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Grandparenting

Age to leave babyhood behind?

(108 Posts)
Kowl Fri 17-May-24 19:38:29

Grandson is 3 years 9 months.
He's still being given a bottle and there's no sign of them starting to get him out of nappies.
Is this normal now?

Germanshepherdsmum Fri 17-May-24 19:43:52

Good grief. Does he eat solids? Has there been no attempt at potty training?

maddyone Fri 17-May-24 19:44:51

It seems to be acceptable today. I understand why you’re concerned.

Cabbie21 Fri 17-May-24 19:57:06

Oh dear.
I can’t imagine a Nursery accepting this child but maybe it’s the norm now?

Callistemon21 Fri 17-May-24 19:57:30

At one time children could not be accepted at a State nursery unless potty trained, unless they were less able.
Is it just a nappy at night?

That rule disappeared years ago, more's the pity.

A bottle? I'm not sure, perhaps one at bedtime is ok as a comfort thing, if he's eating well and can drink from a cup during the day.

Coolgran65 Fri 17-May-24 20:13:11

My dgd was still have breast feeds on request at age 3. He did have a normal diet.

Celieanne86 Fri 17-May-24 20:25:52

About 20 years ago my daughter was a school nursery teacher children age 4/5 she was shocked at how many children wore nappies or pull ups had a dummy and sucked it all day if allowed. Had no idea about table manners some even sat on the floor to eat and some little girls didn’t wear any knickers and when they needed to go they went no matter where they were. Nothing new under the sun when along with her two assistants she tried to teach the basics angry mothers screamed abuse. She left after 2 years and went into the funeral business at least there her residents were quiet and peaceful.

Lovemylife Fri 17-May-24 20:35:59

Apparently by 2021 the average age at which children were out of nappies had gone up to 3.5 years from 2.5. Can’t find more up to date info. Reasons given include comfier nappies, and busy parents. As if previous generations weren’t! Thinking of my grandma with 6 small children. Have just been reading an article which suggests that late toilet training is not so good after all, so perhaps the pendulum is swinging back? Awful to hear that nappies need to be changed at school. Not great for the environment either with all those nappies.

1summer Fri 17-May-24 20:36:49

Over 30 years I was in a panic when my son was 3, no matter how much time and effort we put into potty training he just couldn’t get the hang of it. In desperation I went to see a health visitor as he was due to go to Nursery at 3 years 6 month and they wouldn’t accept children in nappies. The health visitor gave me some tips and said she had never known a child go to school in nappies. But very quickly he was dry during the day, but wet the bed occasionally until he was 9 years old.
In contrast my daughter was out of nappies at 12 months during the day and about 16 months out of them at night.
Neither of them every had a bottle both breastfed until 6/7 months then a cup.

Calipso Fri 17-May-24 20:43:32

My daughters do things very differently to the way I did things. They are much more relaxed about timescales and babyhood is gone in the blink of an eye so I think, in most respects, that they have it right. They are wonderful parents and my grandchildren are growing up loved and secure. Who could ask for more?

Grams2five Fri 17-May-24 20:50:20

Calipso

My daughters do things very differently to the way I did things. They are much more relaxed about timescales and babyhood is gone in the blink of an eye so I think, in most respects, that they have it right. They are wonderful parents and my grandchildren are growing up loved and secure. Who could ask for more?

Exactly this! I try not to stick my nose in with worry even when it’s different than how we did it, after all o know I did things very different than my own mum back in the day too. So long as the kids are happy and loved and the drs aren’t concerned I’m happy too.

M0nica Fri 17-May-24 21:32:09

Kowl leave your grandsons parents to deal with the problems alone when they arise.

They go themselves into this mess, leave them to get themselves out of it.

Urmstongran Fri 17-May-24 21:38:49

Blimey.

GrannyIvy Fri 17-May-24 21:41:58

My girls were potty trained at 2 and dry at night very soon after. Boys are a little slower I’ve been told and indeed my grandsons were. It does seem different these days with weaning and potty training no pressure on doing it as early as we did.

Kowl Fri 17-May-24 21:45:04

There's been no attempt to get him to use a potty and no attempt to get him to use a sippy cup. It's all the time, not just at night. It's just so different from how things were when my children were toddlers. I don't understand it. The longer they baby him the harder it will be and I worry about him. Mine were all out of nappies in the day by the age of 2 and went from breastmilk straight to sippy cups. I just wondered if this had become the norm, so thanks for the answers. Monica's answer made me laugh, it's a shame I feel so upset for my grandson though.

zakouma66 Fri 17-May-24 21:52:16

Its not a competition but some children start full time school at 4.

Kowl Fri 17-May-24 21:52:36

He attends nursery class at the local primary school for 2 hours each afternoon. He's supposed to be going for 3 hours each morning in Spetember and then full-time from January next year. My daughter puts a clean nappy on him to go and changes him when he gets home. I wonder if they think he will just wake up one day and use a potty and drink out of a cup by magic.

March Fri 17-May-24 21:54:08

It's ok if that's what you mean.
Every toddler and child gets there eventually.
3 kids down and none of them have been potty trained before 3.

Parent shaming isn't ok now tho 🙄

zakouma66 Fri 17-May-24 21:57:24

Its not OK for a teacher with 29 other children to care for though surely?

Kowl Fri 17-May-24 21:57:40

Thanks March

Kowl Fri 17-May-24 22:00:25

I think he will have to be out of nappies to start Reception class in January. There are more staff per child in the Nursery class. What happens if he's not out of nappies?

VioletSky Fri 17-May-24 22:02:04

More people are child led on these things now. Because it is known some children don't achieve full bladder control till as late as 9 in some cases.

Couple that with more patients both out at work etc, these things have become harder for tired parents to deal with

I wouldn't worry overly, Child led potty training is a lot easier, because it is what they want. I've had children come into school in pull-ups and when they decided they didn't want them and were ready, dry just like that.

Kowl Fri 17-May-24 22:04:33

I've just googled this. It says that schools are not allowed to refuse to take children who are still in nappies. That is a bit shocking to me and could be a whole thread on its own.

Kowl Fri 17-May-24 22:05:36

Aren't children bullied or laughed at about this VioletSky?

RosiesMaw Fri 17-May-24 22:06:26

No, it’s not.
Does he go to nursery? I don’t think his parents are doing him any favours. Imagine other children laughing at him at pre-school?
He may be able toilet train himself in a matter of days but if he has got used to the feel a wet/soiled nappy and likes it, I could foresee problems.
Is the bottle occasional? (Eg at bedtime?)
No not a good idea, I would have thought having his teeth would have indicated time to move on -maybe a sippy cup but soon a proper one.