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Grandparenting

Feeling hurt

(35 Posts)
Imarocker Mon 29-Jul-24 08:05:46

Lots of children go through this stage. DD wouldn’t go near her GF until one day he bought her a wheelbarrow. Why a wheelbarrow? When my son opened the door to us our DGS Would totally ignore me and lean towards DH behind me. I just laughed. It will pass. Young children don’t like it if you try too hard.

M0nica Mon 29-Jul-24 08:03:27

From about 18 months old until nearly 3 our grandson, used to swerve round me to get to his grandfather. I really didn't count. I mean to say as far as he was concerned grandmas were 2 a penny, and he saw less of me than my companion grandma, while he only had one grandpa.

This went on for, may be 18 months or so, then one day when staying with us we went to a local beauty spot and the children wee playing with the twigs, building little dens, when DGS decided he would build a miniature village so he squatted down to gather twigs and started asking me to find what sticks he needed. The others wandered on and he worked away for about ten minutes, while I stood quietly by and obeyed instructions, then he stood up, took my hand, and we were friends.

Babs03 Mon 29-Jul-24 07:20:07

Thanx for replies. It really does make a difference to hear such kind words.

Macadia Mon 29-Jul-24 03:44:12

As long as the little boy is happy, what else matters?

V3ra Mon 29-Jul-24 01:27:09

You don't mention your grandson's dad, is he on the scene?
Just wondering if grandad is a novelty, being a man?

I'd say leave them to it, and take the opportunity to spend some time with your daughter.
It's not easy to have an adult conversation with a small child around, she might appreciate someone putting her first 🥰

Shelflife Sun 28-Jul-24 23:59:47

Please don't worry or take this personally - it will pass. Try not to let him see you are concerned and don't try too hard to gain his attention. Take a new and interesting selection of toys next time you see him , don't call him over just open the toy box and play with the contents alone. His curiosity may get the better of him , if he joins you play along side him not with him or showing him how to play - just let him be . Solitary play is very usual at the age of two years. It may take some time but he will get there - good luck,!

NotSpaghetti Sun 28-Jul-24 23:53:21

Our grandchildren have mainly wanted my husband.
I think they mostly do - unless upset, and then it's mostly me!

He is the fun one but I must be "safe"!

Doodle Sun 28-Jul-24 23:06:14

Babs this is so common. I know it hurts but trust me it is just a temporary thing. Our younger granddaughter had a soft spot for her grandad too. The best thing you can do is what you are doing. Ride it out. He is very young. The more you and his mum stress about it the worse it will be. Relax a bit. Perhaps get a new toy and play with it yourself. See if he wants to come and join you with your toy. Summertime a small children’s watering can can be a good thing to try. You fill it with water and wait for him to want a go. We’ve all been there

Chardy Sun 28-Jul-24 22:37:40

Hang in there. You're doing everything right

Babs03 Sun 28-Jul-24 22:14:36

We have a gorgeous grandson who is the light of our lives and we try to spend time with him as often as possible. He is 2 years old now and I know he is getting more difficult as he tries to assert himself and deal with overwhelming emotions, but for over a year now he has persistently rejected my attentions and only wants to be with his grandpa, he won’t even engage with me on Skype unless my husband is with me. I could understand if this was a temporary thing but is going on much longer than I expected. My daughter feels awful about it but I just dismiss it and say is fine, he’ll grow out of it. The sting is that I did everything for my grandson as a younger baby but my other half did very little.
Have tried everything, visiting him on my own, and on these occasions he will let me play with him but begrudgingly and repeatedly asks for his grandpa, often ending up in tears.
I am trying to ride this out but wondering if it will ever end.