Daughter prioritises her dad and partner

Sorry, you did say in the title of your thread that DD has a partner. Anyway, all the best to you and yours.

Her dad is looking after the child rather than her mum, maybe she loves you equally and trusts both of you with the child. You dont say how old the child is but the child could have asked to stay with their grandfather.

You don't mention if your DD has partner or not. If she does, then presumably they will be the birth partner but you will probably be called upon for babysitting and generally helping out after the birth and you will have the enjoyment of getting to know the new baby.

You must still, understandably, be feeling very hurt and raw about the break up. Women do not usually stay in hospital very long these days so your ex and his new partner would probably only be babysitting for a short while.

My experience of extended families is that is best for the children to have everybody on board who cares about them and for them to be, at least superficially, as amicable with each other as possible. I know this will be very hard for you in view of what happened you to through no fault of your own.

I wish you all the best for the future. You are obviously a very caring and sensitive person. Your daughter is very lucky to have you and your grandchildren, present and future, are lucky too.

Being a grandparent is a privilege not a competition. Your DD might feel that she could possibly need you at the birth, she might feel more confident that her child is being cared for by two people instead of just you on your own…….either way, this is her choice. Please do not damage your relationship with her by objecting to the OW having contact with your DGC.

I guess she’s secure in her bond with you and is now trying to build some bridges with her dad, perhaps trying to deal with the negative emotions she felt when he left.

She’s mature enough to recognise that he still has a part to play as her children’s grandad.

You’ve done a really good job raising a person like this. Now it’s working to your disadvantage a bit. I don’t expect she meant to hurt you for a moment.

There could be any number of reasons for this.

I'm sorry you feel like this.
Grandparenting isn't a competition and you'll always be your daughter's mum.

Congratulations on grandchild number 2 and all good wishes for a straightforward labour and healthy baby for your daughter.

Could she be thinking that you would be free to support her at the birth if she needed you? You couldn't go to her if you were babysitting.