No visitors at the hospital

My mum taught me how to breastfeed. Midwives were hopeless( 1980’s) .Wanting “ time to bond” over the first few days is just a silly fad set off in social media, by people who have no idea how handy it is to have a steady pair of hands ready when as new parents, you are sleepless and clueless! I’m a gran to six now, this has never happened to me yet. But don’t let it get to you, their baby, their rules. You’ll soon be able to cuddle your new grandchild.

Oh dear Siobhan Sharpe! 5 minutes to say hello to precious grandchild is classed as "pushy"?? If anyone is selfish here....it's the parents! Who no doubt will be calling on gran and granddad to babysit/childsit for the next umpteen years!!! Just saying!!

American?

I can’t help but wonder if we will see a thread over on Mumsnet in the next week or two asking for help on how to cope with a pushy MIL who is ignoring the parents’ wishes about not visiting for a few days after their baby’s birth…
And is also creating a huge drama about it.
There will be people who advise severely limiting contact going forwards for selfish grandparents who prioritise their own needs. Just saying.

I gave birth to DD in 1996 is Sweden and they had a very strict no visitors rule for the 48-72 hours spent in hospital. I was very glad of it as my birth had been terrible and it was great to have a few quiet days with DH for both of us to recover. DD could have gone home after 4 days but I was kept for 7 (and the midwives tried to convince me to stay for 10) because of it.

I think it very wise for them to restrict visitors in the early days - generally hospital stays are very short between 6 and 24 hours so I don't think it unreasonable to give the new mum a few hours rest and avoid the spread of illnesses from relatives passing around the new baby.

My mum didn't get to Sweden until 5 weeks later and she had a lovely relationship with her GD. MIL didn't meet DD for 12 weeks as neither of us could make the trip before then.

Please don’t spoil their first days as parents by making this about you. It isn’t, and your role as a grandparent is to support, support, support parents in their decisions.
You will have to do a lot of tongue-biting over the next few years, (I know from experience!) so start practising!

you are not taking away any "bonding" by seeing your grandchild early on! I agree tootsiehughie but that's how things seem to be now, so the only thing you can do is go along with it.

Their baby, their choice, can't understand the upset over not being able to see the baby straight away. They are going through a very special, huge moment in their lives and want to be alone to bond with their new baby and to take pleasure in these precious moments.
They might also appreciate not being bombarded with visits as soon as they get home. Let them know you want to see the baby whenever suits them.

So agree with Merlotgran. For goodness sake....you are not taking away any "bonding" by seeing your grandchild early on! Honestly....these modern day luvvies think they know everything. It will make absolutely no difference to the baby if you "pop in" for a few minutes. And of course, it will make you as grandparent very happy. If the parents can't agree to this then I feel very sorry for you.

All my grandchildren were either born abroad or I was working abroad. I didn't see any of them till they were 3 weeks old, I have 7 of them and one was a year old before I saw her. But I never felt cheated, so I can't actually relate to this post. However the advice given to take a step back at this point seems good advice to me, pushing the point would probably only set up resentments and that wouldn't help as they get older.

They will be home within 24hrs, my DD had a baby 10 months ago, I didn't expect to go in.
She Wotsapp me and was home in less than 24hrs.
You will soon have the little one in your arms don't worry.

Get a grip You are completely over reacting and if you carry on like thisthen expect to be banned from visiting when they get home too!

Congratulations and welcome to the world of grandparenting! Experience has taught me that how we imagine things to pan out, is usually not how it happens. I would try not to pre empt any of the key moments and always remind yourself that this is your grandchild, not your child. Of course grandchildren are special to us and much loved but we can’t build things up in our minds to make them the be all and end all of our lives. You will see your grandchild in time and probably in circumstances decided by the parents. Let that be, enjoy the time you do have and feel grateful for such joy.
Another little tip, if you’re into crafts etc, you can channel some of that love into making a little something for the baby while you’re waiting. I find it really helps to surround myself in hand knitted and crocheted monkeys, bunnies, blankets and booties. And they are always gratefully received

I was surprised to hear of concern over bugs being reason baby was not to be visited by wider family/friends in the early days. I thought babies were born with heightened immunity but not the case apparantly.

I`m another oddity then, like UTBB, I couldn`t wait for visitors to arrive and admire my babies. When I had baby number 2, my in-laws came to our house just after I got home, and I left the room to breast feed her. My MIL said "where are you going?" I said to feed the baby. She said "Sit yourself down, he`s seen titty before, haven`t you Pop?" Talk about blushing, lol!!

I really have to agree with the general tone of the replies . When I was a new , young mother the last person wanted pushing in was my MinL . Even my own mother would have left us alone but then she was wise .

Yes, if only …🙄

I was crushed too

Why were YOU crushed?

The baby was healthy, his mum was healthy , your son (his dad) was a proud dad - what is there to be “crushed” about ?

If only some DM’s/MILs/grans would recognise it’s not all about you.

Sago

No response from the OP!
This story raises its head from time to time and always from a new poster.
I think it is just a story!

I had been thinking the same so I didnt reply.

The birth of a child is only for the mother and father. It's not for an audience. They'll just have to bide their time.

Whilst I'm sorry you are disappointed, I suggest you wait patiently. Wait to be invited, meanwhile perhaps send over takeaway, pay a cleaner.

The same thing happened to me. My daughter in law had a traumatic birth with guy before my son met her, 10 years previous and he was a bustard to her n baby. This time she wanted it private and special for herself, my son, her eldest son and new baby. I was crushed too, but I have the rest of my life. You just have to respect their wishes. They're not being deliberately spiteful. X

Salti

I think you are being unreasonable. Try and remember when you gave birth to your son. Even if it was an uncomplicated birth, did you really want to receive visitors within hours??

Yes, I had the most beautiful baby in the world and I couldn't wait to show him off. I was slightly calmer with the 2nd, 3rd and 4th ones but with the first I think I was a bit high.

With all 3 of mine I was out within hours and had no time for visitors.

In that time I had to do a first wee, blood tests and an injections, had checks, all the numbing stuff was wearing off, I'd leaked and needed to change, I was learning to breast feed and the feeding for hours to get my milk in, having a wash, eat and that was just me! Baby needs checks, blood tests, getting dressed, their first poo and not forgetting the bloody bounty woman, then packing everything up and waiting to get signed.

Let them get home, it's not just about the baby, there's a new mom recovering too and being the most vulnerable she's ever been.

No response from the OP!
This story raises its head from time to time and always from a new poster.
I think it is just a story!