise me on birthday and Christmas etiquette? Do you get them joint cards and presents? Or one each? Do you buy them the same gifts? And if I make a cake, is a joint one acceptable?
I’m an aunt to triplets and always sent separate cards and gave individual presents as they are all different . The only time I bought them a present between them was when I knew they’d have to play with it together. ….and that was a football game table …and was expensive ! But I did that only once !
I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but it concerns me that you are already thinking of the twins as a single unit, and considering treating them as such.
I understand that they are still very young, but I'm sure that you will see a difference between them already if you take the time to observe. It may be very minor, but there definitely will be some things. They are two *individual little*personalities, who may develop a very strong relationship, and have many similarities as they grow, but they are first and foremost individuals who will wish to be treated so.
Here endeth the sermon - sorry - but as a retired child psychologist I just had to speak my mind!
Enjoy them - what a delight!
Now and for ever you give them each a present suited later on to each child's preferences, a card each and if you bake a birthday cake, you bake two.
After all, you would not give two children born a year and two weeks apart joint gifts, would you?
If the twins themselves object to having two of all this at any time, you can obviously change what you do.
This year, I suggest you buy one twin a copy of "Winnie-the-Pooh" and the other a copy of "The House at Pooh Corner" in book form, I mean. I still, at the age of 71 have my copies and read them regularly with much the same delight as I did as a child.
Or you could, this year only, buy something big and expensive that their parents want for them as a joint present, if your means allow this kind of generosity.
I think all children twins or otherwise deserve individual presents and cards. They are individuals after all
Never, ever, a joint birthday present or card. I think whether they share a cake will depend on whether that is what they want, but they won't care this year!
Our twin grandchildren are nine now. We’ve always bought them separate gifts and given their own cards to them. When they were very small they often had the same or similar item in a different colour or style ie two sit and ride toys, one each, but different. Now they’re older they have different interests and we buy whatever they want. Cards will reflect their different interests. They are boy/girl twins so are very different. They are different children to us who happen to be twins.
One each surely! They're two different people
So maybe twins would prefer a cake each?who knew!🙂My grandchild birthday connundrum is how to break it to my DD that im away on 2day trip when its the youngest ones first birthday!...it was booked before she arrived though...(im upset too as i always love being at their 1st birthdays) but theres no other day the trip goes on😔
Never the same present! Where is the joy if your sibling opens it first!
At one they don’t need much so money for when they are older is much better.
I'm the grandmother of twins, boy and a girl who are now 7.
We've always bought individual presents but their mum (my DD) does only buy one cake but personalises it for one half each.
They also have a helium balloon each of their age which is personalised.
We have twin daughters. Never give them the same present is my advice. I wanted them in separate classes at school. One loves being a twin the other doesnt.
I agree with what everyone else has said. Our twin grandchildren (a boy and a girl) have always been treated individually as far as presents and cards are concerned and are never referred to as “ the twins”. Their only joint present was a trampoline. They went to separate secondary schools and are now at separate colleges.Their relationship has always been like that of any other brother and sister rather than having the closeness of a twin.
Not a twin, but I share my birthday with my younger sister.
We always had separate (small) cakes, mine chocolate, hers vanilla. I think because they are young, it is fine to share.
For a first birthday I don't think it matters if you get two smaller gifts or one big one. I presume the cake will only get eaten by the grown-ups so definitely just one!
Later on, a gift each is best - but most times a different gift each as parents really don't want two of everything cluttering things up. Hopefully they will share their toys amicably!
My sister had twins, but she also had a child eighteen months older. My mother always made sure the older child had an ‘unbirthday’ present until she was a little older!
Thank you all for the great advice. I was thinking along the lines of separate gifts and cards anyway. I thought I’d get similar cards but personalised with their names. I like the idea of similar gifts but not identical I’m sure their parents won’t want two of every single toy. Also thank you for the advice about the cake, I’ll definitely ask first if they’d like one. So glad I asked!
I'm with Suzie in that my twin granddaughters have separate gifts except for the "big " ones - climbing frame etc - no one wants two of these! My daughter goes for a joint cake. Like many modern parents she's avoiding too much sugar.
I’m a grandma of twins (boy and girl) now 13 . They always had their own cards and presents except for their 3rd birthday when they had a climbing frame , but also small individual presents. They shared a cake but with separate candles and each name . They
had separate birthday parties one year ! But their first birthday is mainly for the parents and very special …
Always treat them as individuals, 2 cards and 2 gifts.
My twin daughters (nearly 40) still have the same gifts from me. This year they both had pyjamas but a different style to suit their individual tastes.
I have to be careful if buying different things as they are on the lookout for favouritism!
One year olds are not aware of their first birthdays parties at all
Talk to the parents - it is a milestone for them, much more if they were premature, had/have health issues, etc
Also ask if parents want you to bake the cake(s) - you may not want to steal a first
Our twins were one last week. Separate cards and gifts were very much appreciated by their parents as treating them as two individuals not two halves of a perfect whole. We ensured the cards were similar but different, and the gifts different. They will play with each other's gift anyway. One cake is acceptable or two very small cakes if preferred. If you make one cake you might want to ice each name and provide a candle for each child. Enjoy the celebrations.
Our mum always said she was determined we would not be addressed as ' The twins" but by our first names - how right she was !
Giving twins joint gifts, cards etc. is the same as giving Christmas Day birthday children one gift for both celebrations.
We have several sets of twins in our family, also Christmas Day birthdays.
I am a twin , but them a gift each - not the same . I always said if I had twins I would probably send them to different schools to avoid the inevitable comparisons! Having said that I love being a twin , we have been together from conception. I believe that individuality should be encouraged, even if that happens the bond will not be broken. Bring a twin is great , but being compared throughout childhood is not so great. Our parents treated us as individuals but we did share a birthday cake , I remember thinking " wonder what it would be like to have a cake just for me " Enjoy their birthday party !
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