"Grandparenting " course, would you go? ?

That's it, it can often be taken as criticism of their parenting, but when we know better we do better. We think back to how our babies were in car seats/carrycots/in the car etc and compare it to how our parents did the car, if they had one, now we look to what is available now and how much safer it is for children in cars nowadays. we did what was best at the time, and are happy to move on, hope this is a non-controversial example.
And yes, how a baby's gut develops, about allergies, which have always been a thing but often put down to fussiness, many other things, and I think it's a biggie, how a baby's mind develops. A good read on this is a book by Margot Sunderland, published both as The Science of Parenting and What Every Parent Needs to Know:, She is a top Child psychologist, who has worked with children for decades.
Another thing is that unless you are around babies and small children, people forget what really happened, and what it was like living 24/7 with a small person. It wasn't always how you remembered it, I know cos I was there. For example, it was regrettably not uncommon for babies to be given meds to make them drowsy, or as I once witnessed, whisky sucked off a finger. Someone I knew back then tried to persuade me to give a common antihistamine to my teething baby, now not allowed for such young children, I was aghast, no way would I ever do that, but I was told that most mums used it, it wasn't a big deal, well it was a big deal to me. Also, many parents have to both work nowadays, it did happen back 40 years ago when I started having babies, but not so common, so life is so different.

kittylester

Surely, people discuss these things with their children.

This

sarahcyn, neither do I. Grandparents seem to take any advice about child rearing as criticism of their parenting rather than an update based on new research. Even First Aid courses have changed over the years so a refresher is advised.
I do remember having a bit of a shock moment when my DIL wrote her list of instructions but after thinking about it and doing a bit of research, I realised that it was actually me who was out of step. It was a light bulb moment that I might not be as perfect as I thought I was.

@oodles exactly what I find with my new parent clients.
We know so much more about the baby’s gut than we did before. I don’t really get why anyone would feel affronted at the suggestion that knowledge has changed, yet the same people will accept that knowledge about, for example, how cancers develop has developed considerably in the past 30-40 years.

For sure yes. I do a lot of work with new parents and often a big stress point is their parents do not understand how now we know better we do better. I did that with you and you survived is a pretty low bar. Some GPS undermine the parents trying for example, to give solids way before 6 months, and it is so stressful for the parents trying to do the right thing.

I’m not a grandma yet, but I think it’s an interesting idea. Ideas do change from one generation to the next (and sometimes come full circle) and it never hurts to know the modern way of doing things, which might be very different. A friend of mine is a grandmother to a seven month old baby and she was telling me just how different things are now, particularly weaning. Our ways worked for us but it doesn’t mean that they were necessarily the best ways. I think a course like this could be very helpful, possibly a one day course. I also like the idea of a paediatric first aid course.

Too late for me now as GSs are nearly grown up, but I'd have been glad of a baby refresher course as an expectant granny. A lot of the advice had changed, all of which my rule-bound lawyer daughter thought she had to follow exactly, in contrast to her and her brother's infancy in the anything-goes early 70s. We both found GSs' infancy quite stressful. (Annabel Karmel, anyone?)

sarahcyn - towards the end of my career ( early years practitioner, school lead on looked after children) I attended some courses on what we now know about brain development, attachment theories and so on in the infant years. I found it utterly fascinating and useful to me in my work. There was a television series called " The Secret Life of Babies" which was absolutely amazing.
We're never too old to learn.

sarahcyn

Sounds pretty good, I also support the idea of paediatric first aid, I have done two adult first aid courses and would certainly do the child one if and when I ever have more grandchildren. I also think the allergy thing is very valid too.

Thank you @MissAdventure and @Grams2five. I tried interesting Gransnet in it when I started but they weren't interested at all.

No, and I’d be very annoyed if one of my children tried to send me on one.

The article in the Guardian reads as if the courses are an attempt to persuade some grandparents to fit in with whatever rules their AC operate under as parents. Grandparents who do their own thing are fairly impervious to anyone else’s opinion, so the idea seems doomed to failure to me!

sarahcyn

I actually teach an online grandparents course, though not one featured by the Guardian, alas. The focus of the course is not to "teach" people "how to be grandparents" or "how to look after babies". I sat in on a course that did that once and it was utter rubbish and super patronising.
Instead I focus on the research which has emerged in the past 30 years about infant development, the microbiome, brain development, the ingredients in formula and breastmilk, supporting parents' feeding choices, weaning, allergies...loads of stuff really and we often end up discussing how to manage changes in family relationships and dynamics.
The people who come on my course are intellectually curious and above all aware that things do not remain the same in any field. They certainly do not think my course is "ridiculous", @Nanna8! They are always a pleasure to meet, and running the sessions is the high point of my month as I get to meet such interesting people albeit on a Zoom call. I always follow up with a bulging online information pack of links to reputable resources, research, videos etc etc.

That sounds like a wonderful resource and exactly the sort of thing I’d have loved to take when becoming a new grandparent for the first time - as it was I spent a lot of time reading articles on such things myself. Because you’re right - ideas change and having more knowledge is wonderful

That sounds far more interesting. 🙂

I actually teach an online grandparents course, though not one featured by the Guardian, alas. The focus of the course is not to "teach" people "how to be grandparents" or "how to look after babies". I sat in on a course that did that once and it was utter rubbish and super patronising.
Instead I focus on the research which has emerged in the past 30 years about infant development, the microbiome, brain development, the ingredients in formula and breastmilk, supporting parents' feeding choices, weaning, allergies...loads of stuff really and we often end up discussing how to manage changes in family relationships and dynamics.
The people who come on my course are intellectually curious and above all aware that things do not remain the same in any field. They certainly do not think my course is "ridiculous", @Nanna8! They are always a pleasure to meet, and running the sessions is the high point of my month as I get to meet such interesting people albeit on a Zoom call. I always follow up with a bulging online information pack of links to reputable resources, research, videos etc etc.

Grapes, cut in half rather than whole.

Cut lengthwise, not across, and quartered lengthwise if they're big.

Sleep positions change all the time, and it seems swaddling is back.

Just the upper body though, the legs need to be left loose or it can cause hip problems.

The main point that is heavily stressed at our childminders' paediatric first aid courses (six hours online study and six hours face-to-face, plus an exam at the end, every three years) is the danger of liquid laundry and dishwasher detergent tabs.
Apparently children think they look like jelly sweets and bite into them, with disastrous consequences from the resulting internal chemical burns.
Last autumn we were told about a case where a child was admitted to hospital and it was ten days before the parents could be told if they would survive or not 😥
It really is a serious problem and these items need to be stored out of reach and out of sight.

I think it would be of more use for those anticipating the possibility of becoming a parent to attend a course. Some seem to have the idea that GPs will become unpaid carers, and take criticism without uttering a word.

I did discuss with DiL some things had changed from when I’d had my Son… and as babies I did listen. But from an early age, the boys used to tell Mommy and Daddy… Nannas house Nannas rules… Now aged 8 and 11… their rules… poor Grandad is run ragged 🤣😂🤣

Cossy, most advice is given after significant research so I guess the advice about peanut butter is probably following that.

icanhandthemback

I absolutely agree with the SIDS stuff and this is one of the pieces of advice I took very seriously, however all of my babies did sleep in my bed on occasions, I wish those cribs which clipped onto the side of the parents beds.

Even the advice around peanuts and peanut butter has changed now, with some practitioners advising pregnant women to eat regular small amounts of these things.

My 2 daughters have both survived and my youngest grandchild is 14 so I am doing okay. If they needed to tell me anything they did. End of story.

In my opinion, parenting classes are far more important. The emphasis should be on teaching parents what their role is and that grandparents are there to help out when needed, not be substitute parents. The things that some grandparents put up with are unbelievable.

Only in the 21st century would this question even be asked 🤔

From time immemorial grandparents particularly grandmothers have been helping to raise their grandchildren.

My great grandma looked after my dad and and siblings.
My grandparents lived afar but I stayed with them most school holidays, without the accompanying child care manual

My mum sadly died, but my dad was a hand's on grandfather.

We are hands on grandparents.

Must admit we having a couple of practice runs before becoming grandparents helped 😆

Maybe I would go. The world is different now and there are risks to our young people that we are not equipped to deal with. My children go for gentle parenting and I needed to learn how that works. We are never to old to learn a new approach!

Sago

I would certainly do a paediatric first aid course.

Yes. I did exactly that when I first started to look after my DGD. It was a three hour course that gave me a lot of confidence in up-to-date methods of dealing with things such as choking. Well worth the small amount of time and money..!

Nope I would not attend. Grandparenting should be as unique as parenting skills are.