Impatient with Grandchildren

I imagine that you collect them from school??? How about having a chat on the way home along the lines of ‘I’d love to hear about your day at school so when we get home, wouldn’t it be nice to sit quite with a cup of tea/hot chocolate/juice and you can both tell me all about it’ . Engage with them from the outset rather than letting them through the door to start playing up.
Also, perhaps you could have some crafting stuff at your house to give them a project to work on……perhaps a Christmas card for their mum etc.

If you can, take them straight from school to a park for a run around, half an hour should do it, children behave at school then need a little mad time to burn off energy.

It is known that children are more likely to behave badly when with adults they trust will still go on loving them. So, do not worry about setting your own boundaries. Children also need and want these for safety, even when appearing to push against them.

As has been said, after being at school for several hours, where they have been trying so hard to behave themselves, they need time, to be able to relax and not have to think about this when they get home. Even more so if the weather has been bad (as it often is this time of year), and young children have been kept indoors for 'wet play' during their break times.

When I used to run a children's gymnastic club, our first evening class each weekday was for 4 & 5 year olds, and it was always noticeable how differently they behaved when they had been on wet play days.

Set your rules, keep to them whatever they are, but also allow plenty of time, for cuddles and listening to them. They will love you all the more for knowing exactly where they are with you.

Take them for a run around before heading home or if you have a garden, play clothes on and kick a ball around they ve been cooped up all day they need to let some steam out

Bungle

Hi there, feeling a bit bad today. I have my two grandchildren 4 and 7 after school two days a week.
The youngest is a bit of a handful but not anything major. I've noticed I've become a bit impatient with them sometimes, when really they're just being children.
I don't want to be that grandparent, I want them to love seeing us, which at the moment they do.
I think I was brought up always doing as told straight away, so I find it a little difficult when they don't take any notice of what I'm saying. Any advice welcome.

I know just what you mean.
I use distraction techniques, which can be anything that gets their attention away from the matter at hand.

When doing this we developed a clear routine. Might be a quick park trip on way home if weather ok. Otherwise arrive home; straight upstairs and change out of uniform; drink and small snack ready when they come down. Activity - I would have something out or have found simple cheap new things to do or whatever; varied every week but they soon got into asking to do something again etc. Nothing big and fancy.

Then @30 minutes TV whilst I prepared tea OR one or both helping with tea prep. Chat over tea. Upstairs and into pyjamas. Strories/games usually until parents home. This routine which had variations within it meant that they were generally incentivised to do as asked. To be fair they also learnt from a very young age that when asked to do something (always with an explanation if relevant) they did it as otherwise there would be consequences eg time wasted meant no time for game or whatever.

Maybe you could move towards developing a routine that works for you and them even though they are older and it will take time to get there. Either way I am sure they want to have a nice time with you just as you do with them. And yes kids do play up with the people they trust so remember that and dont beat yourself up too much. .

They're tired and often wound up when they come out of school.

Going to the park (weather permitting!) will help them let off steam, then come home, a drink and a snack.

Then @30 minutes TV whilst I prepared tea
Yes, no harm in watching the right programmes - unless they nod off in which case they'll get a second wind and won't go to bed.
I used to drive DGD home after tea and if she nodded off in the car, she'd apparently be bouncing around until about 10pm. "Don't let her go to sleep, Mum!" was the only instruction.

I have done a lot of childcare in the past with GC of a similar age group and also used to be a teacher. Your GC have been expected to work hard and behave well all day. They could also be hungry and thirsty so a snack and drink will help to calm them. Going to the park, as others have said is a really good idea if possible. Maybe some quiet undemanding activities already laid out at home for them to start the afternoon off. There’s nothing wrong at that time of day IMO in letting them watch tv for a while. Maybe make yourself a cup of tea and watch with them. From my experience they’re behaving normally even though it’s not always easy for to manage. I also found it helped to make their meal really early and see if that helps.

I pick my 5 year old GD up and I don’t ask her about her day straightaway I find something to tell her about my day…Olivia, guess what happened today…she’s interested every time and chats away about whatever I’ve told her. I used to ask her how her day had been and she’d just say ok and that was it! Eventually, I ask her what’s been the best thing about her day and that works a treat too. We try and go to the park if it’s not too cold or wet or we go home, have a snack and she likes to help preparing tea. If I’ve got her 3 year old sister too it can get a bit fraught as they both want my attention so we play a game they both enjoy which is usually mums and dads and I’m the mum 😂😂😂 all the dolls come out and they play beautifully ❤️ if they are out of sorts and not listening it’s frustrating but children have stressful days too so I just try and be patient! Hope you find a solution that dorks for you

I know how you feel - I have my grandchild most weekends and I too was feeling guilty after being short with her at times. Yes, they are being kids - and will test you, as kids do. However, there is an element that is out of our control, which you also mention. I was held to higher standards of behavior, as were my own children. We/you can't compensate in one or two days a week for whatever is going on rest of week.

I'd come home via a park (as others have suggested) - with a promise of toast/ a snack/ and a warm drink when you get home.

Something cosy on these chilly days.

I don't collect them that often, probably once a week, but we always stop for a snack on the way. I think that they're often more irritating when they're hungry.

Jaxjacky

If you can, take them straight from school to a park for a run around, half an hour should do it, children behave at school then need a little mad time to burn off energy.

Exactly this, children need to be ran.

I believe children respond well to consistency, so yes, i am the strict Granny. I have the girls 4 afternoons a week, after school or 4 days a week in the holidays.

I have them too much to let them be in charge!

I dontvthink they hate their parents for being firm or me! It's fine!

Sorry but I’m going to disagree. I worked in primary education for years and increasingly children experience a lot of over stimulation at school and really need down time when they get home. I would provide a calm environment and calmly but firmly say to them that they need to do what you’re asking them to. I don’t believe they’ll hold it against you! Maybe ask them what they feel like doing….is it just watching some tv ( which many children just don’t do these days as it’s all tablets etc) or playing a game with you…..I wouldn’t feel bad about feeling impatient with them. As grandparents we are older and don’t need to apologise for that…the children have to learn that you can love them alongside disciplining them. You may not like what they’re doing, but you do still love them…

Shove them in front of Tele or a computer

A tell them it they don't disturb you after an hour

They can have some sweets or crisps.
Stand firm and don't give i
Show them who is the Boss.

WithNobsOnIt

Shove them in front of Tele or a computer

A tell them it they don't disturb you after an hour

They can have some sweets or crisps.
Stand firm and don't give i
Show them who is the Boss.

I do hope this is a wind up!
If not, do hope you’re not a grandparent!!

I think different children respond in different ways, my youngest daughter always had to let off steam, it was straight outside, whatever the weather, charging around the garden with the neighbors children. My son needed quiet time, a bit of television, a snack and sometimes a nap, and my very conscientious oldest daughter was straight to her prep.

I’ve has a lot of helping out with my six grandchildren , and sometimes I do find it hard going. Basically I let them decide what we’re going to do, and go with the flow, they aren’t little for long.

I feel no regrets for disciplining my own children, with a smack.
But I am very easy-going with my grandchildren. For the first time in 9 years, I raised my voice to my 9 year old and I still feel sad about it . Strangely, my d.i.l. hasn’t asked me to babysit since then 😂

It worked then . . .

Nannylovesshopping

WithNobsOnIt

Shove them in front of Tele or a computer

A tell them it they don't disturb you after an hour

They can have some sweets or crisps.
Stand firm and don't give i
Show them who is the Boss.

I do hope this is a wind up!
If not, do hope you’re not a grandparent!!

Oh, I think the name gives it away, don't you, Nannylovesshopping!