Teenage grandson seems somewhat lost as to his future

all the more reason to do something out of his comfort zone.. it sounds like he has been rather indulged..

Two of my grandchildren are at uni and when I ask them what they want to do they really have no idea. One of them graduates next year in commerce and business studies. Still has no idea! The only one who seems to have a clue is my other grandson who is doing a medical degree but he is not sure what to specialise in afterwards, either. They change jobs a lot these days, don’t they ?

My experience when my son felt that although a talented sportsman he was good rather than exceptional at his chosen sport and left the development squad. His world was in tatters. Had a place at university but had no interest in it. Luckily for him he had a German girl friend and with her parents help he spent a gap year learning and working in Germany. He went to a language school attached to the local uni.
Whilst there he could think and the only advice we gave him was he should only have 1 year as a gap and get a good degree from a respected university in a field that interested him. Then think about the future as he will experience careers / paths we would have no knowledge of. He went to Southampton University and at university he matured and just “ flew” His German experience was very positive and is fluent in German. Whilst at Southampton he chose a path we could not have predicted and is married ( to his German sweet heart )
Having worked abroad , with his wife, they have settled in the UK with their children. I feel the gap year took off the pressure and gave him the space to think

I can recommend this book ' The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teenagers' by Steven Covey which I used with my daughter some fifteen years ago. Lots of good advice but the very first habit is ' Begin with an end in mind'. As others have suggested, visit a career advisor even if it means paying privately to get a real idea of what's out there and where his interest lies. Don't just join a big company in some boring low level role. We all have to start at the bottom, yes - but we need to know where we are going!

Eldest grandson has had a year out during which he worked in hospitality and has just gone to uni to do Business and Marketing. DH is very critical (when discussing him with me) and says that he worries about the lad's lack of purpose. However, DH was very sure about what he wanted to do from about 15 years old and finds it difficult to accept that not knowing precisely what you want to do is not necessarily a bad thing. My view is that DGS should be able to get a job when he finishes as his course is sort of vocational. He has a huge interest in cooking and food, so may very well combine that with his business knowledge.

My just 18 year old grandson in Australia is academically bright but just not interested in uni. He is doing his final year exams at parent’s insistence. He loves working with wood and generally building things and has been offered a 4 year apprenticeship with a small local construction company which involves 2 days a week at a TAFE college, the best of both worlds and he will be earning at the same time. I think his ultimate aim is to own his own company but it takes work and time to get there. His Dad is an architect so perhaps they’ll eventually combine forces 🤔. Apprenticeships seem the way to go for those not keen on academia

Has he tried to get a job eg Saturday or evening in any kind of establishment. May give him an insight into what working is all about albeit a basic level. Any of his personal interests may give some impetus about what to look into.

There should be someone at his 6th Form or College who can help him - a Careers Advisor or Tutor maybe. They will know what is out there for young people who don't want to go to University. Can he talk to anyone there?

Volunteering overseas could be the answer. A gap year

I have a granddaughter in 3rd year at university who is equally aimless. There seem to be fewer career focused apprenticeships attractive to girls. Her GCSEs and A levels are respectable and she is polite and good with people but not adventurous.
I think much of this is govts treating children so badly during the Covid years. Now being told their universities are worthless, apprentice schemes not being properly promoted or funded. No joke being young.

Normal for a teenager. I knew from age 7 I wanted to be a teacher but no idea whether Primary or Secondary....I had 1 daughter who knew, like me, from day dot she wanted to go to uni and be either a lawyer or a scientist. She's a scientist. My youngerdaughter had not a clue... took her years of trying different jobs She's now middle management in HR with an HR degree which she has completed whilst working. He will figure it out, try not to worry. I say this as a mum and as a retired secondary teacher. He should be offered career guidance at school.

Does he have a Saturday job that he enjoys? If not perhaps that would be a good start. My eldest grandson worked a Saturday job in a smallish local shop. After a year he moved into the Post office section, which he quite enjoyed. Then one day a friend who was a postman said they had a vacancy at their depot. He moved there and has been a postman for almost 4 years, a job he loves. It's very difficult as a teenager to see too far ahead and very few jobs nowadays are for life. Sounds as though his self confidence needs a bit of a boost.

Maybe he could look into the Prince's Trust Volunteer programme (a 12 week course to gain skills achieve qualification and build confidence), and speak to a careers adviser.

Like a few others have suggested, he needs to be encouraged to get jobs in small businesses to see if entrepreneurship is for him.
If so, he may then have the incentive to take some courses in marketting and business finance, etc.
**Please don't suggest that he go to university with no plan of what he wants to do!!
* What a terrible waste of time, money, and resources for folks to allow their kids to go to university with no plan!!
They need to go out to work for a year or two, and by then they'll probably have a better idea of what career they want to pursue.

From the posts on here it seems there have been and are expectations for this young man and maybe the pressure is just getting to him.

I think it's a shame when family members can't just let go of ideas and suggestions and show they care about him regardless of what he may or may not 'achieve.'

Try just having ordinary conversations and show your interest in who he is as a person and not just as someone who has to be someday he may not be.

Take the pressure off and just let him be until the light comes on for him.

At least things have moved on now. When I finished 6th form in 70s my careers teacher asked ' well do you want to be a teacher or a nurse or secretary?
No mention of university college or other careers! I ended up in banking but often regretted that lack of enthusiasm to encourage ( particularly girls) to look for exciting and stimulating careers.

I’d like to suggest he joins the Royal Navy - a chance to see the world, learn new skills, open up his horizons. I don’t think he’d be bored!

My son was much like all those mentioned above!! He eventually got a part time job at a large electrical store where the young women made use of him to get large boxes down from the upstairs storeroom (on a very regular basis!) He got quite annoyed about this and during one of his "moaning and groaning" sessions I suggested he do something about his C grade English GCSE and get a "proper" job!! He very quickly booked into evening classes to up his grade and after that took AAAT examinations and found that figurework and spreadsheets were what floated his boat! I certainly didn't see that one coming, but he then did agency work for a while until he found his niche and is very happy there. All we want is a happy ending for our offspring/GC isn't it?! Good luck to them all! Oh and not leaving jobs under a cloud was another bit of advice I gave him!

Our son decided not to pursue any academic future following a Business Studies year instead of A levels and joined the RAF, chosing electrical engineering as something which could be of use outside the forces if he decided to leave. It was the making of him and he thoroughly enjoyed his 27 years Career. It’s possible to join up and even go to university, depending on which career path is chosen.
All the best to him for whatever the future holds.

This sounds a bit like my GS a year ago.

He didn’t do very well at his A levels, despite being a bright lad, he was fed up with school and just didn’t work very hard. He had already decided he didn’t want to go to uni, so had little to strive for re grades.

So he left school, applied for about 40 jobs or apprenticeships, got no interest though many were well within his capabilities.

His dad managed to get him a placement in an electrical business, they found him keen enough to offer a job to. He was too late to start his college course then, but has now done so.

He seems to enjoy the work and camaraderie amongst the other chaps, and will hopefully qualify in a few years.

I never thought he would be any good at a ‘practical’ job, but am pleasantly surprised how he has taken to early starts and a hard-hat and working boots environment.

Uni is not for everyone, we all need electricians, plumbers, builders etc.

Having got to the second year of A levels I think it would be short sighted of him not to finish and do the exams.
Maybe a gap year after school ( or six as my son did) would help him find his way. My son travelled and lived and worked abroad , it helped him grow up and helped him decide what he wanted to do in life.

You could have been writing about my grandson who wants the same as yours, his own business selling something etc. I bought him the latest Debra Meadons book a couple of months ago and have got him 2 similar to give him at Christmas, he loved the one I bought him a couple of months ago he said it was interesting, hopefully he’ll like the other ones as well.

My eldest DGS is 17 and also having a difficult time.
Here in Scotland the Highers are taken in year 11 (5th year) He has 6 As but has become disillusioned and bored and is not working for advanced Highers now he's in year 12
He plays in a band and has lots of friends outside school.

My DS and DDiL are worried he will drop out completely.
There's a girl in the picture too.
I wish there wasn't the parental and school expectation. Poor boy.

I am a host for volunteers from all over the world and have been for 15 years. Over 200 youngsters have stayed with me for a few weeks and gone to other places too.
I would recommend this site:
www.helpx.net
or Workaway is another platform.
Ofcourse your DGS or mine may reject this idea but a gap year or even a gap few months, will give time to mature a bit.

It’s a long time for youngsters to study. GCSEs then A Levels then HE. My children did not relish seemingly endless studies so after A Levels they took time out to take a job and do some volunteering. They returned to their studies after a year in a combination of HE / College / University.
There’s a book I’d highly recommend: Occupations Directory in the reference section of public libraries. It lists full details of jobs including related occupations.
I would point out that many people do not work in the subject area of their Degree, so for now may be best to keep his options open.

2 of my children went to uni the 3rd wasn't interested. They dropped out of A levels in the 3rd month. They have always worked, in a variety of different jobs but are just money orientated rather than wanting a career. As they are very intelligent and hard working they have been offered promotion to a management level several times in different jobs, but always turned it down. They just see work as a means to making enough money for a nice car, good holidays and comfortable living without any responsibility that comes with promotion.
They are happy and popular so it's their choice at the end of the day. Not all children want a career.