Feeling hurt

Hang in there. You're doing everything right

Babs this is so common. I know it hurts but trust me it is just a temporary thing. Our younger granddaughter had a soft spot for her grandad too. The best thing you can do is what you are doing. Ride it out. He is very young. The more you and his mum stress about it the worse it will be. Relax a bit. Perhaps get a new toy and play with it yourself. See if he wants to come and join you with your toy. Summertime a small children’s watering can can be a good thing to try. You fill it with water and wait for him to want a go. We’ve all been there

Our grandchildren have mainly wanted my husband.
I think they mostly do - unless upset, and then it's mostly me!

He is the fun one but I must be "safe"!

Please don't worry or take this personally - it will pass. Try not to let him see you are concerned and don't try too hard to gain his attention. Take a new and interesting selection of toys next time you see him , don't call him over just open the toy box and play with the contents alone. His curiosity may get the better of him , if he joins you play along side him not with him or showing him how to play - just let him be . Solitary play is very usual at the age of two years. It may take some time but he will get there - good luck,!

You don't mention your grandson's dad, is he on the scene?
Just wondering if grandad is a novelty, being a man?

I'd say leave them to it, and take the opportunity to spend some time with your daughter.
It's not easy to have an adult conversation with a small child around, she might appreciate someone putting her first 🥰

As long as the little boy is happy, what else matters?

Thanx for replies. It really does make a difference to hear such kind words.

From about 18 months old until nearly 3 our grandson, used to swerve round me to get to his grandfather. I really didn't count. I mean to say as far as he was concerned grandmas were 2 a penny, and he saw less of me than my companion grandma, while he only had one grandpa.

This went on for, may be 18 months or so, then one day when staying with us we went to a local beauty spot and the children wee playing with the twigs, building little dens, when DGS decided he would build a miniature village so he squatted down to gather twigs and started asking me to find what sticks he needed. The others wandered on and he worked away for about ten minutes, while I stood quietly by and obeyed instructions, then he stood up, took my hand, and we were friends.

Lots of children go through this stage. DD wouldn’t go near her GF until one day he bought her a wheelbarrow. Why a wheelbarrow? When my son opened the door to us our DGS Would totally ignore me and lean towards DH behind me. I just laughed. It will pass. Young children don’t like it if you try too hard.

Young children don’t like it if you try too hard.

True!

We had a little grandson who was just like this ie he preferred granddad to me. He is now about to start secondary school and the last few months we've been getting on much better now. It's a phase I think

We had the same with our grandson! He adored my DH, he tolerated me 😂😂

Hang on in there, all will be alright

Not just with Grandparents! Aunties and Uncles too… I’ve always bought the gifts, cards and made the effort to visit … but it’s always my husband they ask for!! Perhaps it’s because men don’t try too hard with kids!!

I look after my grandchildren quite a lot and take them to school most days. It's always my husband that they call for as they come through the front door, but I'm Nanny who produces food and is stricter than Grandpa or Mummy.

It will get better. One of my grandsons was exactly like this when he was 2 and it lasted at least a year. He would sometimes tell me he didn’t love me, he only loved Grandad. He’s just turned 12 now and is so different. He not only loves me, he wants to do things with me, loves that his hair is curly like mine (who wants to look like their Nana??) and is so loving. He’s been like this for the last few years and we laugh about how mean he was back then. It’s a phase and like all phases it will pass. Just keep being yourself and he’ll come around.

So many cases just like mine, makes me feel much better, and perhaps it’s true whilst some of us grans do all the changing and cleaning and feeding, grandpas tend to weigh in afterwards with lots of fun games and silliness whereas we are already shattered. Thanx for straightening this out.

My grandson went through a phase like this and it does hurt, but it will pass. We made cakes, which he then got to eat and he started wanting to cook with me and then it gradually blossomed into other things. Hang on in there!

I’ve always been below Aunty and cousins in the pecking order, until it comes to food! Lol but my oldest DGS now 11, hugs me and says I love you Nanny and it’s all worth it. Xx

I have 7 Grandchildren & one always wanted Grandpa & never me,but it was really nice for my husband he was so happy,over the years it has changed & now she talks about going to Grandma’s house,it’s just a faze

Definitely hang on. Just be yourself and show him the same attention even if rebuffed. Our first granddaughter - now 14 - was obsessed with me and rebuffed her grandad which made me feel awful but he was patience personified and it paid off as she got older (4/5) when we each had different things to offer. Meanwhile our younger granddaughter (4) is obsessed with her grandad which leaves me on the sidelines but experience tells me it will right itself in it’s own time and I can’t force it. Children are like pet dogs and cats, they come to you when they’re ready and you can’t really alter that or speed it up.

Well am busy with birthday plans for my grandsons birthday. Have baked the cake, just need to decorate and will be busy helping with the food and drinks on the day. Is my grandsons day so am totally happy with him keeping me on the sidelines, though am hoping to grab a kiss at some point. Also are other grandchildren there who will happily spend time with me.
Glad I have got things in perspective now x

Not always but I think young children often veer towards the men. Maybe they seem stronger I don’t know. When my children were young they always wanted to sit by Daddy when we were out somewhere. It used to hurt but we laugh about it now and in any case they can’t remember.

This really is just children -🥰😳😂 please don’t feel hurt - you probably provide all the basics and Grandpa may seem a little more interesting- temporarily!! - wait till grumpy Grandpa appears on the scene. Children can be fickle creatures- it absolutely doesn’t mean that he loves anyone more than another. Also don’t stress about it - good advice that- just stay relaxed, calm and keep a sense of humour about children’s ups and downs. Good luck!! X

Children definitely have a different view on relationships then I think we do. My grandchildren adored my husband, but when he died last year and my son told his children the youngest one just said “that’s very sad” then went off to play. I’m sure they miss him but children live for today .