Only children

I have two daughters, eldest can't have children, youngest has adopted so I have only one grandchild and that's it.

Doesn't it all even out Biglouis?
I have several child-free friends to create balance.
The population is aging and the birthrate in western Europe dropping fast so the whole demographic is rapidly changing.

I won't be here to see but hopefully my DGC lives will be fulfilled and not a scramble for survival.

I was raised as an only child, but later in life found that I had four siblings.

I dont have any children and would love to have been an only child. I never wanted any siblings and made my feelings quite clear. at the time. Especially as my parents made no secret of the fact that my sister was the golden child.

Many environmental activists now argue that more than one child is selfish because of the resources that children consume and the waste they generate. If you bring children into an over populated world then their carbon footprint gets added to your account.

Thankyou Farmor that is what I meant to imply.
Not to do with material goods at all.
I have lost touch with those former neighbours now and wonder if those girls are now mothers, and if so if they only have one child!

I am an "only" and so was my father but the grandparents I know about (3 of the 4);were all from huge families - 7, 11, 13 children.

I don't know if that's helpful Gundy

Without reading any further (I’ll go back…) my thoughts about being an “only” (I am not) is one of privilege but a lonely life when grown. Unless you have lots of aunts/uncles and cousins galore… you’ll be okay. You have “family.”

But my observation - the tendancy is those that only have one child, are “onlys” themselves, coming from a line of low procreators… pretty soon it could be the end of a lineage. That’s sad.

Oh well, life goes on elsewhere.

Not to me.
I thought the point was about impact on the planet!

Grammaretto said:
"Friends had one DC but when she was 4 they were advised that if having a small family was a response to a crowded planet, they should think again as only children generally wanted more themselves.
So they gave her a sister."

I thought it was clear that she meant that only children tended to want more than one child themselves.

Farmor15 I didn't quite understand what this meant... It sounded like they were greedy and wanted more "stuff".

It's sad in a way but the single one I have gets so much attention and goes to lots of clubs and can afford the ski trip etc. He now has 2 young cousins who live in the next street and all spend a lot of time with other gran and grandad.I think he will be OK.

NotSpaghetti

I'd like to know where the idea only children generally wanted more themselves came from..

I don't know if it's generally true as I'm the only "only" I can think of among my circle of friends! But in my own case it was definitely true - I wanted 3 but ended up with 5.
When I was growing up, only children were very unusual- in my school class there were no others.

Both DH and I were only children and wanted not to repeat that pattern so had two quite close together. They had no cousins, which was sad as we both liked our own cousins, but although they can get on perfectly well they are not close. I had a very idealised idea of sibling relationships!

One DGD is an only and the most well adjusted and sociable girl imaginable, good at making and keeping friends and much more tolerant than her parents. I guess the personality you are born with is the deciding factor.

I have two DDs, they each have an only, but fortunately they only live 4 miles apart so the children see each other frequently.

I'm not an only child but I certainly feel like one.

No I don’t jump to conclusions Shelflife and what I said certainly wasn’t meant as a personal statement
I took your statement If parents have one child that child will usually inherit everything so a bonus there I think! to be a general statement not about you or your family and my answer was about what you said not about you personally

Just shows how easily the written word can be wrongly interpreted

I was an only child. I knew every day of my life that my parents loved me. Sadly in my mid-20s they both died very suddenly within a year and three weeks of each other and they were in their mid-50s.
I have two children and they each have two children. I consider myself to be very lucky with my family situation.

I have two siblings. Growing up was very difficult for us with an abusive father.
We didn't bond with each other at all, in fact he drove a mountain between my sister and I.
I only had one. I'm not a natural mother unfortunately.
I'm doing better at the grandma role and have 3 gorgeous grandchildren.

I'd like to know where the idea only children generally wanted more themselves came from..

Another only here. I actually agree with JdotJ about social skills, though it may be down to personality as much as being an only child. I did have friends, but went to an all girls school, and felt very awkward in mixed company for a few years after I left school.
I didn't like being an only child, partly because there was so much focus on my behaviour so that I wasn't "spoilt". I had to be a "good" girl and never got away with anything!
I ended up with 5 children - certainly didn't want just 1. When they were young I realised what I had missed out on - squabbling and fighting as well as fun times together.

Friends had one DC but when she was 4 they were advised that if having a small family was a response to a crowded planet, they should think again as only children generally wanted more themselves.
So they gave her a sister.

We had 4 and 3 have 2 each but one DGC is a singleton. He's very happy and doesn't seem to miss siblings.

I am one of 3 and am very glad to be.

Good grief - we might be an only child, but we aren’t oddities!

Totally agree Notspaghetti and GSM

Absolutely NotSpaghetti. Only children don’t live in a bubble with no friends or family of all ages with whom to converse. I think having greater opportunities to converse with adults was a positive benefit.

I think you are wrong JdotJ when you say -

Being an only gives you no social skills

Why would that be?
I think my social skills and those of other "onlys" I know are as good as the next person.
I don't think they would be any better if I had siblings.

I learned to mix with all sorts and all ages, had to converse with adults as well as other children, was included in "grown up" discussios from a relatively young age, worked in a shop and a restaurant in my teenage years.... I wasn't locked in a room on my own all day!

What I did have was the opportunity for solitude if I wanted it and other privileges of only children.

The downside is the weight of parental hopes and dreams for you to be the very best at everything! There is nobody to share the weight of their aspirations. Maybe there are a lot of "high achieving" onlys?...

I think we can also be stronger - and probably quite independent.