Charging keep

Don’t take money from her if at all possible. She’s working and saving hard.

If you’re struggling with the extra costs , perhaps her parent could contribute ?

I think for her own good you should ask a little (but I probably wouldn’t talk about the pot and kettle eh )
I recently lent two grandkids some money not huge amounts but enough ( and to be honest I was going to say that’s fine) but their mum being more sensible than me suggested a DD which is what we are doing everytime they are broke I want to say forget the DD you’re fine but no they do need to learn about the real world so I m sticking with it ( for now)

I would take a small amount of “keep”

Has she offered to pay? If she’s been to university she must be aware that life isn’t free, and I would be disappointed if a young woman didn’t expect to cover her expenses and make a contribution.

If you have housing costs (eg rent or mortgage) she should pay towards those, and if not she should pay towards food and bills. Maybe not a fair share if you can afford to cover it, but a contribution nonetheless.

If you really don’t need the money you could save it for her and surprise her with it when she goes travelling. Letting her freeload is teaching her a bad lesson though. In my opinion anyway.

Whether you’re struggling or not, it depends.
If she uses your house like an hotel, i.e. gets/expects her choice of food, cleaning, laundry etc, then making a contribution is a useful lesson, besides helping with the expense of an extra person.

My DGD staying with us uses more electricity, (hairdryer etc) more water-frequent showers and laundry. (Minimalist packing means she does laundry every 2-3 days.)
She has a dietary issue which means she needs some different foods from what we like to eat.
She voluntarily keeps her room tidy and offers help with washing up etc.
As a guest, for a week or two that’s fine and in return, we get the pleasure of her company.

In the OP’s circumstances, I’d be asking for a contribution to household expenses. If her parents pay it, that’s their decision.

If the OP likes/is able to save it and give it her GD as a lump sum when she goes off on her travels, that might make her feel better.
That’s what we did with our daughters.

It's a good idea IMO to ask for a small contribution. As Mollygo has suggested, you could keep it to one side and give it to her when she leaves to go travelling.

Smileless2012

It's a good idea IMO to ask for a small contribution. As Mollygo has suggested, you could keep it to one side and give it to her when she leaves to go travelling.

I agree with this, she contributes and learns money management, but what a lovely surprise when she goes travelling.

Not sure.

My first thought is, is it all about the money - is she doing her bit in the house? Helping with cleaning, cooking some meals, doing her bit in the garden now and then etc - those are all about taking responsibility and acknowledging how much you are helping her. ie not a free ride.

Second thought was, do you need the money, because if you do, you need to ask.

I would ask her what she finds reasonable and discuss it like that. Then I would accept all of the rental fees and save it for her to give it back to her when she finds her own way.

If she has finished college she is presumably able to work full time therefore she should be contributing to her upkeep:heat , laundry, food. Why should she expect you to keep her? Otherwise she will regard her income as pocket money.

Life is expensive. I think you would be justified in asking for a small amount. I'm sure she understands that once we become adults we have to pay our way.
I sounds a nice idea to save some of it to give her as a leaving present when she goes.

Didn’t ask my daughter for ‘keep’ as she worked throughout UNI and didn’t live at home ….. during holidays etc and when in sixth form she would get home before me, do the ironing, the housework, get dinner ready …I never asked her to !!! She would borrow my car evenings and weekends with no trouble! Suppose it depends on if you can afford to keep a child at home or not … if not then yes, ask for payment !

I would not ask for a monetary contribution but would encourage her to do jobs you may find difficult or simply boring or arduous eg cleaning the inside windows, shopping,weeding the garden etc. In that way you both benefit: she will be able to save for a lifetime experience and you will have more free time to relax or do what you want.

Definitely ask for some contribution towards the household expenses. I was an only child and parents were comfortably off but as soon as I had a small income my mother insisted that I pay something!
As others have said, if she's earning, she'll regard all income as pocket money, if she doesn't give something.

Best to have a discussion and see what she thinks is fair.

Mine insisted too, Farmor15. First summer holiday job when I was 18 was on a supermarket checkout, for which I earned £8.50 a week - out of which I had to give my mother £3. At the time my folks were paying boarding school fees for my brother! - which was one reason money was always very tight otherwise.

But he was always a Golden Boy priority for my mother - not his fault, though - he’s a lovely bloke.

When I met dh not long afterwards I was 😱 to learn that he’d been paid £20+ a week on building sites - and gave his parents nothing! Nor was it expected.
And they were very far from well off.

Of course she should contribute. She's not a child.

She should pay for her keep and do her share of cleaning, shopping and cooking, all her own laundry, including bedding and towels.
She is an adult and should be expected to contribute as one.
Agree a figure, she pays either weekly in cash/bank transfer or sets up a monthly direct debit to your account.
You will be doing her no favours in scrimping to let her live for free.
Life lessons!!

She has been through college and must have an idea that food, electricity etc costs money. It would have been nice if she had asked you about her paying some keep. I agree with others above, you should ask her for some keep, not a lot but enough to help with the expenses. You would be doing her a favour by teaching her not to free-load

The more she saves the sooner she can go travelling so I would only take what you actually need from her.

Thank you all for your input. She has been asking me for a while how much we want, we’ve decided on a very small amount,

Please remember you are not being unkind by having her pay for her keep! Quite the opposite.. you are treating her as an adult... and the fact that she has been 'asking' shows she IS one!!
Respect all round.

I've got GS aged 21 staying for 3 weeks while he does work experience in this town before his last year at uni.
His mum, my DD, yesterday organised a Sainsbury's delivery to me, a thoughtful and welcome contribution.
We had a son but you forget how much they eat. And the other GS aged 18 will be joining us for the final week, just for a visit. Fortunately he loves cooking!

I'd ask for a bit towards her keep, saving to give to her when she leaves.

As she has asked you how much she should pay why not ask her how much she thinks she is able to pay.. negotiation is always much more satisfactory for both of you.. then if you need the money then keep it, if you don't then maybe give it to her when she leaves..