Gransnet forums

Grandparenting

What to charge resident grandson for board and lodging

(46 Posts)
Tee1 Mon 08-Jan-24 14:18:41

My 18 year old grandson is staying with us for an indefinite period whilst his application to join the forces is processed. He has offered to pay towards his keep. He has a shop job so is not earning much. We and is parents thing it a good thing for him to start to learn to budget etc. but I don’t know how much to ask for - what percentage of his small income to ask for. He is a lovely boy and is being very helpful around the house and doing his own washing etc. Any suggestions, please

Davisuz Wed 10-Jan-24 12:54:33

Interesting thread. I was asked years ago to lodge a young relative just starting work. At the time I was a single parent and not well off. When I said I would need a contribution for food and utilities (just to cover costs) the request was hastily dropped and the said relative moved in with well off grandparents who charged nothing! Having someone else living in your home cost money and at the very least they should pay for food!

GardenofEngland Wed 10-Jan-24 13:02:24

My oldest grandson is coming to live with me for 6 months so he can save to go on a working travel visa to Australia. I'm not charging him anything so hopefully he can go ASAP and I'm encouraging him to re take his driving test. I see it as me giving him some much needed help which he has had very little of. I'd rather help him now than leave him money after I die!

newnanny Wed 10-Jan-24 13:14:33

If he's bringing home over £200 per week then he could pay £50 a week tomcover good and electricity.

missdeke Wed 10-Jan-24 13:19:39

When my son started work he too made the suggestion that he should pay towards his keep. He was only on apprentice wages so not earning much at all. He suggested that he should deduct his expenses, e.g. travel to work, clothes for work etc and he would give me half of what was left. I found that more than reasonable from a teenaage lad.

silverlining48 Wed 10-Jan-24 13:19:50

I don’t think it’s doing young people any favours by not asking for a reasonable contribution towards the cost of their keep.
We cover all expenses while they are at school but to carry this on once they are working is not helpful.
As has been said some or all of it may be returned at the end if their stay to go towards whatever they are doing. To not charge anything at all isn’t teaching them anything and when they do have to pay themselves they will find budgeting for bills very difficult.
Obviously it’s a choice everyone makes for themselves.

DianaLouise Wed 10-Jan-24 13:35:28

when my children started work we asked for 10% of their earnings so fair to both. It was kept in a separate account and when they eventually bought their own houses had this money returned to buy their white goods etc

TanaMa Wed 10-Jan-24 13:43:33

Not exactly the same as above but -
If you had the facilities (as I have) would you charge a GD for grazing, use os stable, tack room and hay barn?
At present I don't as for anything and, as she is my GD, she doesn't think she should pay anything! However, I still have to pay a helper for work around the stable area and the upkeep of the field! Recently paid a large sum to re-roof the stables and tack room.

biglouis Wed 10-Jan-24 13:48:20

My parents had a very hard headed approach to my paying for "board" when I left school at 16. Every £ I gave my mother went straight onto my sisters back!

When I changed jobs to one that paid by bank transfer (and a 25% raise for shift working) I took an equally hard headed approach and handed over the same amount. My parents never learned what I earned until I left home. However they took a very miserly approach when I was on a student grant and studying for exams. I was only allowed to enroll for the course if I contued to give them the same amount as when I was working.

Children today whose parents fund them through uni and pay their rent for them do not know they are born. Like a previous poster I never asked for financial help from my parents once I left the parental home. I had already learned the value of money and things and it made me a hard headed business woman.

Cossy Wed 10-Jan-24 14:43:53

I’d ask for £120 a month and put £100 of it aside each month then give it back to him. I’d also continue to encourage him to help around the house

Norah Wed 10-Jan-24 14:58:48

Perhaps ask what he is earning, what full boarding costs, and ask him to pay real costs. Nothing learned at cut rate, the lesson being costs.

As he is going into Forces and everything will be provided to him (I believe), I can't imagine what he would need a pot of saved money. Generous, regardless.

melp1 Wed 10-Jan-24 17:01:46

Once read that the amount you should ask your children for is the same percentage of their income as the percentage of your income that is paid out on your bills.
Depends if hes having all his meals with you.

Fairislecable Wed 10-Jan-24 17:22:16

My son is in the military and it took 6 months from acceptance to entrance so he may be with you for some time.

He also had to take an iron and ironing board, coat hangers, shoe polishing kit and also a suit and lots of other bits and pieces, so he may want to save up for when he gets his kit list.

I would take a third of his take home pay and set it aside (but not tell him) this gives you the option to use it or gift it as the need arises.

Saggi Wed 10-Jan-24 18:39:18

If you can afford the amount of food an 18 yr can consume , then I’d do what already been said ….take £20 a week and save itto give him when he leaves. I did this for my son …who came back home after being made redundant 20 years ago …he list his rented flat…. I charged him about £15 per week then , and gave him a nice surprise when he found another job and another flat….it took him 6 months , but I seem to remember the amount I gave him was his first months rent !! .

Romola Wed 10-Jan-24 19:38:15

I've got my GS staying during his Christmas vacation from university. I'm not charging him, of course, but I sure am noticing the extra expense on food heating and laundry. If he stayed for any length of time, yes I would expect a contribution of about £200 a month.

Mojack26 Wed 10-Jan-24 21:23:11

Agree

RVK1CR Thu 11-Jan-24 04:13:57

Take him shopping when you buy the weekly food, laundry products etc. so that he knows what it costs. If he is getting £200 a week ask for £50 and say you have to pay utilities as well. If you can afford to save some for him put it in an account for when he eventually gets his own place, it will be a nice surprise. Meanwhile he will learn the cost of living.

Perseus Thu 11-Jan-24 07:14:11

I am in the same situation. I charge mine £60 a month to cover added energy costs, that's all. He does a lot for me around the house that I would otherwise gave to pay for. It sounds like your grandson does the same.
I agree they have to learn that life has to be paid for...but there is nothing wrong with giving him a helping hand at this stage in his life. He sounds like hes not taking you for granted at all.

silverlining48 Thu 11-Jan-24 09:27:19

£60 per month? That’s £15 a week for everything. He will be in shock when he has to fork out £200 ot £300 per week just fir his accommodation without anything else.
Unless you are super wealthy ( and even if you are) Perseus he should be insisting that he pays you more.

silverlining48 Thu 11-Jan-24 09:28:03

Sorry not my business but .....

jocork Thu 11-Jan-24 09:48:22

When my daughter moved home to live with me we agreed that I wouldn't charge her rent as she was saving to buy her own place, however I couldn't afford to cover everything as obviously my utilities went up as did council tax as I lost the single resident discount. We split the utilities equally and the same with grocery shopping. I wrote everything down and we settled up monthly. She paid the council tax every month along with my phone and broadband which were already on her account for complex historic reasons, so every month we settled up and one of us paid whatever we owed to the other.

That reminds me - I owe her a month's phone and broadband! She moved abroad last year but still pays that bill for me.

When my brother moved home my mum knew he wasn't good with money so took board and lodging off him. When he eventually bought his own place she gave him everything back which she'd saved in a separate account.