DIL posh family - advice needed

You were not on that thread, as far as I recall, therefore you cannot possibley know what was said.

Exactly the reason why having leant support to your view, I felt the need to be even handed and say we did not know what was written by either of you as, although you had referred to a post from another thread, you had not quoted it. It is not appropriate to blame another poster using "remembered" comments. You really should have either quoted the post or not referred to it at all. As I pointed out, that is why it has always been against the rules.

You shouldn’t have to. I have no difficulty in believing your version of events.

Thank you. GSM.

However, why on earth do I have to defend my self against an anonymous poster, with whom I have little or no interaction?
It's all very strange.

I wouldn’t doubt for one moment what you say Marydoll. Many of us have been subjected to personal attacks and we remember exactly what was said, and by whom - though to name them would break guidelines. You are a very intelligent and well-educated lady, able to analyse what was said to you rather than be misled by bias or misunderstanding.

POSSIBLY not possibley.

It wouldn't be what someone said about themselves, but what they said about others that might lead someone to reach that conclusion..

I found the implication in that comment made about me offensive, Daisy Anne.
You were not on that thread, as far as I recall, therefore you cannot possibley know what was said.
Furthermore I suspect that you deliberately choose to misinterperet what some posters say.
When a poster makes personal attacks, you know they have lost the argument.

...and yes I have pigeon holed you too.

Are you OK DaisyAnnReturns?

JaneJudge

Most people were just sharing their own experiences which is how these forums work.

The OP pigeon-holed her DIL and family. Someone chose to present their biased view of another's past post. People started picking on words which it's reasonable to assume are not used by all and then more and more it became an attack on certain groups. Maybe that's what you see as "sharing experiences" JaneJudge. That's not how I would describe it.

I suppose I’m in the forcing my opinion on others pigeon hole 😂 nothing could actually be further from the truth. I’m happy to listen to what others have to say, sometimes I will change my mind, sometimes I will just have a better understanding of why people feel differently to me. If I challenge people on threads it’s for want of a better understanding, not so I can dictate to others.

DaisyAnneReturns

JaneJudge

I don’t think oik is a very nice word to call people either

But I notice it's in common enough use for even those who find drawing room "weird" to understand it.

apparently it was a word used at my late husband's Public School to describe scolarship boys.. so not nice I agree JJ

Most people were just sharing their own experiences which is how these forums work.

Or people could avoid pigeon holes entirely.

That would certainly be a win. Until such time I might just continue to let those who do it, oh so often, (even making new ones up) find they too can be pigeon-holed.

There seems to be a confusion here about being ‘posh’ ( or U, or whatever you like to call it) and having money. They aren’t closely connected. People with lots of money can be very un-posh, and people with little money can be ‘posh’. It’s more about education, speech, background and values than about money.

JaneJudge

I don’t think oik is a very nice word to call people either

But I notice it's in common enough use for even those who find drawing room "weird" to understand it.

Sago

Germanshepherdsmum

Perhaps not using the word ‘posh’ would be good.

👏👏👏👏.

It’s a dreadful word, I would like to put posh and common into room 101.

Agreed, better descriptors are available.

Or people could avoid pigeon holes entirely.

I'm not able to discern who has a pot of money, I'm not their accountant, they may have debt, high expenses and needs. Silly worry, imo.

I don’t think oik is a very nice word to call people either

MerylStreep

DaisyAnneReturns

Your opinion JaneJudge. Are you insisting we all share yours?

And another Fun Sponge posting.

Useful term.

Germanshepherdsmum

Perhaps not using the word ‘posh’ would be good.

👏👏👏👏.

It’s a dreadful word, I would like to put posh and common into room 101.

Gloryanny Scott Fitzgerald is supposed to have said once to Ernest Hemingway, 'You know, the rich are different from you and me. ' Hemingway replied, 'Yes. They've got more money.'

Oscar Wilde had Lord Darlington quip that a cynic was 'a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

In the first, this applies wherever there is a disparity in income, say someone on benefits and someone on the average wage.

In the second, this was written by a man to be said by a man about a group of other men, no women involved at all.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

I had to look up that term. I may use it in the future. 😉

Germanshepherdsmum

Perhaps not using the word ‘posh’ would be good.

Indeed GSM.

DaisyAnneReturns

But if one exists in your home what else would you call it? You seem to just want to insult people who have large homes - I have never come across anyone calling their only reception room a "drawing room". From here this just looks like one very large emotional chip on your shoulder.

Perhaps you can give us an alternative name for a drawing room that is a drawing room.

This one makes me chuckle. As far as I know, Joseann herself is very wealthy and very posh, so why on earth would she insult people who have large homes?

Indeed. What a great start to the year.

I had to Google Funsponge but yes, what an appropriate word.