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Grandparenting

Update on Grandaughter Situation

(69 Posts)
Debbi58 Wed 25-Sept-24 20:23:44

I really feel for you , that's a wicked thing to say. I wouldn't have replied either , sounds like your relationship with her is over . Heart breaking though

Babs03 Wed 25-Sept-24 17:25:52

Sadly this doesn’t surprise me as much as it should. Am estranged from my AC and two GCs, my other daughters are also estranged from her. She said such abusive things to myself, my husband and her sisters, it left us reeling and caused me to suffer a breakdown.
Right now you need to keep your distance from your granddaughter, to say that we need to protect ourselves from our loved ones sounds crazy but your well-being is important, don’t let this drag you down.
This young woman needs to be the one to contact you with an apology, you don’t need to contact her or unfortunately you expose yourself to more abuse.
Is hard for anyone who hasn’t experienced this to know how truly heartbreaking it is.
Take care of yourself x

Harris27 Wed 25-Sept-24 17:08:24

I’m so sorry for you. I have sons and grandchildren and seem them when they are free. Sometimes we just need to take a step back do that. You don’t deserve this. No one does.

GrannyIvy Wed 25-Sept-24 17:01:56

I’m so sorry she said such an awful thing to you. I think you must just ignore her. Very hard for you tho💐

Grandmafrench Wed 25-Sept-24 16:43:52

You need to listen to your DH and put a stop on all and any contact. If nothing else, she’ll have had the last word, but have no idea of whether she’s hurt you, and she’ll have just gone from 2 possible loving Grans……to none. Just what she deserves, because she’s not a child, but a nasty, poisoned woman who clearly likes to live in the past and think she’ll always have the chance to strike a blow for her equally stupid Mother!

Ignore it, Axzder.You behaved well, she’s beyond hope. Save your love and concern for those who deserve it - and forget what she said. It’s the voice of a spiteful loser and you must believe you’re worth so much more. End the game and move on.💐

Cossy Wed 25-Sept-24 16:16:02

Axzder

Tried wrote a nice letter to ask to meet and talk about it she sent me a vile text back, tried ringing she just puts the phone down so I think I have done all I can

I think you have done all you can and I would just let things lie.

At least your son appears to have some decency, it appears your ex-DiL does not!

Cossy Wed 25-Sept-24 16:12:06

Sorry to sound harsh, but grieving or not, your GDs response is very rude, cruel and totally unacceptable.

LOUISA1523 Wed 25-Sept-24 16:06:37

I'm sorry this has happened to you ..... its a dreadful thing to say to anyone. Let alone your own grandmother 💐

Axzder Wed 25-Sept-24 15:29:29

Tried wrote a nice letter to ask to meet and talk about it she sent me a vile text back, tried ringing she just puts the phone down so I think I have done all I can

keepingquiet Wed 25-Sept-24 13:09:12

I think this is the OP who was texting messages instead of speaking to help solve the communication difficulties. Seems nothing has changed.
Stop sending text messages. Speak in person.

V3ra Wed 25-Sept-24 12:49:46

That's so awful it's taken my breath away, so goodness knows how it must have felt to you 😳

I can understand your son speaking up for you when she let you down on your birthday, in hospital. I don't think he can he held to blame for the spiteful reaction you were subjected to.

Sadly there is probably very little point contacting her again. I do feel for you Axzder 😟

pascal30 Wed 25-Sept-24 12:44:35

It sounds like her father caused her to feel guilty and she has made this into a story against you.. I don't know how you can change this story especially as her mother seems to have so much influence on her.. It is a horrible thing to say to you but I think your husband is right.. you can still send her loving thoughts though.. I find that quite an effective way of dealing with grief..

welbeck Wed 25-Sept-24 12:35:46

oh dear. sounds like your son caused a row, and you got the flack.
i agree with your husband; ignore it/her.
the divorced parents sound to be still bickering.
which is also pointless, and immature.
sorry you are upset. listen to your husband.
all the best.

Axzder Wed 25-Sept-24 12:33:05

Thank you

Axzder Wed 25-Sept-24 12:31:28

Long story I was in Hospital in March very poorly it was my Birthday on the Sunday she rang me in the morning wished me Happy Birthday and said she would see me about 11:30 looked forward to that she lives about 15 Minutes from Hospital anyway she messaged at11:25 and said she was going shopping with her Mum I just shrugged it of and said ok but my Son her Dad was not happy and rang her and asked why she had gone with her Mum when I was in hospital and it was my Birthday she text me and said some really nasty things not spoken since

Whethertomorrow Wed 25-Sept-24 12:30:36

What an absolutely nasty thing to say. Sounds like her mother has been poisoning her against your son and you.

I would say nothing and forget about her as she seems firmly entrenched in her views.

If you wanted petty revenge you could always text her back with ‘oh well the Battersea dogs home (or any charity) will be happier now, thanks so much’.

To be honest I don’t think a nasty bint like her is much of a loss.

I’m so sorry you got this treatment. Sending you virtual hugs.

🫶

welbeck Wed 25-Sept-24 12:25:59

what did you fall out about ?

Axzder Wed 25-Sept-24 12:21:36

Sorry she is 36 Not 34

Axzder Wed 25-Sept-24 12:20:19

6 Months ago had a fall out with my 34 Year old Granddaughter did ask for advice on here most people were most helpful, unfortunately her other Grandma passed away at the weekend she was in a care home not to well over the last few months.
I sent a text message to say we were sorry to hear about her Grandma and our thoughts were with her, sent back it’s a pity it wasn’t you to say I am devastated is an understatement not slept not eaten it just keeps going round in my head that someone who I have loved all her life can wish me Dead, My Husband just says ignore her and treat it with the contempt it deserves, she is 36 Years old in a very professional job so she does know what she is saying, I did not react to her text but any advice I would be most grateful, Our son and her Mother have been divorced for years and both remarried but her Mum likes to live her life for her,