Update on Grandaughter Situation

Sorry she is 36 Not 34

what did you fall out about ?

What an absolutely nasty thing to say. Sounds like her mother has been poisoning her against your son and you.

I would say nothing and forget about her as she seems firmly entrenched in her views.

If you wanted petty revenge you could always text her back with ‘oh well the Battersea dogs home (or any charity) will be happier now, thanks so much’.

To be honest I don’t think a nasty bint like her is much of a loss.

I’m so sorry you got this treatment. Sending you virtual hugs.

🫶

Long story I was in Hospital in March very poorly it was my Birthday on the Sunday she rang me in the morning wished me Happy Birthday and said she would see me about 11:30 looked forward to that she lives about 15 Minutes from Hospital anyway she messaged at11:25 and said she was going shopping with her Mum I just shrugged it of and said ok but my Son her Dad was not happy and rang her and asked why she had gone with her Mum when I was in hospital and it was my Birthday she text me and said some really nasty things not spoken since

Thank you

oh dear. sounds like your son caused a row, and you got the flack.
i agree with your husband; ignore it/her.
the divorced parents sound to be still bickering.
which is also pointless, and immature.
sorry you are upset. listen to your husband.
all the best.

It sounds like her father caused her to feel guilty and she has made this into a story against you.. I don't know how you can change this story especially as her mother seems to have so much influence on her.. It is a horrible thing to say to you but I think your husband is right.. you can still send her loving thoughts though.. I find that quite an effective way of dealing with grief..

That's so awful it's taken my breath away, so goodness knows how it must have felt to you 😳

I can understand your son speaking up for you when she let you down on your birthday, in hospital. I don't think he can he held to blame for the spiteful reaction you were subjected to.

Sadly there is probably very little point contacting her again. I do feel for you Axzder 😟

I think this is the OP who was texting messages instead of speaking to help solve the communication difficulties. Seems nothing has changed.
Stop sending text messages. Speak in person.

Tried wrote a nice letter to ask to meet and talk about it she sent me a vile text back, tried ringing she just puts the phone down so I think I have done all I can

I'm sorry this has happened to you ..... its a dreadful thing to say to anyone. Let alone your own grandmother 💐

Sorry to sound harsh, but grieving or not, your GDs response is very rude, cruel and totally unacceptable.

Axzder

Tried wrote a nice letter to ask to meet and talk about it she sent me a vile text back, tried ringing she just puts the phone down so I think I have done all I can

I think you have done all you can and I would just let things lie.

At least your son appears to have some decency, it appears your ex-DiL does not!

You need to listen to your DH and put a stop on all and any contact. If nothing else, she’ll have had the last word, but have no idea of whether she’s hurt you, and she’ll have just gone from 2 possible loving Grans……to none. Just what she deserves, because she’s not a child, but a nasty, poisoned woman who clearly likes to live in the past and think she’ll always have the chance to strike a blow for her equally stupid Mother!

Ignore it, Axzder.You behaved well, she’s beyond hope. Save your love and concern for those who deserve it - and forget what she said. It’s the voice of a spiteful loser and you must believe you’re worth so much more. End the game and move on.💐

I’m so sorry she said such an awful thing to you. I think you must just ignore her. Very hard for you tho💐

I’m so sorry for you. I have sons and grandchildren and seem them when they are free. Sometimes we just need to take a step back do that. You don’t deserve this. No one does.

Sadly this doesn’t surprise me as much as it should. Am estranged from my AC and two GCs, my other daughters are also estranged from her. She said such abusive things to myself, my husband and her sisters, it left us reeling and caused me to suffer a breakdown.
Right now you need to keep your distance from your granddaughter, to say that we need to protect ourselves from our loved ones sounds crazy but your well-being is important, don’t let this drag you down.
This young woman needs to be the one to contact you with an apology, you don’t need to contact her or unfortunately you expose yourself to more abuse.
Is hard for anyone who hasn’t experienced this to know how truly heartbreaking it is.
Take care of yourself x

I really feel for you , that's a wicked thing to say. I wouldn't have replied either , sounds like your relationship with her is over . Heart breaking though

Regardless of what your previous relationship was like with your GD (whether it was good or bad!), what she has said to you is unforgivable! It's something that you will never be able to forget, even if she feels guilty and comes grovelling to you with an apology. She's in the wrong and she probably knows it, deep down, and must feel ashamed about what she said.

Listen to your husband. As upsetting as this must be for you, you must try to put it behind you, otherwise, you're going to make yourself feel sick with the worry of it all. I don't know what your past relationship has been like with your GD, or your ex DiL ... were there some tensions between you and your GD's mum perhaps ...? Something has obviously triggered this reaction, but that is absolutely no excuse from a 34 year old adult!

I wouldn't try to contact her again about this, let it lie. Continue to send birthday cards, etc., if you usually do, but if she returns them, or tells you not to, then simply stop, without responding to her.

You can't do anymore than that. She's the one who created this upset. It's up to her to try to put it right, if she ever chooses to do so. If not, you'll have to learn to live with it, and know that it wasn't your fault. Put your energy and love into other family and friends who deserve it.

Take your DH's advice Axzder and treat this with the contempt it deserves. Sometimes you're just better off without someone like your GD in your life, regardless of how much you love them .

What a vile and cruel thing to say to you, Axzder. I think your husband is correct, hard though it must be. Sadly she is not worthy of your time or your energy. 💐

What a nasty thing to say. I can imagine how hurtful it is, especially from your much loved granddaughter. I really feel for you. It’s so sad when families fall out. Words are like daggers that pierce the heart. The wound heals, but the scabs never fall off.

Just a Thank You for your responses started to get my Head round it now.
It was her Birthday we sent a card just said have a nice Day
Returned through letterbox sometime last night
So that’s me done

A truly awful thing to say and napery you had to hear it. She’s made it quite clear she doesn’t wish a relationship so I’d do what Dh says in that regard and ignore and don’t reach out again.