3 year old Grandsons sudden Seperation Trauma

My GD used to cry herself to sleep, with her mum’s dressing gown next to her nose 😂

If he wont let you near him then definitely the best thing is to get out something he likes doing ...a toy like Duplo? or a game ..some colouring ...sit down near him; start doing the activity. Look at him occasionally but say nothing; don't coax etc. If he looks at you just open your arms and look at him. If he runs into your arms cuddle him. If he doesn't carry on playing; dont coax; let him choose. . If he begins to calm down open your arms and say do you want a cuddle? ...and so on, arms open, doing activity ....eventually he will engage as long as you are giving him the openings. Dont get upset ...he'll be fine; he's at the age when emotions just overwhelm. Good luck

V3ra

^They're not known as the Thunderous Threes for nothing 🙂^

Sometimes to be followed by the Ferocious Fours... 😳

😂

Actually, as soon as they start school, at perhaps four, they know absolutely everything 😂

Grannyjanni yes that seemed to be a turning point for her.

She is nearly nine now and super resilient…you should see her now at football training even in the pouring rain, and constantly begging for “sleep-overs” with friends and up for every new activity.😊

They're not known as the Thunderous Threes for nothing 🙂

Sometimes to be followed by the Ferocious Fours... 😳

Omg! That was him! Kicking screaming and crying - full of rage! Its weird cos its just come out of the blue. Think im going to try having a game or hoover or something to distract him when he comes. Hope your GD's fine now. Take it she grew out of it

Three year olds can have the most spectacular tantrums. They can be quite awe-inspiring; the Terrible Twos have nothing on them.

They're not known as the Thunderous Threes for nothing 🙂
Just ignore and do something else quietly, whilst making sure he doesn't hurt himself.

Youngest granddaughter screamed (roared in fact) whenever she was passed to other family members from birth. It was genuinely ear splitting and her Mum could barely move for the clinging! And she didn’t encourage it in any way.

Last time this happened she was about 3 years old, after being dropped off with older brother while Mummy attended a meeting. She managed to get the front door open, and cling to the garden fence, screaming the neighbourhood down! I “manoeuvred” her inside and sat holding her with my back against the front door while she raged and raged kicking the stairs, it was like a scene from the exorcist 🫨! Her brother just shrugged, said “she always does this” and continued watching Sean the Sheep whilest eating pizza Mum brought for them.

Finally GD flung herself down on the carpet and slept for an hour. What a relief … on waking she said yes to the saved pizza and ate it as bright as a button. 🫤

HelterSkelter1

I have the same with my DDs dog when I dog sit here. Loads of treats help.....I suppose not the done thing with GC.!

I'll stop having a paddy for snacks! 🤣🤣

Reminds me of when my daughter went to speech therapy when she was about 3. I told the ST my daughter was very clingy “we’re used to that” she said “she will be fine.” Daughter started to cry as I left but ST insisted I go and come back in an hour.

I went back just before the hour was up to find the ST standing outside with my daughter dressed up in her coat and hat again howling her eyes out. The ST said they got nothing done at all neither did anybody else in the building! 🤣🤣 she pushed her towards me and ran back inside.

I've often had this with my minded children over the years.
As everyone else says it's not uncommon, just carry on as normal, don't try and sweet-talk them round, have something set out ready to distract them and they soon settle down.
I wait until they're back to their happy self, take a photo and WhatsApp it to their parent. Sometimes they'll barely have pulled off my drive!

Please don't cry in front of him

He won't be able to learn to control his emotions if you can't

Instead just be calm and reassuring and keep smiling

Try to start an engaging activity before they leave that he will want to return too.

Ask them to leave with as little fuss as possible, saying they will be back soon

Sounds pretty normal. Kids of that age can be odd. It’ll pass.🙂

Thank you. Its definitely distressing but the distraction with the duster or washing etc is good. I will try that next time.

Oh thats a great bit of advice. I'll try that next time. its weird because neither of mine went through thst but i suppose its a wee insecurity phase he's going through.

Thanks. It has just sort of come out of the blue? But thank you

I thought that myself (his Daddy works offshore) but it is so distressing to watch as he wont let me near him. Thanks

Please don't take this personally! If you can ' ignore' his tantrums but keep your eye on him . When they are in Screaming/ sobbing fits the more you try the worse it will become, by trying too hard you are rewarding his behaviour. Acknowledge he is distressed and show you care and then busy yourself around him , tidy a drawer , run a duster round , do a spot of washing up. Ask for his help , give him a duster or some rubbish to put in the bin - anything to distract him. Pretend you are ignoring him - he we will come round - eventually!! It may take some time but he will get there. Resist the instinct to try and cajole him - I doubt it will work. Whatever you do don't let him witness your distress, just stay with him and get on with a ' job' Good luck and remember his reaction is not your fault.

It's very much toddler behaviour Grannyjanni don't take it personally ( hard I know) if you get upset it will only compound things. As others have said, distraction is the way to go, start doing something you know will interest him then reassure when he calms down. Hopefully this stage won't last long- good luck.

My 3 1/2 Yr old Grandson goes to pre school now 2days a week. Only last week after my daughter left him he too had a melt down crying. After about 20 mins he calmed down and was fine. The Nursery told my daughter that it would happen at some stage.
He's only been going for about 6 weeks and this was the first time.
Apparently it's quite normal, I can remember my Daughter doing it too when I dropped her off as a little one.
Don't worry, it's nothing personal.

I have the same with my DDs dog when I dog sit here. Loads of treats help.....I suppose not the done thing with GC.!

My eldest grandson was like that. He would stand by the front door, after his mum had left, sobbing his heart out.
I used to get his favourite game out and play it and eventually he would come and sit with me and be happy again in minutes.

Stop being in tears. It's a normal stage of growing up and you need to remain calm. Acknowledge he's upset though. Reassure him that mummy will be back. Distraction is best as someone else has said.

I'd go and find something interesting to do, in another room.

There is no point in both of you getting upset.

Two of my grand children did that at the same age , and like you it could be about 25 - 40 minutes. It was distressing for us both . No quick fix , but in the middle of one tantrum I found myself suddenly looking very worried and announcing that we had forgotten to do something that needed immediate attention . It required a hunt all round the house and a hastily invented magical creature who needed our care . After 20 minutes looking in drawers and under beds we had forgotten the tantrum and the needy creature but found a forgotten toy to play with . No idea how this distraction thought came to me but after that we began each visit with a hunt and an activity that became part of the routine. They now find this story quite amusing .