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Grandparenting

Teenage grandson seems somewhat lost as to his future

(52 Posts)
Skydancer Sun 29-Sept-24 12:51:50

Am a bit concerned about teenage grandson. He is in the 2nd year of A levels but is bored with study and definitely does not want to go to university. He dreams of running own business but hasn't a clue where to start. He has no real ideas. I think he has been influenced by programmes like Dragon's Den and seems to think running a business is easier than it actually is. I can see that he is not his usual cheerful self and feel that he may be getting a bit disillusioned about life. A few of his friends know what they want to do and are setting off on their various paths but he seems somewhat lost. At that age there is so much going on as we all know. His parents just want him to be happy as do I. Last week he said he felt he was getting nowhere personally and that he was useless. I don't know what to advise him and obviously I am only the grandparent so can't involve myself too much but in any case I don't know what to say. My only advice has been to get a job with a big company where there are prospects to move up the ladder. He is personable and presentable which is a good start.

halfpint1 Sun 29-Sept-24 13:02:37

My daughter was like this. Fortunately a good career advise person asked her to look at a long list of job options and mark any which drew any interest. She chose horticulteur, it served as a springboard in her life

Hithere Sun 29-Sept-24 13:07:55

It is normal for a teenager to be unsure his/her future

"My only advice has been to get a job with a big company where there are prospects to move up the ladder. "

There are so many more career opportunities these days than joining your suggestion, luckily

Do you know how hard and cuttthroat is to get promoted? Avoid layoffs? How political it is?

Cabbie21 Sun 29-Sept-24 13:39:55

Nowadays people rarely stay on one job for life, maybe not even one profession.
Eg My daughter started in banking( trainee manager) then had a total change and went to university to study law. After some years as a solicitor she became self- employed, with income from various sources.
Her son, in Year 12, is thinking of a degree apprenticeship. He might get one with a firm where he did some work experience.

There are no obvious answers and things can change. Does his school/ college have any careers guidance?

ferry23 Sun 29-Sept-24 13:43:27

I'm still trying to decide what to do when I grow up and I'm in my 70's grin.

No job is guaranteed these days, and I think the idea of writing a list of what interests you is a good way to start. It's surprising how many ideas can spring from one personal interest.

Jaxjacky Sun 29-Sept-24 13:43:39

Does he have any hobbies? Perhaps something associated with one of them.

Ilovecheese Sun 29-Sept-24 13:47:48

If he has any hobbies that he enjoys he could look careers that might hold an element of that hobby.
There is nothing wrong with being self employed and lots of variety.
I wouldn't mention that you don't think he is clever enough to run a business.

fancythat Sun 29-Sept-24 13:49:34

Advise him to get Careers books out of the library.

fancythat Sun 29-Sept-24 13:50:26

As in , it make kick start something he might want to start a business in.
Or head of in a different direction entirely.

fancythat Sun 29-Sept-24 13:50:42

off not of. sorry.

valdavi Sun 29-Sept-24 14:02:36

Being self-employed can be pretty stressful & if you employ people you have a whole other set of hostages to fortune to feel responsible for. My parents were & my husband is, really cos they are/ were in areas where it's the accepted career path, but I've always wanted to be employed & go home at the end of the day & have a seperate life from work.

Nannarose Sun 29-Sept-24 14:03:45

Would it help to suggest that getting a job in a small business would help him to observe the world of work and the issues around running a business?
One of the best jobs is to work in a pub / small restaurant / cafe. You see all the minutiae of running a business, you hear a lot of what influences people to spend, or not spend money. These jobs are usually fairly easy to come by. It doesn't matter that you might not have an interest in food & drink, it's that they are accessible businesses. The hours also lend themselves to part-time & flexible working.
Good luck!

pascal30 Sun 29-Sept-24 14:16:46

Has anyone thought of him doing voluntary work abroad? He would be well supervised, living with other young people, doing something useful and learning a lot of new skills whilst he matures a bit more.. I expect all the participants would talk about life choices together.. and he could have a fantastic experience..

Sago Sun 29-Sept-24 14:54:31

pascal30

Has anyone thought of him doing voluntary work abroad? He would be well supervised, living with other young people, doing something useful and learning a lot of new skills whilst he matures a bit more.. I expect all the participants would talk about life choices together.. and he could have a fantastic experience..

Our son said university wasn’t for him.
At 18 he went and worked for a charity in India then Central Asia.
He came home and applied to university but an overseas university.
He literally went away a boy and came home a man.
I think travel and good work experience is worth so much.

pascal30 Sun 29-Sept-24 14:58:02

Sago

pascal30

Has anyone thought of him doing voluntary work abroad? He would be well supervised, living with other young people, doing something useful and learning a lot of new skills whilst he matures a bit more.. I expect all the participants would talk about life choices together.. and he could have a fantastic experience..

Our son said university wasn’t for him.
At 18 he went and worked for a charity in India then Central Asia.
He came home and applied to university but an overseas university.
He literally went away a boy and came home a man.
I think travel and good work experience is worth so much.

wonderful Sago.. and I bet he is super compassionate now..

pandapatch Sun 29-Sept-24 15:27:41

Apprenticeship? Then he could have his own plumbing (or whatever) business in the future

Skydancer Sun 29-Sept-24 18:00:05

Some very good ideas here which I will certainly drop into conversation. Thank you, GNetters. I can always rely on good advice on this site.

catherine123 Mon 30-Sept-24 11:26:40

i have two grandsons starting A levels both very different one thinks he is a failure the other is very confident both lovely young men and they do talk to each other, uni isnt for everyone and they are so young to be decideing what they want to do i know how concerned you mist be i just listen dont really give advice sometimes they want to get things off their chest wishing him all the best and you take care x

Cath9 Mon 30-Sept-24 11:38:59

As I am also called Catherine I felt I had to give you a suggestion although you have been given a lot already.
As he is still at school he is bound to feel this way and I am sure will sort himself out in the end.
When my two were in their last few years of their junior school I put them on various clubs, like the junior sailing club another one that took them on a Swallow & Amerzon trip for a week etc.
Then when aged 14 they both went on an Outward Bound Course which completely made them think ahead witout any concern etc. Even though you mention your grandson is around 17 yrs of age they do take in people of all ages.

GrannySomerset Mon 30-Sept-24 11:48:40

I too have a much loved grandson who has absolutely no initiative or willingness to try hard despite being in his A level year. His parents are making it clear that sitting around at home will not be an option and he will need to find some form of employment, however lowly. As an adopted child he doesn’t have his father’s intellect or drive but he is a nice, but lazy, young man. I really don’t know what the answer is going to be as any suggestions are met with a tolerant shrug of the shoulders!

mabon1 Mon 30-Sept-24 11:51:32

I didn't have a clue what I wanted to do at 18 years of age, who really does? Had a place at Bristol University to study law, but didn't take it up. Eventually worked in mental health, great career.

JaneJudge Mon 30-Sept-24 11:53:39

One of mine was like this with A levels, I think they find it tough still being at school. I’d just concentrate on him getting through this year and seeing results. Mine didn’t want to go to uni but applied at the last minute and did a foundation year which really boosted their confidence and then absolutely flew through a very difficult degree. Sometimes they surprise you smile but as everyone says, it’s normal and there are so many different avenues to go down that are completely different to A levels (and generally more fun)

Cashi Mon 30-Sept-24 11:54:40

Need suggestions for my g'son, once an A grade Academic, now lost heart with job prospects in Nth Qld.. what to do. Very concerned!!!

AJKW Mon 30-Sept-24 12:05:40

My youngest son was in a similar position. He excelled at the A levels he loved, ie Business Studies and Sociology, but didn’t make much effort with History.
He started out at Uni, doing Business Studies, but to be honest he wasn’t totally convinced it was for him and dropped out after only a few months. Then he applied for apprenticeships, he was fortunate and got himself onto an apprenticeship almost immediately, and he’s never looked back. I’ve never seen him so enthusiastic about anything, the feedback from his employer is amazing.
Don’t lose hope, but they don’t all want to go down the same route.

Skydancer Mon 30-Sept-24 12:10:36

Thank you, everyone. Some interesting tales here. My GS has done quite a bit of travelling to different countries with both of his parents and also with some friends (relatives live overseas). Although this is great I do think it might have made him one of those people who does not get excited about much as he has already done such a lot - too much to mention on here. He once wanted to be a sportsman but realised he wasn't good enough which disappointed him. He also realises how difficult self-employment is. He is easily bored and I am so afraid that he will become disillusioned at a young age and would like to be able to instill some enthusiasm into him. On the plus side, he does have a part-time job which brings him in spending money and also is good experience in the world of work. I know we worry about them but most of them end up okay in the end I suppose but worrying is just part of being a grandparent.