DIL posh family - advice needed

Daisy Anne has accused me of all sorts of nonsense MayDoll

No, I haven't.

You objected to my initial post, but I wonder if you actually read it.

My first line was a modified agreement.

Education can indeed change circumstances Marydoll but you are still the same person.

Please tell me what the problem is with that. I agreed with you.

The second sentence was Your "deprived background" and your description of it would not make you an inverted snob* Again, I agree with what you told us.

The * related to the definition of "inverted snob", to which I added ^It wouldn't be what someone said about themselves, but what they said about others that might lead someone to reach that conclusion Again a definition with no suggestion that is what you did. Simply saying that is when a description of the past becomes inverted snobbery.

That's it! That's all I said in my first post. You then said you didn't understand what I meant (?)

The conversation went off on to several people offering belittling comments about napkins and drawing rooms, etc.

M0nica suggested It is usually poorer people who get all embarrassed around richer people and decide unilaterally and without aany evidence that the wealthier person is looking down on them.

No one objected.

I suggest, in a general reply about "drawing-room", that ... this just looks like one very large emotional chip on your shoulder.
This was after a post from Joseann saying
There is nothing wrong with the word. It's weird in the sense that it is unusual and out of the ordinary these days, even for posh people!

You replied: This all getting a bit silly and personal D,A. You appear to have misinterpretated what some of us have posted.

As if the petty conversations about napkins and drawing rooms were not, already, silly and intended to be personal. Or are you saying that wasn't the posters intention?

As you had said you didn't understand my post - which I read as being upset I had not given you the support you desired, I explained about only hearing one side and feeling that, in that case, it was wrong to assume anything.

And since then every one of your so-called "friends" has done you no favours (although you seem pleased) by continuing to tell me what to think and what to say and prolonging the agony of this thread.

Marydoll’s friends here are genuine, not ‘so called “friends “‘. They have shown her support in the face of an unwarranted attack on her integrity. Why on earth must you continue this? However long does it take you to pick through the bones of pages of posts to post yet again in an attempt to justify yourself? Has anyone shown you one iota of support? Marydoll’s friends are interested only in supporting her - some of us know exactly how it feels to be singled out for your attack du jour.

PamelaJ1

I expect the OP has given up but just in case….. my mum and dad had a Lancashire accent, I grew up elsewhere so and then have lived all over the U.K. so never picked up an accent from any particular area. So I sound posh. I am certainly not any posher than my sister who lives in Lancashire so says bath whilst I say baaath.
I shouldn’t think it’s an issue with your DinL, if your grandchildren are used to using the word sofa then it’s not surprising that she picked up on it, she didn’t mean anything by it.
We helped our DD and SinL to buy a house whilst his parents couldn’t contribute. We certainly didn’t think any less of them.
I hope they didn’t think we did.
Just relax and be yourself. They love you.

The word POSH is dreadful, is it complimentary or derogatory?
Why not well spoken, affluent, privileged, cultured?
Please posters before typing this hideous word think of an alternative!

You're a solicitor Germanshepherdsmum albeit not in this area. Where exactly have I attacked Marydoll. Not where you chose to think I have, but where have my words attacked her?

daisyannereturns... I think you are just hurting yourself by continuing this discussion... it's not worth it..

I am no longer a solicitor DAR. I am a retired solicitor. I am not going to engage with you. It is futile.

The word posh is not dreadful. This is my new posh china tea cup. There is nothing dreadul about it being called posh. I could use other words but why when posh describes it exactly, especially when it's compared to what we were drinking china tea from before, which vessels were completely adequate but definitely not posh.

Even when posh is used as a slur, it's not the word that is the problem.

Germanshepherdsmum

I am no longer a solicitor DAR. I am a retired solicitor. I am not going to engage with you. It is futile.

It is, because I didn't Germanshepherdsmum. Your answer comes as no suprise.

Thank you for you thoughtful words pascal. I think the pursuit of justice is always worth the effort. But the pursuit of lunch is going to override it for a while.

Baggs that's beautifull. Whose design is it?

Baggs

The word posh is not dreadful. This is my new posh china tea cup. There is nothing dreadul about it being called posh. I could use other words but why when posh describes it exactly, especially when it's compared to what we were drinking china tea from before, which vessels were completely adequate but definitely not posh.

Even when posh is used as a slur, it's not the word that is the problem.

Baggs I love a good tea cup and yours is beautiful, exquisite, fine, gorgeous, quality, pretty, elegant, stylish, luxurious and I could go on.

Is it Japanese, Baggs? It’s gorgeous.

Well ….. I read the OP and my initial reaction was to decide it seemed unlikely to be genuine. I’ve had a long walk and decided to catch up.
Marydoll - I’m amazed at the persistent attacks and goady responses to those posters who have supported you. The constant refrain from DAR that what she calls the ‘attacks’ from her would stop if only everyone else refrained from commenting.
This has to be one of the most peculiar outbreaks of hostility I’ve seen on gransnet.

Chin up Marydoll

👏👏👏

This thread (or rather, the way in which it has been hijacked) is a perfect illustration of why some posters feel they have been forced out of GN as a result of the hostility to which they have been subjected by one particular member. And it's pointless reporting said person to GN as no action is ever taken.

Really Iam? You feel I should be content to let these people, who can't explain where I "attacked" Marydoll, as they call it, descend on me as they have - and now you want to start the whole thing again?

So you tell me what I said that was an attack on her. Marydoll took umbridge simply because I was less fulsome with my sympathy than she required and more sympathetic with the member she accused than she wanted to hear.

Now is anyone else wanting to put the knife in? I will be around for a while.

So you are now seven or eight, MissInterpreted accusing one person of "attacking" another who herself said she didn't understand a fairly simple post.

Who is being driven out? The eight or the one? Reading your post seems like a direct attempt to do just that. This is an excellent example of group bullying.

I did not say anything to Marydoll that was an attack. If you think I did, quote it.

MissInterpreted

This thread (or rather, the way in which it has been hijacked) is a perfect illustration of why some posters feel they have been forced out of GN as a result of the hostility to which they have been subjected by one particular member. And it's pointless reporting said person to GN as no action is ever taken.

I agree.

You know how the newspapers have a “silly season” in August on the assumption that everybody is on holiday and there’s no “real news” ?
This must be Gransnet’s “silly season” as I have rarely seen such a motley collection of weird threads, lost plots and terriers at rabbit holes.

I can think of couple of appropriate NY resolutions …..

👏👏

I know you attacked Marydoll, DAR, but I am not so foolish as to be goaded into quoting. Do not consider my refusal to engage as assent. It is not.

No one wants to put the knife in, no one wants to hurt you. The only person you are hurting is yourself please show some respect and you will get it in return. Continually lashing out in anger is self destroying. Be the bigger and better person and walk away. Silence says a thousand words.

I have reported this thread.

You’re not alone kitty.

kittylester

I have reported this thread.

Good idea kitty.