Charging keep

I had this dilemma with my daughter a few years back. I took some board from her while she was saving and then gave her a cash bonus when she left to go abroad

She should be making some financial contribution, £5 although £10 would be better. Also I would hope that she maybe helping in some way with household chores, you do not operate a hotel and bills and cleaning etc still has to be done.

She should pay something towards her keep. If you are able to get by, then you could save her rent and give it to her when she finds her own place.

Fleur20

Please remember you are not being unkind by having her pay for her keep! Quite the opposite.. you are treating her as an adult... and the fact that she has been 'asking' shows she IS one!!
Respect all round.

I agree with this. She will learn to budget and to manage her income from a full-time job later in a 'gentle' way if you involve her in discussions about how much utility bills, food etc adds up to, and allow her to contribute a portion of her wages now - however small. I was bought up to do this - plus always, always saving a little from each wage packet, even if it was only £1 a week - and it's stood me in good stead for 60 years 🙂

Charge a little something so that she understands what the real world is like. It will help her more than hurt her.

We have a granddaughter and her partner living with us. We don't charge them for rent but they have to buy their own food. Their salaries aren't very high and are adhoc because of the work they do so understandably they want to save. We're quite happy with this - especially if they do some cleaning as well!!!!

As some others have said don’t charge her unless you “need” to.
Presumably she sleeps in the spare room so extra housing costs are negligible, how much does she really cost you in food.

Most want to go travelling these days, not that it helps their career prospects, I planned to but after college I got enthusiastic about work, I never regretted changing my mind but we travel a lot now.

I agree with Doodledog. Ask for a small amount of 'keep' and if you don't need it give it back to her when she goes travelling.

My daughter and her then boyfriend (now husband) lived in our (very small) annexe for two years. It was at a much reduced all inclusive 'rent' to enable them to save for a house deposit. I had it in mind to save the rent and probably give it back to them but wanted to see how well they did first!! Of course I didn't tell them this!

They were so good and I was incredibly impressed by their diligence in saving money and commitment as well that I gladly gave them back the money.

I wouldn't charge her money at all, but maybe ask her to participate in the household chores like taking out the garbage and of course cleaning her own room. And I wouldn't hesitate asking her to pick up f.i. fresh bread on her way home. That's what people living together do I think 😊

When our daughters started work, while still living at home, my husband and I didn't want to charge them keep but realised that they needed to learn responsibility and that nothing is free. We worked out a reasonable charge that we knew they could afford, that would still leave them enough for all their expenses and a bit of savings. Then, when the first daughter left home, we presented her with a lovely nest-egg. She was so delighted, and we were happy to help. (I realise this is not possible for everyone and I don't want to come across as boasting. I just wanted to share what we did).
The downside, if you can call it that, was that the second daughter didn't get a surprise when she left, as she knew about her sister's, but I know the arrangement worked well for us and for them.

I always expected ny adult children to contribue to their keep if they were living at home and working. How much will vary. If their salary is very low, 20% seems reasonable.

For those with a good well paid job, then they should pay their way.

eazybee

If she has finished college she is presumably able to work full time therefore she should be contributing to her upkeep:heat , laundry, food. Why should she expect you to keep her? Otherwise she will regard her income as pocket money.

Yes.... of course she should be paying.

After I qualified I gave my mum housekeeping, I didn’t know that she put it in a separate account and blew it all on my wedding !
I wished I’d kept it and banked it and had a smaller wedding ! But giving her the money every month meant I learnt to budget
I do think that as your granddaughter has asked take it and use it to pay for the extras you need while she is with you

You must use the small contribution your granddaughter is making for the purpose for which it is intended; housing and feeding another adult is expensive, and you negate the whole purpose if you save it and give it to her when she' goes on her travels,' (A completely wasteful exercise in my opinion but that is another topic.)

The problem, as Witzend identified, is that it really wasn't her brother's fault! My DH was put in this position. He had a scholarship to an excellent school but parental contribution was required. His sister also went to a very good school, but dropped out as she said she was fed up. She then had to contribute to the household budget.
My DH was very uncomfortable, especially as he then went to university, and his parents continued to support him. He didn't join in a lot of social activities, in order to keep costs down, and return some money to them. We also offered support to his sister when she needed it. Although she is gracious to us, I know from others that she still feels resentful. However, as I point out to DH, it would have been even more daft for him to have given up the opportunities he had. Moved off original topic a bit, I think OP has been sensible.

Witzend your post did shock me.
I'm glad your brother is a lovely bloke but I think you take a much more generous and less resentful attitude towards your parents than some would have done.
Prioritising boys over girls makes me see red.

Yes indeed she should make a contribution, she needs to learn that everyday living costs money.

You made a right call in my opinion in asking for a small amount. Feeding an adult and doing their laundry etc., isn’t cheap.
No matter how much we love our grown kids and grandkids we don’t do them any favours letting them go through life believing they don’t have to pay their way.
And as others have said if you manage to save a bit from this amount over time you can give it back to her to go travelling.
Sounds like a lovely grand daughter.

It's good that she's asked. It shows maturity and unwillingness to be a freeloader.

Could you ask her to do named chores around the house, and maybe buy and cook a meal once or twice a week? That way she's be pulling her weight and learning to budget, shop and cook within it.

As she has asked you how much she should pay why not ask her how much she thinks she is able to pay.. negotiation is always much more satisfactory for both of you.. then if you need the money then keep it, if you don't then maybe give it to her when she leaves..

I'd ask for a bit towards her keep, saving to give to her when she leaves.

I've got GS aged 21 staying for 3 weeks while he does work experience in this town before his last year at uni.
His mum, my DD, yesterday organised a Sainsbury's delivery to me, a thoughtful and welcome contribution.
We had a son but you forget how much they eat. And the other GS aged 18 will be joining us for the final week, just for a visit. Fortunately he loves cooking!

Please remember you are not being unkind by having her pay for her keep! Quite the opposite.. you are treating her as an adult... and the fact that she has been 'asking' shows she IS one!!
Respect all round.

Thank you all for your input. She has been asking me for a while how much we want, we’ve decided on a very small amount,

The more she saves the sooner she can go travelling so I would only take what you actually need from her.