Cake situation!

she is only one person in a group of many

Excellent!
Have a lovely time.

Thing is I would never encourage a battle of the grans with my SILs mother , both my husband and I actively encourage a good relationship between our daughter and her Mil, sadly we have been estranged from our eldest daughter and two GCs so we know how heartbreaking it can be when a family member cuts a parent out of their lives.
So at our SILs birthday meal we will be all smiles and good will and probs have a great time cos she is only one person in a group of many.
That is if I can possibly ignore the chip on my shoulder, perhaps eazybee has some advice to give regarding this.

Franbern

Find it difficult to understand all this fuss about a cake for toddlers birthday. A CAKE!!!!! Talk about first world problems.

You have so much more uniting the two families than dividing you. A happy, loving partnership of your children, a healthy happy grandchild. The ability to be able to meet u[ regularly and often to share important dates.
Yet the two older 'ladies' seem to be in on-going battle as to whom is best!!!!
Think you both need to step back.

That seems unfair. OP said she make a cake and made it. She wasnt competing. It was MIL who created a competition and needs to step back!

In the words of Frozen , let it go . Bite your lip and stick a smile on your face at your sil birthday.
I’d much rather a home made cake than a shop bought one

MissAdventure

Oh Babs!
Our families are perfect!
I myself have a degree in telling fibs, and my grandson is showing signs of being similarly gifted.

😂

Oh Babs!
Our families are perfect!
I myself have a degree in telling fibs, and my grandson is showing signs of being similarly gifted.

Franbern

Find it difficult to understand all this fuss about a cake for toddlers birthday. A CAKE!!!!! Talk about first world problems.

You have so much more uniting the two families than dividing you. A happy, loving partnership of your children, a healthy happy grandchild. The ability to be able to meet u[ regularly and often to share important dates.
Yet the two older 'ladies' seem to be in on-going battle as to whom is best!!!!
Think you both need to step back.

Have stepped back
This was really just me letting off steam not a major showdown.
There is no battle just two people who don’t always get along
Jeeez I suppose that mustn’t happen in other people’s families.

eazybee

.... is probs true that she does feel jealous because her precious son married beneath him, and because he gets along so well with us. I any case will paint on a smile and be civil when I see her.

And let go of the massive chip on your shoulder.

Thanks.
Cheap dig noted.
Was there anything more constructive you wanted to say?

Esmay

Don't let this situation turn into the cake wars !
I experienced some jealousy between my mother and mother in law .
But they got on .
Nothing prepared me for the cold shoulder that I've received from my daughter's mother in law .
My father thought that it was due to my winning a quiz and some games at her house .
He saw her face
I didn't .
Apparently she is used to being number one .
Not only did she move without telling me her new address ,I'm excluded from funerals , weddings , christenings and birthday parties .
I last saw her about four years ago and if looks could kill !

Just admire the shop bought cake.
Everyone will prefer your home made one .
And let it go ... before it becomes an issue .

Have already let it go.
This really has ceased to be an issue now.

I'd make a cake for your SIL and take it with you. Plonk it in the middle of the table and tell them you've brought it just in case as you and your family are not lovers of artificial tasting shop bought cakes. .

Seriously life is too short. Anyone who sets out to intimidate others has some deep rooted insecurities to deal with.

She sounds like a not very nice person and you sound like a very nice one.

I know which one of you I'd choose to be my friend (as long as you bring cake ).

Perhaps have family parties for each family, without the other. Seems quite normal.

Wise advice 25Avalon

Home made does taste better. It tastes even nicer to eat it in good company.

Your cake had a very important ingredient that hers didn’t. Yours had love stirred in to it. Anyone can go and buy a cake off the shelf. You spent time. Don’t let her make you feel inferior. You aren’t. You are superior. Remember that when you meet and don’t rise to any bait cause you are the better person. Remember the quote “Don’t be nice to someone because they are. Be nice because you are.”

That's the problem with cake wars, it's a symptom of deeper problems.

The competing over cakes is the icing on the cake. The real issue is insecurities and rivalries. The cakes are a symptom, not a cause.

.... is probs true that she does feel jealous because her precious son married beneath him, and because he gets along so well with us. I any case will paint on a smile and be civil when I see her.

And let go of the massive chip on your shoulder.

Oh that's awful Esmay! How dare you be more intelligent than her! It's a good thing your Father saw her face so you have a reason why you're excluded. It is ridiculous though how anyone can get so upset over not winning! What a sore loser she is!

What a hateful woman, I'm so sorry you have that.

When my kids were small, I attended college and learned how to decorate cakes professionally. It was great when I made birthday cakes for my kids parties, but then they grew up and didn't require elaborate cakes. I stopped doing it because you can never get that time back and the cake is gone, so you have nothing to show for it.

I keep quiet about my cake skills these days because it's not how I want to spend my time I just admire other's and am glad to spend my time painting or making things that last.

Don't let this situation turn into the cake wars !
I experienced some jealousy between my mother and mother in law .
But they got on .
Nothing prepared me for the cold shoulder that I've received from my daughter's mother in law .
My father thought that it was due to my winning a quiz and some games at her house .
He saw her face
I didn't .
Apparently she is used to being number one .
Not only did she move without telling me her new address ,I'm excluded from funerals , weddings , christenings and birthday parties .
I last saw her about four years ago and if looks could kill !

Just admire the shop bought cake.
Everyone will prefer your home made one .
And let it go ... before it becomes an issue .

Some years ago I was going to a buffet. I'd seen an unusual pastry I wanted to try making.
We had to say what we'd be bringing so I described it to friends.
On the day, one friend turned up with an identical pastry. It took me aback and I have to say I was a bit put out!

My friend said, "Oh, it looks like it's yours against mine then, doesn't it?" 😳 🙄

Find it difficult to understand all this fuss about a cake for toddlers birthday. A CAKE!!!!! Talk about first world problems.

You have so much more uniting the two families than dividing you. A happy, loving partnership of your children, a healthy happy grandchild. The ability to be able to meet u[ regularly and often to share important dates.
Yet the two older 'ladies' seem to be in on-going battle as to whom is best!!!!
Think you both need to step back.

Isn't this the one that usually goes wrong???

Norah

Or make something lovely like Jamie Oliver's Two-Nuts Chocolate Torte next time you must host her - gorgeous with strawberries.

Funny! 😂

Norah

Or make something lovely like Jamie Oliver's Two-Nuts Chocolate Torte next time you must host her - gorgeous with strawberries.

I'd buy something from M&S or Waitrose!

Or make something lovely like Jamie Oliver's Two-Nuts Chocolate Torte next time you must host her - gorgeous with strawberries.

any competition.

YES, grey Rock!

My cakes are delicious, enthusiastically finished every time. They are not beautiful - I don't attempt beautiful. She may be perhaps jealous.

Smile and ignore and competition.

As to SIL Birthday - go, smile, enjoy the meal - don't ask for cake