Friend happy she has no grandchildren as world is scary place

MissAdventure

Yes, I'd bring a baby into the world if i was young, just as our own children have.

I'd drive a 4x4 to the nearest coffee shop, and stagger around under a great big cup of skinny latte whatever, fly off on holiday, and everything else young parents do.

If this is not sarcasm I totally agree with you, only I would not have a skinny latte, a normal one for me.
I speak as someone who never cared if I was a Gran, people found that odd, but now I have them I love it.

MissAdventure

Yes, I'd bring a baby into the world if i was young, just as our own children have.

I'd drive a 4x4 to the nearest coffee shop, and stagger around under a great big cup of skinny latte whatever, fly off on holiday, and everything else young parents do.

😁

MissAdventure

Yes, I'd bring a baby into the world if i was young, just as our own children have.

I'd drive a 4x4 to the nearest coffee shop, and stagger around under a great big cup of skinny latte whatever, fly off on holiday, and everything else young parents do.

Oh Lord MissA - then you would be one of those Mum's everyone on Fb moans about - probably parking on the zig-zags outside the school, or blocking someone's drive picking your kids up from dance class, chucking your Costa cup out of the car window and swanning off to The Azores in term time.

We planned to have no children when we married in 1971 because of the threat of Nuclear War but, when one baby came along in 1974 we thought we'd better have another to keep her company. Since then one child and one grandchild has been diagnosed with a very distressing hereditary illness which I also inherited from my dad. I didn't know it was hereditary, I thought his stressful job had caused the condition. Now I worry as much about the possibility of war as I do about their health....but I don't regret having them....

what happened to all those women who decided in the 1960s/70s not to have children becaus eof their beleif that a nuclear war was imminent? Did they stay childless? Do they regret it?

A Jeremiah of a friend 🙄
As said upthread, it’s not news that life can be difficult, but there is so much joy alongside pain in new life coming into the world, I cannot sympathise with such statements.

The natural order of things is not perfect, but in this case, I believe life should go on and for myself, I wish I had had ten children and lots and lots of GC.

M0nica

what happened to all those women who decided in the 1960s/70s not to have children becaus eof their beleif that a nuclear war was imminent? Did they stay childless? Do they regret it?

My oldest friend has never had children despite being really good with youngsters. I don’t think she regrets it. She has many childless friends, too, who seem to have happy lives.

My parents had some kind of genetic counselling in the 1940s because they were concerned about a hereditary condition. The "expert" told them it was unlikely to be passed on because they came from very different stock
So after 10 years of marriage they had us!

I watched the film Joy yesterday
about the first test tube baby
The team of scientists were subjected to much condemnation at the time because of what they were doing bringing more babies into an already overpopulated world. There must have been an incredible desire to have a child. Since 1978 there have been over 12 million babies born by IVF.

I can recall having my first child & someone asked me was I not worried about the state of the world . My eldest daughter is now 47! 3 more children & 8 grandchildren yes I worry the world is a mess and a dangerous place but I have hope that there are enough good people in the world too . You can only do your best

Yes I would. I don't understand why her attitude bothers you.

Two of my children have one child each deciding if they did go down the children route it would only be one. My late DD decided no children, her reason, there are too many people here already. Humans/industry/scientists have created the mess in the world both current and previous. Scientists will hopefully find ways to reduce the pollution issue but it will take decades. We seem to resolve one issue but create another. Very simple examples eg electric cars not using petrol/ diesel but how are the materials for manufacture produced/obtained; disposable nappies reduce use of domestic washing machines and water but how are they manufactured and disposed off. Clothing, made from man made materials shipped from all over the world great for us as less ironing and many ranges very very cheap. I am glad my family has stopped at 1 and if I could go back in time I wouldn't have any children.

I can understand that feeling and it's such a shame

I was born in the war and I have often thought what a brave choice it was for my parents to start a family with a war going on and my father in the RAF. My mother told me "life goes on" and I guess that's the crux of it. I guess we are hard-wired to reproduce to ensure the contnuatioin of the human species. That said, I don't think I would have been brave enough to bring a child into the world in the middle of WW2and no idication of when and how it might end.

One of my adult children hastny got children he says I wouldn’t want to bring children into this world he would make a fantastic dad but I totally agree with him as if I had my time over again I wouldn’t either

Well, if she is happy that's fine, but none of us would be here if our parents or grandparents after the world war that occurred when they were young, had decided, as some people did in both the ninteen twenties andin fifties not to have children.

If I were young, I would go ahead and have as many children as I wanted, in the hope that they and their children would make the world a better place.

We had a discussion about the state of the world many years ago and we came to the conclusion that if everyone stopped having children mankind would become extinct much sooner as the birth rate seems to be declining year on year.

People have always said that. There has always been danger.

You can’t live your life thinking there is a disaster coming. In my twenties, in the eighties two work colleagues told me that they had decided not to have children as there was likely to be a nuclear war soon. I said to one of them, ‘Good, I won’t feel guilty about having three children in the future then.’ I meant what I said and had three children. Have five grandchildren now and glad they were born. All we can do is hope for world peace and hope we are not destroying the planet.

I’m fortunate enough to have nine grandchildren aged 18 down to 5, I’m very glad my children decided to have children, the world can be an awful place with some very awful people, however if all the reasonably sensible good folk stop having children what is society left with?

I too questioned the same thoughts of should I bring a child into this world? That was 44 years ago and I am glad I changed my mind. I wouldn’t be without my daughters now and have 7 grandchildren. I appreciate though it’s a dilemma maybe every generation faces. Yes the world can be a scary place, but we keep on going despite that.

Imagine having children during the 100 years war - not that they knew it would last that long! Or in any of the world wars. Or the Cuba crisis. The future always looks scary. Best to keep faith, hope for the best and don’t listen too much to social media.

But looking on the bright side perhaps this new generation will be the generation that actively strives towards a fairer world and just as some really good people have stood out throughout history I imagine some are not yet born.

I'm glad I have GC and still hope one day that DD finds a good man and gives me more. She wants children but is single, though she adores her nephew and niece and spoils them rotten. I know a few people who decided not to have children, some because of overpopulation, some because they just had no desire for them. Equally I've met a few who couldn't have children and the desire for them was all consuming. Some were able to adopt and others managed through IVF. The desire for children is something we can't turn on and off like a tap if it is there in us.
And don't get me started about the pressure my in-laws put on us to give them grandchildren! They started when we got home from honeymoon! They disapproved of me as I was older than their DS and they thought I might be too old so they started dropping heavy hints very quickly!

I tend to think optimistically. It's getting harder!
But seriously, the world has always been scary. I'm glad I have children and grandchildren. I'd happily have more if I could.

4allweknow

Two of my children have one child each deciding if they did go down the children route it would only be one. My late DD decided no children, her reason, there are too many people here already. Humans/industry/scientists have created the mess in the world both current and previous. Scientists will hopefully find ways to reduce the pollution issue but it will take decades. We seem to resolve one issue but create another. Very simple examples eg electric cars not using petrol/ diesel but how are the materials for manufacture produced/obtained; disposable nappies reduce use of domestic washing machines and water but how are they manufactured and disposed off. Clothing, made from man made materials shipped from all over the world great for us as less ironing and many ranges very very cheap. I am glad my family has stopped at 1 and if I could go back in time I wouldn't have any children.

So sorry for the loss of your daughter

Ive got to ask though, even though you've got your other two kids and two grandkids youd still go back in time and not have any of them if you could?

Not meaning to criticise, just genuinely curious as I have often wondered what would have happened if I didn't have one of my kids, because we are estranged and it feels like I wasted so much love, effort and resources.