help with bonding with grandchild

I can empathise. When my granddaughter was small I was invisible to her when her grandad (my ex) was around and I found it hard, but as she grew older she gravitated towards me until nowadays she doesn't want to go home when she's at my place (she's seven). I never attempted to pick her up unless she came to me; I think some very small children can be put off by that.

I remember crouching down in the hall as little DGD arrived, arms outstretched for a hug. She rushed straight past me to Grandad.
He's always been her favourite although I'm the one who played, cooked with her, read to her etc.

She's older now, the first thing she always says is "Where's Grandad?"

My first grandchild did this but only when her Mummy was present.

We did child care 2 days a week for her and she was fine without Mummy.

On her 3rd birthday she refused to talk to me or her other grandmother as her Mum was there.

I think it was some sort of allegiance thing.

I would agree with the smother comment.

I had the same issue with eldest GD who lived in another country. I saw her about every 3 months or so from when she was born but even after staying for 3 weeks to help out when brother was born, she still preferred anyone else to me! However, by the time she was 3 or 4, we had a much better relationship😀.
One thing I've noticed is that small children don't like being "smothered " - resist the urge to hug or make a big fuss of them if they're not keen.

thank you 🩷

Thank you. 🩷

We had this problem in reverse. DD would never go to my father. We thought perhaps because he tried too hard or held her too tight. One day he came home with a blue plastic wheelbarrow and they became firm friends. I’m not saying you should buy a wheelbarrow but she is a little girl and will come round. Just don’t try too hard.

Little ones have their favourites I’m afraid , nothing you’ve done wrong, maybe she sees her grandad as more cuddly who knows? They are developing all the time and their ways of thinking aren’t the same as an adult. Carry on playing and talking to her and try not to be offended by the little ones’ normal behaviour, maybe just make a joke of it - “poor nanny doesn’t get a cuddle ! “ “ lucky grandad gets all the cuddles!”- try to make her laugh and don’t make an issue of it.

Meant to say that she is 18 months old.