Funny things children say

I'd been singing Christmas songs to my long-suffering sons. One evening DS2 said: 'Sing snowly roundabout Mummy' It took a moment of two to realise he was talking about Good King Wenceslas.

"Why have you got lines on your face, Granny?". Did they have electricity when you were a girl, Mummy? Most embarrassing: "Where's his other leg, Mummy?" loud voice in the butcher's where a one-legged man was waiting to be served.

When my DD was about four she stared intently at the brown spot on my arm and said “I’ve got one of those it’s called a hedgehog”. Of course she meant a mole!

Another time we went to our VERY house proud sister in law’s house for dinner. My DD looked up at the small candelabra over the table and said”that’s very nice, is it an antique”? When told no she said “Oh it looks like one, it’s even got cobwebs on it”!

I took my GC to a large toy store to buy the toys from their list to pass onto father Christmas. One of the GC commented that there are a lot of parcels for me to wrap and asked how long it would take me. I said well with my arthritic hands probably over two hours. Her reply was it’s a pity about all that work Nanny it will take us two minutes to unwrap them. My GC don’t mess around they say it how it is and I love that.

My then five year old daughter came home from school and said they had been learning about the human body.

She told me, in a very serious tone:

'The fuming body is nothing to be ashamed about'.

Ages ago, but I was with DSis in her car, with a just-2 year old niece strapped into her back seat.
DSis was cautiously reversing down the drive into the road, when little niece piped up, ‘OK left!’

When my daughter was about four, to all our dismay, her daddy had to go up to London for a week on a course for his job. He told me he was sharing an hotel room with a colleague. Later, my daughter and I went shopping and we bumped into a very posh acquaintance of my mother’s. She asked how my husband was and my daughter piped up with, ‘My Daddy’s up in London and he’s sleeping with somebody else!’
The lady’s face was a picture! I’m sure she didn’t believe my explanation, particularly because my mum later said she had been rather ‘off’ with her the next day and didn’t want to stop and chat!

My 3 year old grandson recently had chickenpox. Two weeks later his baby brother caught them and T told me ." I gave A my spots. But I didn't mean to!"😍

My son asked “where are the toys I had when I was in your tummy”. I said you “didn’t have any toys”, he asked “why not” I said “you didn’t need them”, “ yes I did” he said, “I would have liked some toys”. No answer to that

When I offered to put a tartan rug on the grass for my GD to sunbathe she said no thanks granny can’t I get a sunlounger so I can be closer to the sun…..

Sadgrandma

As Michael Caine said “Not a lot of people know that”!

Not a lot of people wanta know that! 😂

Scrappydo

After having sex education lesson at primary school, I asked my son if he had any questions or would he prefer to talk to his dad. The reply was no, neither & i do not want to discuss it EVER again. I still remember the look of disgust on his face, it did make me giggle.

When talking about this to my twins at about 10 years old, one DD pulled a face and the other said ‘ So if I want two babies when I’m married I have to do that twice?! I tried not to laugh.

2yr old brother inline at store,touched the black gentleman in front and asked it was choolate the man was wonderful and talked to him about it tiny 2 yr old boy i was 15 at the time
20yrs later i was in aline and my tattoos were visible a i 3yr old was playing with my pegasus horsiiiiii patting and telling mommy look

This is not a funny saying but thought it might make you laugh. I’m laughing now but wasn’t yesterday.
Our DGD stayed the night with us on Friday night as we were taking her on a train ride to see Father Christmas on Saturday. She got up to go to the loo in the night and left her bunny (her constant companion since birth) on the laundry bin. I followed her in and noticed it so thought she’d go back to sleep and I’d sneak it in. However, when I came out I found all the lights on, she’d woken Grandad in tears and a major bunny hunt was going on! Reunited with bunny back to bed she went.
The next morning we were gathering her things together, just as we were setting off for the train ride, blooming bunny had gone AWOL again. After a half hour hunt, where we stripped beds and looked in every nook and cranny, she was finally found under the Christmas tree!
But that’s not the end of the story. When Father Christmas visited on the train he gave her a golden ticket to choose a toy from Mrs Claus’s workshop and she choose another blooming bunny. We set off back to the car which was a long walk and the heavens opened. DGD put new bunny inside her coat to keep it dry. Almost back at the car which well, I expect you’ve guessed SHE’D LOST THE BUNNY! Grandad took her on the long walk back but returned with a tearful DGD and no bunny. Just about to give up we decided as a last resort to check at the main desk in case it had been handed in and there it was sitting for all the world to see, phew!!
I NOW HATE BUNNIES and threatened bunny pie for dinner!

I didn’t know where to put this, but I thought it was funny :

Love it !

Really funny

My 2.5yr old grandson, upon seeing a bald man whilst out with this mother, pointed and said, “Look! That man’s wearing no hair!”

I love it*Crazy*. It reminded me of the time when a woman at a gym was looking for an electric socket to plug in her music player.
The silly woman pulled out the plug of the treadmill on which I was running!! I was lucky not to be catapulted over the handle bars.

Grandchild's birthday today, but had celebrations at weekend. This morning he told his teacher "You know, I'm officially poor!"
He's not quite there with his F sounds yet 😂

My ds was obsessed with Thomas the tank engine and friends when he was two. His speech wasn't clear and we were shopping and saw a huge display of Thomas and others. As we passed ds wailed, " I want the fu controller." You can guess what it sounded like 👀

Nanacool

When my GD had sex lessons aged about 7 she came home and said the man puts his peanut into the woman's machina!

...making... peanut butter???
🤔

I bought my DH a train driving experience for Christmas. Later when he was telling my DD and SIL about a mournful little eight year old voice piped up “That won’t end well”!

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