Gransnet forums

Grandparenting

Age to leave babyhood behind?

(109 Posts)
Kowl Fri 17-May-24 19:38:29

Grandson is 3 years 9 months.
He's still being given a bottle and there's no sign of them starting to get him out of nappies.
Is this normal now?

March Fri 17-May-24 22:32:09

The kid is in pre school or nursery.
It's not primary school.
He doesn't have to be in education.

He's borderline toddler and child.
Give him and his parents a break.
He will get there.
There could be other issues you have absolutely no idea about.

Poor lad isn't even 4 yet.

VioletSky Fri 17-May-24 22:22:01

Genuinely I know some TAs would complain about children coming in in nappies but in my experience once out of them they had accidents at a far lesser rate than children who had been potty trained for a while... And no TA would ever complain about a child having an accident so it isn't really logical to just let your child have accidents when a pull up could actually save them that embarrassment

flappergirl Fri 17-May-24 22:20:18

I can't help but think that disposable nappies have aided this situation. If parents still had to boil and dry terry nappies they might be less inclined to prolong things.

I don't think teachers should have to deal with kids in nappies, other than exceptional circumstances. The amount of children who can't use knives and forks is also alarming.

Glorianny Fri 17-May-24 22:16:33

Standards change. Boys were once kept in dresses until they were around the age of 5. They still grew up. So will your grandson. Try not to worry.

March Fri 17-May-24 22:15:51

If any child is a bullying and laughing at a child about this then that speaks volumes for the parents, not the kid that's developing at his own pace!

VioletSky Fri 17-May-24 22:13:20

Kowl

Aren't children bullied or laughed at about this VioletSky?

No, who would bully reception children?

March Fri 17-May-24 22:13:11

Pre school which is nursery so ages 3 to 4 in our school, no issues, nappies are fine being changed.
There for a few hours home.

When they were ready, actually ready not when a book or people tell you, they were potty trained within a few weeks.

Reception ages 5 wasn't as issue, few hiccups that's all.
Bottles till 3ish, dummies can't remember.

Both in high school now, no nappies, bottles or dummies in sight.

Little lad is 2.5 and absolutely zero signs of potty training.

No rush at all. They all get there eventually.

Galaxy Fri 17-May-24 22:09:48

No they cant refuse them, however more and more nurseries are asking parents to come in and change their children or will only offer half time place. Not if the child has additional needs obviously.

RosiesMaw Fri 17-May-24 22:06:26

No, it’s not.
Does he go to nursery? I don’t think his parents are doing him any favours. Imagine other children laughing at him at pre-school?
He may be able toilet train himself in a matter of days but if he has got used to the feel a wet/soiled nappy and likes it, I could foresee problems.
Is the bottle occasional? (Eg at bedtime?)
No not a good idea, I would have thought having his teeth would have indicated time to move on -maybe a sippy cup but soon a proper one.

Kowl Fri 17-May-24 22:05:36

Aren't children bullied or laughed at about this VioletSky?

Kowl Fri 17-May-24 22:04:33

I've just googled this. It says that schools are not allowed to refuse to take children who are still in nappies. That is a bit shocking to me and could be a whole thread on its own.

VioletSky Fri 17-May-24 22:02:04

More people are child led on these things now. Because it is known some children don't achieve full bladder control till as late as 9 in some cases.

Couple that with more patients both out at work etc, these things have become harder for tired parents to deal with

I wouldn't worry overly, Child led potty training is a lot easier, because it is what they want. I've had children come into school in pull-ups and when they decided they didn't want them and were ready, dry just like that.

Kowl Fri 17-May-24 22:00:25

I think he will have to be out of nappies to start Reception class in January. There are more staff per child in the Nursery class. What happens if he's not out of nappies?

Kowl Fri 17-May-24 21:57:40

Thanks March

zakouma66 Fri 17-May-24 21:57:24

Its not OK for a teacher with 29 other children to care for though surely?

March Fri 17-May-24 21:54:08

It's ok if that's what you mean.
Every toddler and child gets there eventually.
3 kids down and none of them have been potty trained before 3.

Parent shaming isn't ok now tho 🙄

Kowl Fri 17-May-24 21:52:36

He attends nursery class at the local primary school for 2 hours each afternoon. He's supposed to be going for 3 hours each morning in Spetember and then full-time from January next year. My daughter puts a clean nappy on him to go and changes him when he gets home. I wonder if they think he will just wake up one day and use a potty and drink out of a cup by magic.

zakouma66 Fri 17-May-24 21:52:16

Its not a competition but some children start full time school at 4.

Kowl Fri 17-May-24 21:45:04

There's been no attempt to get him to use a potty and no attempt to get him to use a sippy cup. It's all the time, not just at night. It's just so different from how things were when my children were toddlers. I don't understand it. The longer they baby him the harder it will be and I worry about him. Mine were all out of nappies in the day by the age of 2 and went from breastmilk straight to sippy cups. I just wondered if this had become the norm, so thanks for the answers. Monica's answer made me laugh, it's a shame I feel so upset for my grandson though.

GrannyIvy Fri 17-May-24 21:41:58

My girls were potty trained at 2 and dry at night very soon after. Boys are a little slower I’ve been told and indeed my grandsons were. It does seem different these days with weaning and potty training no pressure on doing it as early as we did.

Urmstongran Fri 17-May-24 21:38:49

Blimey.

M0nica Fri 17-May-24 21:32:09

Kowl leave your grandsons parents to deal with the problems alone when they arise.

They go themselves into this mess, leave them to get themselves out of it.

Grams2five Fri 17-May-24 20:50:20

Calipso

My daughters do things very differently to the way I did things. They are much more relaxed about timescales and babyhood is gone in the blink of an eye so I think, in most respects, that they have it right. They are wonderful parents and my grandchildren are growing up loved and secure. Who could ask for more?

Exactly this! I try not to stick my nose in with worry even when it’s different than how we did it, after all o know I did things very different than my own mum back in the day too. So long as the kids are happy and loved and the drs aren’t concerned I’m happy too.

Calipso Fri 17-May-24 20:43:32

My daughters do things very differently to the way I did things. They are much more relaxed about timescales and babyhood is gone in the blink of an eye so I think, in most respects, that they have it right. They are wonderful parents and my grandchildren are growing up loved and secure. Who could ask for more?

1summer Fri 17-May-24 20:36:49

Over 30 years I was in a panic when my son was 3, no matter how much time and effort we put into potty training he just couldn’t get the hang of it. In desperation I went to see a health visitor as he was due to go to Nursery at 3 years 6 month and they wouldn’t accept children in nappies. The health visitor gave me some tips and said she had never known a child go to school in nappies. But very quickly he was dry during the day, but wet the bed occasionally until he was 9 years old.
In contrast my daughter was out of nappies at 12 months during the day and about 16 months out of them at night.
Neither of them every had a bottle both breastfed until 6/7 months then a cup.