Reality vs expectations

I suppose that's the point though, Kittyleicester - you aren't overused.

If you were overused you would be constantly exhausted like one of my friends who does two days with one set of grandchildren and three with the other.
We have one or two of our grandchildren at a time, quite often - but not because it's expected of us but because it helps out the parents and suits us. Each time is a separate "ask" so we don't do every Monday or 3 days a week or whatever.

We are lucky that there's not lots of travel involved too.

I am involved in childcare for my grandchildren and am happy with how much I offer/ how much is expected of me.
However, I agree with Retread, the age at which we become grandparents is relevant.
I am in my seventies and my youngest grandchild is two ( probably not my last one).
When my mother was my age, her grandchildren ranged from teenagers to adults in their twenties.
No wonder we feel weary, sometimes.

Thanks for all your responses
It’s a common dilemma !

We will have an opportunity soon to reset out caring commitments and will be more realistic and honest this time than we were at the beginning

Also we are several years older than when we started

We love the fact we have great relationships with the GC and enjoy their company

We do however get a bit fed up with the constant bugs we pick up which take much longer for us to get over than the GC

Kitty does add we are lucky that we are not overused. I think problems arise when child care by grandparents is taken for granted. I have several friends who are expected to offer "wraparound" childcare for grandchildren, and who are exhausted all the time.

I think it is important to build a relationship with grandchildren and I'm lucky to be the "fun granny" not the "full time granny".

Another factor is - with this generation of parents having their children later, grandparents are older too. My mother was a granny at 50. My first grandchild was born when I was 66...

Of course I drop everything when there's a crisis or an emergency to help look after grandchildren. Including yesterday my neighbour's four grandchildren!

I am always happy to look after the GC, currently been at one AC’s for a week teen sitting

DH stayed at home to do school pick up
for other GC.

Like kitty posted, they only need us for a short time, hopefully we have made good memories together 🩷💙

I’m with kitty - it’s a joy and a privilege for me, although also exhausting and I haven’t had so many coughs & colds since my own children were tiny. But I have consistently said I will do it if I can and if can’t, I will say so! I’ve done 2/3 days a week for about 3 years.

I think a little bit differently - i am happy to have them whenever needed - this period doesn't last long.

We are lucky that we are not overused.

I agree with both of the previous comments. Its also all too easy to over commit at the beginning, especially if one is a new grandparent. The reality can then become a bit of a chore at times as small children are exhausting and if you are unwell yourself - often caused by the germs children catch from nursery, which seems constant, then that takes its toll too.
Setting boundaries from the beginning is the way to go and realising your limitations.

We do not do any regular childcare - but it's easier to say no right at the start I think than to cut back once started.

I'm another who thinks you need to be honest - and now is a good time ahead of the new academic year.

This is a very familiar story. Our generation seem to be called upon for unlimited child care. I had my GC ( 6 of them with a wide age range) one day each week , would do more in an emergency. The children were brought to our house and that arrangement worked well. I don't regret a moment of it - but one day a week was enough for me . I suggest you decide how much ( if any ) child care you can comfortably give and let the parents know your limitations. So many GPs are having their GC 3 or 4 days each week and many of those GPs are burnt out! Fine if it works. but that was not for me. I love children and as a nursery nurse and later an NNEB tutor I have always been involved with very young children . However much as I love my GC they are not mine - have done my bit bringing up my own children! The children are the responsibility of their parents and in my opinion adult children should not abuse the generosity of GPs !!!
Your story has been aired many times on GN so you are certainly not alone and I have voiced my opinion here on numerous occasions! Please be honest with yourself and then be honest with your child/ ren . It is hard to say " no " I recognise that and we all want to do what we can to help our children but if you offer more than you can manage the job becomes a chore you would
rather not have ! Make a decision, speak to your children and stick to your guns.
You can do this - good luck.