Funny things children say

We explained to our DD how babies are made. She was about 4 or 5 at the time (she's now 51 and has two big sons.)
" Oh", she said. "You must have wanted us VERY much to do THAT."

When my grandson was little and having a vaccination and naturally feeling very upset about it asked the nurse 'why are you putting holes in mine arm?

When I started school at the age of 4 many moons ago. I went home and told my mother that the teacher had said it would be good to have a farting pen. I remember my mother laughing her head over this. My young grandson was hearing about how I didn’t have a tv or a telephone etc when I was young. When walking through the park he asked me if there was grass when I was little.

DH and I always comment,”it’s a bit oggy” if it’s misty, after the then 3year old said it very conversationally. 😂

Sheian57

My younger brother once stated that God's name was Peter, as the congregation said " thanks Peter God" (thanks be to God), after the priest speaks in a Catholic mass.

I said this (nearly) too. I asked my parents why we thanked Peter Guard at the end of the Mass when the priest was called “Canon McNicholas”. Was robbed about it for years.

When my son was about 3 I bought him a shirt and shorts set (in about March) ready for Spring and warmer weather. He saw it hanging up and asked if he could wear it. I said, 'Not yet, it's too cold.' When I looked a few moments later - he had put it on the radiator!

After having sex education lesson at primary school, I asked my son if he had any questions or would he prefer to talk to his dad. The reply was no, neither & i do not want to discuss it EVER again. I still remember the look of disgust on his face, it did make me giggle.

In the general confession there is the statement "We have done those things which we ought not to have done" In a loud voice everyone could hear , little brother and "Why have we , Mummy?"

My older son, aged about 6 at the time, came home from school after a rehearsal for the nativity play singing that Mary was a "highly flavoured lady" .

Our 7 year old grandson asked his papa the other day if he would explain Einstein's theory of relativity to him and asked how time was the fourth dimension. I'm a retired maths lecturer and he's keeping me on my toes nowadays. I'll have to start studying again!

My DD was in her car seat in the back of the car while I was driving. She gave an enormous sneeze. "Mummy ", she said, " there is bless you all down my chin". I had to laugh.

Damdee

My four year old grandson was complaining about his school Nativity play. 'I am a chef' he said 'And I wanted to be a queen!'

'You are a shepherd' my daughter told him, 'and you wanted to be a king!'

That’s priceless!

Still tease my 46 year old son with his reply to his Nan’s telling him to ‘Be Quick’! His reply was ‘I’m quicking as quick as I can quick!

When my son was about 10 he came home from school and told me they had been given a talk ‘about growing up and sex and stuff’. They’d apparently had separate talks for girls and boys. When I asked him if it was interesting and if he understood it all he said ‘Yes, but it doesn’t seem fair because the girls all came out of their talk with party bags’.

My grandson, when about 3, used to call the motorway near us the “Empty-Twentyfive”. Rather a misnomer.

Thanks all of these. I am in hospital and they have given me a lift

My younger brother once stated that God's name was Peter, as the congregation said " thanks Peter God" (thanks be to God), after the priest speaks in a Catholic mass.

Popping round to my neighbours one Sunday morning their 9 year old son answered the door, when asking him if mum or dad were in? Yes he replied, but they’re still in bed, then in hushed tones whispered “ I think they’re mating”.

When my son was 3 or 4 , he rushed to tell me that he had got a Boots Vulture (voucher) from Granny!! I loved the idea of the vultures sat along the top of the cash register!! So we always have "vultures" that provide babysitting or make up!. Another time my son had been talking about pets at school and his friends. We were eating fish and chips , and he said "please pass the guinea pig "(vinegar!) . There are many highly amusing things that I heard or read from junior school children that I taught. Their parents would have blushed to know just how much I was told about what they wore (or not) in bed, or who shouted at who and what did this or that word mean!!! I have been seriously informed by a 7 year old , that it is best not to answer the door to x or y, but if you have to its best if the 10 year old answers and says that Mummy is out at the moment!!

When my GD had sex lessons aged about 7 she came home and said the man puts his peanut into the woman's machina!

My son came home from primary school telling us they had mass at school with our priest. We ask what was the reason for the mass to which he replied it was a holiday of obliteration ( he meant obligation) as Jesus had absconded into to heaven rather than ascended into heaven. He’s 36 now and still gets ribbed about it.

My 9yr old granddaughter loving my fluffy jacket asked if I could buy her one for Christmas. “I think you have enough on your list,” To which she replied “just buy it now then.” You have to laugh so innocent.

Our littlest grandson (4) told his mum and dad that Mary had to ride on a donkey because “they don’t have cars in Bethlehem- it’s like Centre Parcs”.

My daughter announced that she loved eating clocolate sitting in the par cark! Her older sister had a GCSE text book “Higher Chemistry”, my youngest asked if she’d hired it from school!

My son was very small when he came out with 'Mummy, do you remember when I was in your tummy? I was very sad'. When I asked why, he said 'because I could see all the food you were eating but I couldn't have any!'