Really not sure where............... ...

I suspect it is not an issue of whether you are paid or not! It seems to me that you should only do as much child care as is comfortable for you. It is bad enough that the children seem unable to communicate with you or eat meals you provide or are constantly on their screens but that combined with you doing too much child care is simply not reasonable. I am sure G . Netters have ' heard' this before from me and I make no apology for bringing it up again!! People become parents, and need to understand that GPs offer childcare on their terms! GPs are doing their AC a massive favour it is not the other way around!!! I ' hear' so often on here " ask the parents what they want , it's their decision". IMO that only goes so far , of course I would never make a huge decision without consulting my daughters , I would always check before taking them any distance. However day to day care in my house is my domain, I make 'rules ' that ensure I can keep my GC and me
safe , that way the GC and me are happy . I am fortunate in having DDs who trust my judgement and the children understand that when they are with us they play by our rules - it works! My DDs are thankful for what I can do , but I would not do more than I am comfortable with - and three days a week for me would be a very big NO!!

If the parents are happy with them using their iPads for things you don’t approve of I think you can’t change that in the couple of hours after school You don’t approve of the tv programmes they want to watch but unless you’re talking about stuff that is really not age appropriate I wouldn’t worry too much What is it they want to watch at 4 pm in the afternoon that you disapprove of ?? They ve been at school all day do they really need to do educationally stuff on iPads why can’t they chill out with a cartoon or something

Cant grandad get a ball and take them out to kick it around outside ? Or show them how to make a den sounds like they need some stimulation or you get them cooking with you, boys often love cooking My adult grandson used to love making stuff in the kitchen and although hes a big outdoor worker with muscles like a wrestler now he is a very good cook
Or just take them for a walk it sounds like they are bored
I remember playing football in the alley with my grandsons and they thought I was very good 🙃have some fun with them and they might look forward to coming to stay more

the other is constantly being told to turn his iPad down!!

Headphones might be an idea.

@BlueBelle They are at present 6 and 8 years old and I wouldn't have an issue with the iPads if they used them for educational purposes. But they seem to use them to ignore us (and watch rubbish that they used to watch on TV until we blocked those - think Youtube and other doubtful criteria which their Mum and dad say is okay!!) Although with the wide range of GCs we have - there is a plethora of games, colouring, crafting, books and toys they can do or play. They could even take a football and play on the green as it is right outside our house.
It is funny you say that we have a life too - but we were both saying that retirement is harder work than work itself used to be. But some of the ACs seem to think we have nothing better to do - DH is officially retired as he is of State pension age - whereas I still have a little over 3 years to reach that stage yet but redundancy was a bit of a gift - but I still feel I should be working!! lol!!
But I do understand that children can be little horrors at times and that they say unkind things - which can be hard when trying to stop WW3 breaking out - when I wish I could just switch off.
Right now - one of them is fast asleep and the other is constantly being told to turn his iPad down!! I get that they have a full day at school but they have such a long day and having to wait until they get home to have tea means they go to bed even later - but that's not my problem unless they are grumpy in the morning!!

@J52 We had considered saying about this when they said about paying us which had annoyed me - we look after other GCs too and don't take anything from any of our ACs.
But with potentially 3 kids in breakfast club and after school club and still having issues with long days would probably mean this is not feasible for them from the money POV.
SS and DiL both travel for work which explains the early drop offs and 6pm pick ups - but this means that they still have childcare issues as breakfast club does not start till 8.15am and after school club is only till 4.30pm!!

You don’t say what ages the children are ?
I don’t feel you should be worried when they say they don’t like you or your husband, kids often say things like that when things don’t go their way I also wouldn’t worry if they don’t want to engage or are on their iPads etc, presumably it’s only for a couple of hours after school they may be tired and had enough after a long day
Presumable all your children or step children live nearby so you will get pulled in with 10 nearly 11 grandkids and it’s up to you to say what you can comfortable manage to give whilst being fair to all the parents, but you’ve both got your life to live too

If they’re prepared to pay you, I’d suggest that they look for a before and after school club and pay them.