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Baby blanket

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MirandaIV Thu 18-Sept-25 09:43:39

I spent four months knitting a white lacy baby blanket for my grandson. This was an emotional project for me as well as being hard work. My own mother had knitted blankets for my children which they used every day for years and became very attached to. My son has very fond memories of his ‘Blankey’
They had both known about the project as I gave them regular updates and seemed interested and happy.
However, my daughter-in-law has never given my grandson the blanket. He is now 10 months old and it has never been used. She is autistic and does not like to dress him in anything cute or babyish. (Although I didn’t realise this until she had him). He is dressed in things like rugby shirts and chinos (like her) even from a tiny age.
She will not allow him to sleep with anything in his pram or cot as she believes it increases the risk of cot death.
So my question is this: would it be incredibly wrong to ask them if they are using the blanket and if not, would they consider giving it back, so that I can pass it on to my friend’s daughter, whom I am very close to. She was recently saying that she was sad that no one in her family knits and so her baby will not have any hand knitted things.
I’m happy to knit her a cardigan, but I wouldn’t want to spend four months knitting a blanket again when she is not close family.
Is this really tactless and an absolute no no?
My son and daughter-in-law are very prickly and defensive and I would be very worried about upsetting them. On the other hand, I’m pretty hurt that they haven’t used the blanket and would love it to go to someone who appreciates it.
I would appreciate your thoughts.

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Flippinheck Mon 22-Sept-25 08:12:51

My lovely mil once bought my 18 mth old dtr an outfit that was more suited to 60yr old woman. She was a proud Scot and from an expensive shop in Pitlochry she bought a dull sage coloured pinafore dress in a muted tartan and a white blouse with a fussy lace frill at the front and sleeves. It was totally impractical. I put my dtr in it on one occasion when my MIL visited because it was meant kindly but within a couple of minutes little fingers got caught in the lace which got in the way of her hands. She never wore it again but I always felt guilty.
That did not stop me from making a similar mistake with my own g’dtrs, buying clothes I liked for them but which were sometimes not suitable.
Ah well, life is full of challenges.

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GoodAfternoonTea Mon 22-Sept-25 08:17:38

I don't think a lot of the young people today 'get it' about the passing down of hand crafted things from generation to generation. I would just leave it. If your DIL in autistic, she may become even more defensive which does not bode well for the future. Why not knit another blanket and just give it to the girl who seems to appreciate such things. I am sure she will use it and treasure it. Family do not always step up to the mark one would like so share you gifts with someone who will. I make huge five foot blankets for people in the Ukraine. I have not idea who they go to but do know from photos that the pensioners who get them love them.

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Flippinheck Mon 22-Sept-25 08:18:24

I wouldn’t ask for the blanket back, which would seem too pointed to me. Surely a blanket isn’t worth risking your relationship with your son and his family. I can see how disappointing this is after all the work you put in but perhaps best to move on.

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